the raw food cowgirl

We are all individuals!

2012-02-07T14:34:00.002-06:00

In this video I talk about the benefits I get from eating raw fruits and vegetables but also how certain fruit and veggies do aggravate my rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. I also go on a bit about my belief and suggestion that everyone needs to learn what their own bodies need and to heal your own body. There isn't just ONE answer, rule, law, belief or way to heal everyone on the planet.

We are all unique... heal thyself!

The 19 year old gelding I talk about... that's him that I'm riding on my banner. His name is Handsome Jack and he's awesome.

Here's a direct link to my article on Nightshade Plants.

I tried to find a link to the Gerson therapy "pain triad" but couldn't find one so here it is:
500 mg ascorbic acid (vitamin C powder) + 50 mg niacin + one standard aspirin tablet.

Please excuse my excessive editing.... I got carried away talking about my horses and had to cut something like 5 minutes off. Ever want to distract me just ask about my boys, horses or dogs and I'll talk forever :)

End of my 2 week juice fast and Online Organic Produce delivered to your door

2012-02-03T16:54:00.000-06:00

Here's my incomplete list of online organic grocers that will deliver organic produce to your door. I really do hate that I'm going to have to have organic produce MAILED to me. Unfortunately, in Fort Stockton Texas there just isn't a lot of other options. There is one grocery store and a Walmart. Actually I was a bit surprised to see that Walmart carries a larger variety of organics than the grocery store. At least I'll be able to get lettuce, spinach and carrots even if the carrots are in the smallest size bag possible-just the size for ONE juice. I DID find an organic grocery in Midland (Natural Foods Market and Strawberry Fields Cafe) but it's about an hour and a half away--though I can see it will be a home away from home for me.

www.thefruitguys.com
(these guys seem to be the ONLY online grocer who will deliver to me once I move to Fort Stockton)

www.greenling.com

www.farmfreshtoyou.com

www.boxedgreens.com

More to come...

Juicing, Spring Water and Alternative Hygiene Products

2012-01-24T13:38:00.000-06:00

Isn't that the most beautiful GREEN color you've ever seen?!

For those of you who have been following me or read my blog before you will know that I don't use typical name brand hygiene products. But the reason is not because I'm opposed to big business, though that is a good enough reason in itself. The entire reason is because I choose not to use chemicals around me, my home and my family.

You see, I've worked so hard at cleaning up and healing my body that for me at least, it just stands to reason that I shouldn't continue to put chemicals ON my body. But that's me.

I understand that the majority of people out there believe that they NEED to use certain products to be "clean" or to smell or look good. Most women think they "need" make-up and perfumes not to mention all the lotions, wrinkle creams, etc. Both men and women use deodorants, toothpastes, shampoos and conditioners. And I'm not even going to mention what's used on our clothing or in the home. Just think about it a minute. HOW MANY PRODUCTS DO YOU "USE" ON YOUR BODY EVERY DAY? 5? 10? How many of those have chemicals in them? Does that scare you? IT SHOULD!

Today's video I show you what I'm going to juice, a little about where I get my water and a little introduction to the idea of NOT wearing all those chemicals.... at least while you are doing a juice fast and detoxing.

Afternoon Juice on Day 8

2012-01-23T16:39:00.001-06:00

Not all my juice is GREEN.

Look at this BEAUTIFUL RED JUICE!

And what's in this beauty?

5 carrots

3 celery

1 green apple

1/4 lime

1 peeled cucumber

and the color generator and blood purifier.... 1 BEET

CHEERS!

My first video blog for you :)

2012-01-23T11:57:00.000-06:00

I'm still here and I'm still RAW!

2012-01-11T08:40:00.001-06:00

This is just a quick post to let "Ya'll" know that I'm still here and I'm pretty damn fine :)

Life is so much BETTER when you not only find but start following your true life path.

Being Your Authentic Self.

It's truly AMAZING! I am so much happier on a deeper level than I've been in... well, as long as I can remember. Oh, I've been "happy", people, things, experiences have "made me happy" but I'm not sure if I was ever happy with myself. My core.

I woke up recently, literally from the drugging of this so called "life". I'm not sure if it was from eating raw foods again, from the daily enemas and detoxing of my body or if it was from the coming of 2012. But I DID, FINALLY WAKE UP. Just after Christmas I had a dream so vivid, so real, that I knew that I had to get to the place where the dream was my reality. I am working towards that reality everyday now and I am truly and it's strange to say this and literally mean it... I feel at peace.

I know that I've had a few emails and responses to my blog thanking me for helping them, or asking me to help them. I have to admit, it's tough for me to answer. Life is such an ongoing challenge. Everyday brings something new and different to deal with and heal from. Past lives to toxic body's to energy fields. We are always dealing with something. I am working towards helping others. I feel that is where I need to go, what I need to do not only for others but for myself. So, I promise, I will get to you soon. I haven't forgotten about you and I never will :)

So.... What am I doing lately?

The MOST IMPORTANT THING: ENEMAS! Whether they be coffee or otherwise.... People, the #1 way to cleanse your body and your spirit is to detoxify your body through enemas, colonics and hydrotherapy. End of story.
I've been eating a small amount (less than a cup) of cooked organic steel cut oatmeal gruel for breakfast flavored with local honey and a dab of organic yogurt and cinnamon.
I am drinking juice MANY times a day. A cup or two every hour or two or as long as three in between... but SEVERAL every single day. If I use my juicer is almost always carrot apple. If I'm making a smoothie it's almost always just greens, a fruit and water.
I'm eating a salad once a day. Just lettuce with a light dressing of flax oil and lemon juice.
I've QUIT eating the following: nama shoya (also known as Braggs amino acids or coconut aminos, any of those) and SALT. I have also limited my olive oil SIGNIFICANTLY. And I eat a few bites of avocado maybe once a month. I'm getting my fats mostly from the flax oil, a dab of olive oil here and there and the yogurt in the morning. And I've also cut my nut intake - even though they are sprouted or soaked nuts only anyway, I've still cut them to nearly an 1/8 of my previous intake.
I'm eating seasonally. Right now I'm eating a ton of citrus from the store and the greens are from my greenhouse and gardens (Yes, I'm thankful to live far enough south to still have cilantro and arugula growing from self seeding in my front gardens.
I'm meditating every single morning.
Drinking my homemade KOMBUCHA nearly every day.
Other than the morning oatmeal I'm eating everything else RAW. I'm not cooking anything anymore. I'm not even eating the Hippocrates soup at the moment. But I think that's just because I got bored with it. It absolutely helped at the time however :)

Does all of this help and make me feel better? YES, ABSOLUTELY!

What am I drinking now? a green smoothie of spinach, arugula, lettuce, parsley, cilantro, apple and lemon. I can feel the SUN inside of me :)

Happy 2012!

2012-01-02T14:31:00.001-06:00

2012 is the

Year of Enlightenment!

The time has finally come for those of us who have been sleeping to awaken and join the Light! And I, for one, am not ignorning this awesome calling.

For years I have heard a calling from the distance. Soft and sweetly I've heard the whispers of the Old Ones, the Lightworkers, and others like me. The past year the whispering turned a little chaotic. Raw emotions flowed from me like molten lava or lightening more so in 2011 than any year of my life. Listening was often difficult and as a stubborn woman I often couldn't see the forest for the tress and tried desperately to cut down the trees growing so obviously in my supposed "path". To say I didn't deal with my feelings is an understatement. The past couple months my emotions started reaching new highs (and lows) and my life became a roller coaster of craziness mixed with calm serenity. One day I'd have a pretty good idea of what I needed to do. Other days I rebelled against myself, my family and my husband without listening to them or spirit.

I've known for awhile that this year would be different, and not just because of all the "end of the world" stuff related to 2012. I've been so busy just getting by in this life that I forgot to look to the future and BE in the moment. 2011 I tried harder than I have in years to "be in the moment". It's hard for me as I have a tendency to live in the past. I've worked at learning to Love, Let Live and Let Go. I'm no where near close to perfecting it but I believe I've worked through some of the hard parts.

This year I am focusing on bringing to fruitation what I've been called to BE in this lifetime. The seed of my Being was planted so long ago and though I've watered it sporadically, this year I will tend to it every single day. I will water it with love, fertilize it with knowledge and care for it like a seedling Oak that will someday grow into a strong tree with her roots firmly planted in Mother Earth. I will forever be learning and growing, growing and learning.... and at the same time, teaching, loving and giving to you and to the world.

I am dedicated to You. I AM your fountain of Love and Light!

Coffee Enemas

2011-11-27T20:21:00.001-06:00

I've been wanting to write or do a video on coffee enemas but I'm just to chicken. But recently I found that the Wellness Warrior did a video and it's just AWESOME! You can watch it now and my comments will be below.

I do them a bit different but not drastically different.

Here is EXACTLY what I do: Immediately upon waking (about 7:45 am) I start my coffee (and if you follow the Gerson Therapy I also start my oatmeal). I have a 4 cup (32 oz) Bodum french press that looks just like this one to the right. I put 3 rounded tablespoons of ORGANIC MEDIUM ROAST COFFEE GROUND in it and fill it about a third to halfway with boiling water. Note about water: I get my water from a natural spring about 30 miles away and yes, the water has been tested and it's amazingly clean water. I know I should use distilled water but something in my soul says that there are minerals in there that Mother Earth wants me to have.
Then I go feed my horses, eat my oatmeal and juice my first juice of the day at about 8-8:15 am.
I then add another cup or two of boiling water to the coffee and stir. It's easy to add the boiling water if you have a water dispenser that heats it like I do or if you use an electric tea kettle or even if you just boil it on the stove. I let that set until 9 am. Most mornings after I eat I need to "go" to the bathroom naturally. The enema works much better if you've evacuated your bowels first. This is a retention enema -not a cleansing enema.
At about 9 I check the temperature of the water and fill it up with either hot or cold to reach body temperature then take it to the bathroom and fill up my bucket which looks like this.

I have a nice little nest on the floor pretty much like the one described by the Wellness Warrior. I have a small pillow and a thick bathmat that I've covered with a large waterproof pad that they use under your butt in hospital bed after you've had a baby (sorry don't know how else to describe them) they cost about 60 cents a piece. You can use a towel but it is going to get messy. Sorry. There is no way around it. I've been doing them over a year now and the amount of times that it went perfectly can be counted on one hand. Coffee will "escape" one way or another. It's just how it goes. Anyway, I highly suggest music or a book to keep your mind occupied or the minutes will literally drag by and it will seem like an eternity.
I also use coconut oil to lube up the end.
Lay on your right side with your knees close but comfortably close to your chest, insert the end 3-4" and SLOWLY let out the coffee. I don't care if it takes 10 minutes to let all the coffee SLOWLY drip in. Just remember you will have much better luck keeping it in for the 12-15 minutes if and only if it goes in slowly. Goes in fast, won't want to stay in and comes out faster. Once it is all in then you start your timer, again for 12-15 minutes or until you can't hold it any longer. Note: It took me months to get my bowels trained to hold it that long. MONTHS, not days and not weeks. Months. Don't push yourself, everyone's body is different. Shoot, you may get it on the first try!
A little trick I learned to help keep it in longer is to make sure you don't have any left over obstructions from your (hopefully) earlier evacuation. I let in just a little bit of coffee. It's hard to say how much because mine is steel and you can't see how much but I count to 5 then clamp it down, remove the tube and lay there 2-3 minutes then get up and let it go into the toilet. There... now getting it all in and keeping it all in will be so much easier - trust me!
Repeat the above by lubing up the end, (though not too much or it will slip right out and it will spray all over you and the floor) and remember to RELAX. Let it in slowly. Stop it if at any time you feel it wants to back up. If it does feel like it wants to come out you can lower the bucket and let it flow back in. Sometimes it's just air and you see bubbles going up the tube. This is perfectly normal. When the pressure is gone, slowly let the coffee flow again. You will learn how your particular body likes it. Listen to your body - it is the best teacher.
And.... This isn't rocket science. This doesn't require a nurse. People have been giving themselves enemas for probably hundreds of years if not thousands. It's like childbirth. It used to be so easy and normal and then the medical community came in and wanted paid for something natural and made everyone afraid to do something your great great grandmother did as a way of life. Just remember that the temperature should be body temperature. I prefer a touch warmer than body temp but if you are worried about burning your insides, colder isn't that big of a deal.
After you've held it 12-15 minutes or if you couldn't hold it that long, then of course, evacuate it all into the toilet. You will probably need to sit there awhile. I have no idea how long you will need. I spend at least another 10 minutes there I'm guessing. I don't know though, never timed myself. I do know that I can read a lot of pages or listen to lots of music during my morning coffee. Keep in mind though not to rush yourself to evacuate it all at once. There are lots of crooks and cranies and it will get stopped up in there. Just relax, it will all come out... Oh, unless it doesn't because your body started absorbing the fluids. Which is also fine.

Alrightly then! I hope I've successfully described my morning coffee routine to you. Please feel free to ask me ANYTHING! I'm here to help. Really!

Almost Raw Vegan Eggplant Parmesan

2011-11-24T15:16:00.001-06:00

So the above is a picture of my "Almost Raw Vegan Eggplant Parmesan". It's nestled on a bed of slightly warmed spirilized zucchini topped with a raw Italian tomato sauce (roma tomatoes, onion, garlic, green pepper, basil, parsley and a dash of salt and a squirt of agave). The white is a cashew "cheese" sauce (cashews, lemon juice, olive oil and a dash of salt and water). The eggplant's crust is a mixture of ground flax, pecans and fresh oregano. I kinda had hoped the eggplant would "sweat" enough in the salt to soften up to an edible consistancy but it didn't in time so I threw it in the oven at 350º for 8 minutes per side. Yes, bad for "raw" but awesome tasting and came out a much better texture and flavor. Overall I was pretty happy though the cook in me really wanted that eggplant cooked twice as long for a more restaurant type texture. I have several extra slices and I'm sure when I warm them up in the dehydrator they will be much better.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

May you all be Thankful for the wonderful family, friends and gifts already in your lives.

Preparing for Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-23T19:16:00.001-06:00

This year's Thanksgiving is going to be a little bit different than recent years. First off this will be the first year in ten years my husband won't be home with us. I have no idea if this will be the first of many future holidays alone or not. Only time will give me the answer to that question. What won't change is that this will be my 5th Thanksgiving since since these lips have touched a turkey - or meat at all for that matter.

Food wise, what is going to be a bit different is that I'm going to lightly cook what I'm calling "Almost Raw-Vegan Eggplant Parmesan" In previous years and most holidays of the past I've made raw vegan lasagna mostly because it's such a pain in the ass to make unless there is a special reason. Oh, there was that first year---that I'm sure if you searched through my older posts you would find--- that I actually attempted raw mashed "taters" outta cauliflower (gross) and raw mushroom gravy (so salty, weird color and consistency if I remember right). If I remember right I did make some sort of raw pie. I do have a small butternut squash. Maybe I'll make something with it for myself.

I am making a cooked vegan dish for both the boys and myself. Baked fresh green beans and brussels sprouts. I got the original recipe out of the November issue of Women's Day but trust me when I say I've tweaked it to make it "Gerson friendly".

For the boys I'm making a traditional meal of Cornish game hens with apple sausage stuffing, mashed taters and gravy. Oh, and not to worry about the kids, I made them a pumpkin and my deadly whiskey pecan pies.

If I have time and remember I'll post pictures of my "Almost Raw-Vegan Eggplant Parma" tomorrow :)

Update on how I'm doing on the Gerson Therapy

2011-11-19T21:47:00.001-06:00

I apologize for the lack of posts the last few months.

I've been BUSY! Very busy juicing and juicing and making Hippocrates Soup and enjoying my coffee enemas.....

and H E A L I N G!

The first few weeks on (my version of) the Gerson Therapy was quite a roller coaster ride. Some days I was slightly better. Some days I was much worse. I experienced headaches, increased joint pain and inflammation, incredible muscle pain and quite a bit of a whirlwind of up and down depression mixed with hope. There were nights and nights of insomnia and then there were days all I wanted to do was sleep but had to get up every hour to juice.

Up until Monday of this week, I've got to be honest, I was feeling pretty awesome. The pain and inflammation of the rheumatoid arthritis had practically disappeared though admittedly not 100%. The fibromyalgia had though, seemingly disappeared all together---which is just amazing. I was feeling more and more like my old self everyday. I had lost about 6 pounds and was just fitting into a size smaller jean which also increased my self-esteem and encouraged me to keep going because I was literally seeing the results as well as feeling them. Sleep was wonderfully easy to attain and I felt rested in the mornings. There is the exception that I wasn't wanting to get out of bed in the mornings even though my body felt rested but that was entirely an emotional issue.

Well, those emotional issues came to a head Monday afternoon. I sometimes wonder if being healthy does something to my brain. I want to know... really... why is it that when I feel good, my body starts to heal and I see the possibility of an actual healthy future that I do and say things that have the potential to cause my self-destruction? Or is it that it's actually not self-destruction but the need to be true to myself for a change. Does being healthy cause my true self to want to come out from behind the cripple mask? Is the thought of being crippled and in physical pain the rest of my life easier for me to deal with than what happens to my feelings when I start feeling physically healthy? Because the thoughts and feelings that run through this girl's head when she feels good is scary... and heartbreaking.

Anyway, due to personal issues I'm not comfortable discussing here, I ended up taking a road trip Tuesday. And even though I took my juicer and my veggies I still cheated... a lot. And I drank everyday for 3 days. And ate bread and cheese and dairy and things I knew I shouldn't be eating and drinking. I knew that every bite would not only stop my progression of getting healthier but take me backwards. But I did it willingly and with intention. Crazy? Yes and No. If you knew the circumstances of my emotional and mental state I believe you would understand. How do you choose? It's impossible. I want both.

Now I am home again and the past two days I've been trying to get back into my schedule-but it's tough. Even just a few days and those addictions hit me hard. I have been doing the juicing though not as many as I'm supposed to. I haven't actually been eating enough, just a salad here and there but I did make a batch of Hippocrates Soup this afternoon. And of course I've continued with the coffee enemas. I never stopped those as they help me so much with pain management.

I'm upset with myself because my hands started swelling and hurting again. I'm frustrated that my feet, ankles, knees and hips are painful again. I'm mad that my sleep is seriously disrupted again. And I'm just depressed that in 3 days I gained the 6 pounds that took me 2 months to lose (though losing weight was not the intention-it just made me feel better about myself).

Image courtesy VintageHolidayCrafts.com

But I know I can do it again. I know I can get back to where I was at the beginning of the week. I know my joints and muscles will feel 'normal' and my sleep patterns will return and the weight will come off and I will feel good again.

Yet at the same time now I also have to deal with a personal issue that is incredibly difficult. And I don't know what to do about it. I keep telling myself 'one day at a time, one minute at a time'. That now instead of healing just my body, now I'm healing my whole self. Body and Soul. I hope I'm strong enough.

Depending on the religion there are actually many possible meanings surrounding the Lotus Flower but the most basic meaning that means the most to me is the simpleness of BIRTH OR REBIRTH and SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT. I look forward to the 'rebirth' of my body and my soul.

2011-11-03T18:23:00.000-05:00

This is absolutely the BEST video I've seen on FIBROMYALGIA. I know it sounds "crazy" but it's all true. I've experienced all of it personally on and off for years. At the end the video poses a question... and the answer is "YES". BUT WE CAN ALSO CURE IT OURSELVES.

Valerie Lumley's Story of curing her Fibromyalgia

2011-11-03T18:15:00.003-05:00

This woman's story makes mine look like a picnic. Yet our stories are similar.

Chronic disease CAN be reversed with a high raw food diet.

I love Dan the Man :)

2011-11-03T18:05:00.000-05:00

I've been watching the Life Regenerator for a few years now. If you are interested in tons and tons of health and healing videos about raw food and juicing but not turned off by a slightly crazy healthy guy.... this is worth watching :)

Fibromyalgia Healing and Cure

2011-10-08T21:44:00.002-05:00

Fermenting, Fermenting, Everywhere Fermenting!

2011-10-07T13:23:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago I was cleaning up in my office and found a GT Dave's Kombucha drink with a baby SCOBY (Symbiotic Culture of Bacteria and Yeast) in the bottom! I was so very excited as I've been wanting to make my own kombucha for quite some time but thought that I had to buy a "mother" off the internet. I didn't realize I could make my own. After a bit of digging on the internet (seriously, when the world collapses what am I going to do without internet!) I found out that, yes, a person really can make a mother from just leaving a jar of purchased kombucha on their desk for a few weeks. Crazy!

So I then set my little mother scoby aside and brewed up a batch of sweet tea using half Jasmine tea and half Dragon Pearl tea and a cup of organic raw sugar in 8 cups spring water. I then added a cup of purchased kombucha and the little mother scoby. I covered it an an antique flour sack and hid it in an upper cabinet. Here is a picture of what it looks like after about 3 weeks. The little 2" mother that I found in my purchased bottle sunk to the bottom and I think she's still down there but I have no idea. I'm not supposed to disturb it so I don't rightly know at the moment. I'm sure she's down there somewhere. You can see that a new paperthin baby is forming at the top. Too slowly for me, but still, she's growing and that's what matters.

I tasted the brew and I'm afraid its a little too vinegary for my tastes but I think I'll still try to mix it with some fruit juices this afternoon and bottle those and let them sit out another week and see what happens. I'm thinking I'll do some of each: lemon-ginger, pear, and blackberry.

I've brewed up another batch of green tea and Dragon Pearl tea with organic raw sugar and I will feed that to the mother this afternoon. She needs the sugar and caffeine to feed off of and as it's tasting pretty vinegary I want to give her some fresh food.

Now, on to more fermenting!

Wow! Will you look at this! I made this beautiful purple sauerkraut this morning. I was supposed to be doing some graphics work but as I'm the Queen of Procrastination I decided making sauerkraut was more appropriate.

And just so you know, this is my First Attempt at making this amazingly powerful raw pro-biotic food.

Here's my Raw Purple Sauerkraut recipe

1 massive head green cabbage

1 small head purple cabbage

1 fennel bulb

4 cloves garlic

1 Tbs semi-ground caraway seeds

1-2 Tbs Sea Salt

I shredded everything with my food processor, poured into a large mixing bowl and salted. After washing my hands really well with non-chemical coconut soap I started the "smooshing" process. I've got to tell you, for a woman with RA, the smooshing was a little more difficult than I'd like to admit. But at the same time it was therapeutic. It's nice to take out your frustrations on innocent cabbage knowing your turning it into something yummy.

I've got to be honest. I was quite surprised at the color. I expect it will turn pink after 5 days to a week of fermenting on the counter. I'll take pictures as the days go by and show you the color change.

Day 14 of Gerson Therapy

2011-10-04T12:22:00.000-05:00

So this is going to be a quick post but I wanted to keep you up to date as to what I'm up to.

Today is Day 14 of being on the Gerson Therapy. Well, my version of the Gerson Therapy. I can't afford all the supplements and it's taking most of my money just to buy the organics for the juice and the Hippocrates Soup. But I am doing it the best that I can.

I'm juicing 8-10 times a day, 1C at a time, about every hour. I'm eating oatmeal with water and honey for breakfast and 8-12 oz of Hippocrates Soup every lunch and dinner with a salad at lunch and lightly cooked veggies at night. Plus all the fruit I want. The only oil or fat I'm eating is 1 Tbs of Flaxseed oil once or twice a day. I'm also taking 50 mg of Niacin 5 times a day when I remember. Then there are the 2 coffee and 1 chamomile enemas.

At first I lost 5 pounds but it came back over the weekend when I cheated.... of course. My husband came home for the first time in two months and we ate out only twice and I was good but it kicked in my sugar and bread habit again and it took a few days to get off the breads again.

I've been feeling, overall, like crap. I believe the fibromyalgia has improved considerably but the RA has gotten worse. I'm pretty sure it is just from the healing reaction of the major detoxing my body has been going through. I started feeling better after I ate some bread when Ron was home which is from the slowing down of the detoxing. Sure, it was organic pumpernickel and wow was it good but overall, not worth it.

I'm not sure what to think of what I'm doing. I feel strange eating lightly cooked vegetables. I feel like a huge cheater eating hot organic veggie soup twice a day. But at the same time I feel like I'm starting to actually detox.

Which brings me to wonder what being on a high raw vegan diet really did for me. If I had been just eating fruit and vegetables I think I'd have been healthy and happy all along. But I added raw soaked nuts, nut mylks, cacao, raw superfood powder smoothies and lots and lots of coconut butter. Did any or all of those items somehow aggregate my healing? Because without them it's obvious I started to detox and heal again. So which of those "comfort" raw items was it that stopped my healing?

I do know that SALT is or at least for me, has become my Number One Aggravator. I can't have even the tiniest dash or the fibromyalgia flares within HOURS. Then by the next day my hand and feet joints are hot and swollen again with the RA. Salt is the devil. The Gerson Therapy has that one dead to rights.

Taking a New Road

2011-09-21T13:41:00.000-05:00

For those of you who follow my blog you may have seen a post last week about my blog's upcoming 4th Anniversary. You may have also noticed that the aforementioned post is now gone. I had plans on handmaking some things and giving them away but just like any "Spoonie" will know, you shouldn't count on being healthy tomorrow, next week, or any other day for that matter.

Due to unforeseen stress around the ranch I came down with a major flare. Said flare then proceeded to piss me off, because I'd been oh so good being 100% raw, that the stress from getting the flare from the ranch stress caused my flare to reach new levels of 'bad'. This increase in symptoms was then followed by more stress from a bad hay deal and threats to me of being charged with felony theft by stopped check (for said moldy rotten hay). Long story short, I still have the hay but they are coming to pick it up any day thanks to our local county ag extension agent coming to my rescue to certify that the hay was actually unfeedable.

Unfortunately all this stress nearly put me on my back in bed. I would have been if it wouldn't have been so painful to lay still for so long. Well, that and the fact I have teenagers who need picked up and delivered and re-picked up multiple times a day.

During this time I was and have been between 98-100% raw vegan. I've been good! I swear! But it's just not helping much anymore. I don't know why. I know I haven't been juicing enough and possibly having too many raw cacao smoothies but they are my comfort food now.

Sometimes the right path is as clear as.... well, this. Not so clear after all.

So I decided to go back to the drawing board so to speak. I went back to Andrew Saul's recommendations and while reviewing them I realized that the answer was right in front of me. Okay, it was on my nightstand. The Gerson Therapy.

Dr. Max Gerson saved/cured numerous people from all sorts of disease including most cancers. His daughter, Charlotte Gerson is now following in her father's footsteps and has published several books, dvd's, and more about healing with the Gerson Therapy. Last week I started to re-read her book "Healing The Gerson Way" and it inspired me to try it. Or at least as close as I can on the limited budget I have.

Today is Day 1 of my Gerson Journey and to be honest it's been a whirlwind of a day. Lets just say that juicing every hour on the hour and 3 full meals a day with 3 enemas is a lot of work. I knew that up front but really it is a lot more than I expected. That being said, I'm on a time crunch and have to juice RIGHT NOW and then run to get a kid from school, run back and have another coffee enema and juice. After that I will then have a few hours of peace and quiet before dinner and a chamomile enema.

A quick note: I feel normalish. I'm of course sore and tired and most of my joints and muscles hurt-as normal during a flare. However the headache that started an hour ago is a bit new. Sure I get them now and then but this one I can feel is different. It's not a muscles/tension headache from my neck and shoudlers it's a full on between the eyes kind of head ache. Just shy of a migraine. Whopee! Let the detox begin.

Today's Juice and a Shout Out to The Wellness Warrior

2011-09-12T12:52:00.005-05:00

Just thought I'd share my breakfast with you this morning.

5 Carrots
1/2 bunch Celery
1 small Beet plus greens
1/2 bunch Parsley
1 Zuccinini
1 Apple
3 leaves purple Kale
2" Ginger root (it's under the carrots)

And yes - everything was organic! Opps... I may have just lied to you... it's possible that zucchini wasn't. But I always peel zucs so that helps.

I just love the layers of colors I get. I almost hate stirring it but you've got to get the parsley and kale mixed in otherwise it kinda hangs out at the bottom. It's a bit like drinking pond sludge that way. Good for you but the consistency is yucky.

So the past week has been a roller coaster for my emotions and health. I hate it when I allow that to happen to me. I think I'm on the upturn though. I'm just the kind of person who can't help but let emotional stress get the better of me. I want to change but since I'm nearly 43 maybe I just need to accept that I'm a highly sensitive person and I need to protect myself a bit better. Okay, a lot better.

So here is a current picture of me! Wrinkles, laugh lines and all my funkiness showing with my hair up in what I call my mom version of pigtails. I've been wearing it up a lot since moving to East Texas-especially in the summer. My goodness it gets freakishly hot here! I guess it's good to sweat out all the toxins my coffee enemas and juicing doesn't get out of me, lol!

Talking about coffee enemas...

Have I ever told you just how much

I LOVE COFFEE ENEMAS?!

Seriously, I don't know what I'd do without them. It is truly amazing how much they help with pain. After years of doing them and now over six months of doing them every single day I think I'm getting close enough to feel that I can write you an in depth and educational post about them. But until then... don't knock what you haven't tried.

Today's plan is to finish this blog and clean house then run to town to get my son from school. Oh... and then come home for a few hours an and then drive back to get my youngest. I'm seriously upset with the high school that they won't let my middle son hang out in the library the last two hours of the day until the bus runs. It's only another week and then he gets his drivers license and he can drive. But until then and for the past several weeks I've been making TWO trips to town (14 miles one-way) for kids and school. Yuk :(

Oh, one last thing. I want to give a

BIG OLE TEXAS SHOUT-OUT

(okay, I know I'm not Texan but I do live here :)

The Wellness Warrior

We Love You Jess!!!

click link above to visit her

AWESOME GERSON-PERSON BLOG!

The woman is truly and inspiration

go and check her out yourself!

Warning! This post is about religion and spirituality

2011-09-10T14:26:00.001-05:00

I want to say right off the bat that I am not a religious person. I am a Spiritual person and my spirituality is always and forever evolving and changing. I personally believe that this is the way it is supposed to be for me and that it's okay for everyone's religious path to be different. For some people religion is cut and dried. You were raised in a certain religion and you've just never considered anything else. End of story. But for me it's bigger than that.

I think my childhood church going days were fairly typical, at least in western Nebraska. We didn't attend every single week but I'd guess at least most Sundays. Growing up in the Methodist church and being part of the choir was wonderful for a girl who love to sing and I gratefully sang anything they wanted me to. Though I've always especially loved hallelujah songs. I started out in the children's choir and sang all the way up until graduation from high school without any prompting from my parents. My mother was raised Methodist so I can only assume that is why we attended that particular church. Well, that and the minister was a good friend of my parents and as he was a history buff like my father sermons often included more than just bible readings. I can honestly say though that as a child I didn't go to church for actual religious reasons, musical and historical absolutely.

My dad's parents were Baptist and whenever we would go to visit my grandparents we had to go to church with them. There just wasn't a choice and I hated every second of it. That minister and his fire and brimstone Baptist sermons terrified me. I was a shy and basically good though strong willed child, but because of those sermons I just knew I was going to end up in Hell. I am so very grateful that I grew into an open minded adult and didn't get sucked down the rabbit hole of Heaven or Hell.

When I was a teenager I choose to get baptized in the Methodist church. My parents had never gotten around to it and eventually left the choice up to me. When the opportunity in high school came up I jumped right in but my reasons were not entirely religious. As I'd lost my virginity a year or so before that I was hoping to be forgiven of my sins and start new. I remember that day fairly clearly and the months that followed. Getting baptized didn't change me one bit, good or bad.

During college I went to church maybe once or twice when my roommate would drag me along after she'd had an unusually crazy night before. It didn't bother me to go but I also never felt like I was missing anything in my life by not attending either. I'm sure I prayed now and then but never in the traditional sense.

My first husband was a lapsed Catholic so it was no big deal that we married in my childhood Methodist church. Our two boys were later baptized there as well. However we never really attended church other than holidays and I don't think either of us missed it.

After our divorce I started looking for something. A reason for the pain and suffering of not just myself but of the world. I tried a several churches and religions and at one time I nearly joined a Christian type group, that my sister constantly referred to as a cult, in Lincoln Nebraska. A few years after that when I was really struggling with trying to find answers to questions typical Christianity couldn't answer for me I started picking up books about Pagan beliefs. I was intrigued and even started reading up on witchcraft for awhile though It was always just research and I never did anything with what I'd read. At the time, even though I was searching for religious answers, I really enjoyed learning what I considered the history of the world's regions. I even read up on Buddhism and a bit about the Mormons. I'm still thankful that I took the time to open my mind about the worlds religions at that time in my life.

After awhile though, I found myself again praying to the god of my childhood. Though I enjoyed everything I was learning I felt like I was cheating on Him and that my bad luck in love was proof I'd somehow pissed Him off by reading up on other religions. I had been single 8 years and I was so lonely that I would pray to my Methodist God everynight for a man to love me.

The man I eventually met and fell in love with and married was also, like my first husband, a lapsed Catholic. I began to take this as a sign and after we were married by a judge I started going to Catichism classes. During the time I was taking those classes I had questions but as I'm normally a great student I learned what I was supposed to and pushed my questions aside. Eventually I became a full fledged Catholic and we were married in the Catholic church. We went to church like good Catholics for awhile then my husband's job took over most Sundays. The boys and I kept going without him for more than a year after that but eventually we were lucky to go once a month.

When we decided to move down south over three years ago I knew there would be lots of change in our lives. I had no idea then that my religious beliefs would actually be broken while living in the Bible Belt.

My first job in East Texas was at a faith based children's organization. When I first interviewed with them I was asked if I was a Christian and I said I was Catholic. Since they hired me I didn't think there was going to be any problems. I was shocked to find prayers kicked off everything from snack time to business meetings but after awhile I kinda began to enjoy the group prayers. It took me several months to fully understand the stir I caused when I crossed myself after prayers. Up until then I thought as long as we all believed in God we were all on the same team. Eventually I began to understand just how differently these Bible Belt people thought. Not all but some of the people I worked with considered Catholics or anyone other than their version of Baptist to be.... well, I'm not sure exactly what they thought but I understood that they believed that in my current religious circumstances I'd never get to Heaven. My immediate boss was a Baptist minister and frequently asked me if I was "saved", "prayed over" me quite often-in front of me and asked me almost monthly to attend his church. It was a completely new feeling for me to be discriminated against, even if it wasn't an in your face discrimination. I like to tell people I quit that job for a better opportunity but the honest truth was that I felt like every move I made at work and into my personal life was under a religious microscope by my immediate boss and many others. I learned from some-not all of the people at that job about religious discrimination and hypocrisy. Still, I didn't fully understand at the time just how much the experience of working in that situation shook the foundation of my religious beliefs.

Somewhere during this time my husband met some team-ropers who were involved with a Cowboy Church and as we hadn't been to a Catholic church since moving to Texas (they are few and far between down here) we thought we'd try it. Most Cowboy Churches are not related to any specific religion though they do still read from the Bible. There was always a ton of singing--- almost too much for a woman who still loves to sing. We went for several months but I couldn't ever shake my mixed feelings. I tried several times to make sense of my dislike of that church. I'd think for awhile it was because I wanted to go to a Catholic church and I felt like I was somehow cheating. Then after awhile I'd think it was all religions relating to the Lord God.

My next job was a short and rocky two months but that boss was a Buddhist and the good I was left with was in learning that not everyone in ETX are hypocritical Baptists. Not that all Baptists are hypocrites. Most of my relatives are Baptists but I swear they are an entirely different religion than the ones I've met here in the South.

Immediately after losing that job I found myself homeschooling my youngest and religion was gratefully on the back burner again. As I was worried about our social life I decided we needed to join a homeschool group so he could still have friends. I found out quickly that every group in our area were Christian based and wanted us to sign religious belief contracts and Catholics were not welcome unless you denounced Catholicism and joined their churches. Eventually I found an open group of homeschoolers that accepted all or no religious beliefs. I thought I'd found the perfect group until I quickly and surprisingly found that most were Pagans and some were even outright witches and were raising their children as such. It never bothered me being part of that group. Actually I've never felt more accepted for being myself as when I was part of that group. Not to mention that being part of that group was an enlightening and educational summer for me. I learned again that not everyone is a hypocrite and not everyone wants to convert you to their religion. It was a welcome time for me to learn it was okay to be myself, to believe or not believe and that it was all my choice. It's been just a year since I've had any contact with that group, though our falling out had nothing to do with religion.

I admit that in my lifetime I've found myself praying to more than one god or goddess. I've lit candles to honor the elements, danced around a fire on the autumn equinox, carried crystals, made potions and wielded a handmade willow wand. I've chanted to Hecete and I've prayed the Rosery to Mother Mary. I have pleaded to The Lord God to ease my trouble and Mother Earth has received my tears.

Yet all this time I still haven't found a religion that I believe whole-heartedly in.

I DO know I have and will always believe in reincarnation, the after-life and that our souls are forever. I believe that we are so much more than the here and now. I believe that this "life" is just a stepping stone on our path to enlightenment. I don't believe that this is our only chance and that when we die we are at the end of the road.

I am completely and totally confident in those beliefs. I also believe that someday I'll meet not only Jesus but Hecete, Budda and all the gods and goddesses in one big and all loving spirit plane. And I believe you will be there too. No matter what your religion or whether you agree with me or not, I personally believe I'll meet you there someday too. Because I also don't believe only the good and righteous go to to Heaven and the bad go to Hell. I believe we are all here to learn what we personally need to learn in this lifetime. I also believe that the only Hell that exists is the one we put ourselves through.

2011-09-07T22:03:00.001-05:00

ME...

I am frustrated!

Why?

Because over the last few days I've actually been working on two full blog posts but I'm just not feeling that they are ready to publish. WTH?! I've never cared before if my thoughts were "publishable" or not.

I think part of my inability to publish them is because they both deal with very personal emotional issues and I just can't seem to get the right words out to express how I'm feeling. Well, that's not exactly correct. I've gotten those words out in several edits but to write it in a way that not only helps me but might be beneficial to someone else....well, that's proven to be a bit more difficult.

I originally planned the first post to be a nice cut and dry piece about stress but it's proven to be the most difficult to write. It's all about acknowledging what has been causing me ongoing stress and therefor several outrageous flares this summer and releasing those things and people that helped to cause those stresses.

The second post might seem emotionally easier to write about but strangely it's been just as difficult. I've always been a passionate person but I've let my passion... for pretty much everything other than my children, get sidelined by the increasing pain, loss of motion and fatigue I've been trying to deal with/ignore for the past year, year and a half. So this post has been just as emotionally draining as the first post about releasing stress.

I guess I'm not emotionally ready to post either of them so I'm just going to keep them in the background until I'm ready to edit and finish them. You'll see them when you see them.

I do have two items of good news though.

THE COUCH...

I started going back to my therapist today. Originally I went to see her for depression but she quickly helped me to realize that some of my depression is a direct result from my illness and feelings of loss in my life- of my life. I quit going to her for awhile due to summer vacations and missed appointments but now with autumn coming it will be easier to schedule again.

And.... I finally got the call for an appointment from my choice rheumatologist! There are several here that I could go to but the majority of them I knew wouldn't support my lifestyle and choice to stay drug free. Though I'm not certain how this doctor and I will get along I do know that she does lean a bit more my way that to the typical pharmaceuticals only approach. I'll tell you all about it but it's not until the end of October. I can wait, I haven't been to a rheumy since 2007 anyway. Another couple months won't kill me.

Is rage really the way to deal with disbelief of "invisible disease"?

2011-09-02T21:45:00.001-05:00

I had planned on blogging about my acupuncture experience yesterday. Unfortunately some painful emotional issues have unexpectedly popped up in my life today.

And I don't know how to express what happened and how I feel about it.

I've been stewing about the whole thing for over 7 hours now and I'm still not sure what to say. At the same time I know its a huge issue that I need to talk about not just for myself but for everyone with an "invisible disease".

---Two hours later and I'm still not sure how to write about how I'm feeling...

Okay, so I'll start with what happened to me.

The short version is that during an already dicey discussion with a family member that I hadn't spoken to in months (and before that over a year) he suddenly said, and I quote, "You need to stop whining to your parents about your health." Everything he said after that gets a little fuzzy but the rest of his advice included the following phrases that are hopefully not forever seared into my memory:

"stop acting like a child"
"we're all getting older deal with it like an adult"
"stop feeling sorry for yourself"
"keep your (my) arthritis off facebook because everyone is getting old" (This was interesting because after 3 years he's never accepted my friend request so he must be spying on me through his wife's facebook profile.)
Etc., etc., etc....

I wonder if he knows about my blog. I doubt it because that would have only escalated my "whining" to a whole new level for him to complain about.

For those of you who know me, you might have an idea as to my reaction. For those of you who don't let me tell you how it went down for me. I was at first immensely hurt. I'm unfortunately an extremely sensitive person (I hear there is an term for people like me called HSP, but that's another blog post). Then the hurt was replaced with disbelief that someone from my family could not only say those things to me but actually believe that I'm... I'm what---making this up? exaggerating? looking for sympathy? Here is where my wonderful heritage comes into play as my disbelief was replaced with shear rage.

A cute and PG version of me earlier today.

I'm a fiercely passionate and stubborn chick and have been since birth. I'm told it's genetic from our mother's side and if you know my mom you will undoubtedly agree. I have three beautiful, intelligent and wonderfully passionate and stubborn young men. I'm on my second marriage. I'm going to be 43 this winter. I've lived through more than my share of battles and I've learned over the years that remaining calm and in control is more beneficial to everyone in the long run. I've grown to realize that there really is never an appropriate reason to let out my "inner demon" with the exception, of course, of fighting for my life or the lives of those I love. I've been a good Fire Sign as of late and I don't think I've even let that creature (completely) out of her cave since my early to mid 30's.

Today she came out in full force, dressed to kill and she was well rested.

I'm not necessarily proud of my reaction. Part of me does wish I could have calmly and compassionately explained the entire situation to him. Oh! Wait a minute--- actually I did try that route but he interrupted me to tell me that his arthritis and high blood pressure was all part of getting old and as he was more mature than I, he kept it all to himself like adults are supposed to.

I'm sure that's what finally set me off. His comparing my multiple doctor diagnoses of sero-negative auto-immune disease (blood negative rheumatoid arthritis), ankylosing spondylitis and fibromyalgia to his lower back pain from driving a dozer for twenty years and obviously self inflicted high blood pressure from "being an adult" and keeping everything to himself.

Should I have let my fiery she devil loose on him? NO.
Should he have diminished my pain and illness? NO.

Nothing will change what happened to me and to our family today. The sad and regrettable truth is that my own sibling doesn't believe that I have anything other than old age arthritis. Nothing I can do or say will change his mind or make him believe me. But what I really want is for him to love me, truly love and accept me for me... his little sister.

I've been prescribed Cat Naps by my son

2011-08-31T14:48:00.001-05:00

For those of you who follow me, you know that I've been raw---or at least high raw, since that fateful day 4 months and 4 years ago. I have seen my share ups and downs since then. Overall though I AM so much healthier than I was back when.

Currently I'm probably above average health and below average physical shape (not withstanding my chronic diseases). I weigh 170 and have been within 3 pounds of this weight for 3-4 months. I'm not upset with my weight so much as I am upset with the lack of physical shape I'm in. I've become very, well, lets just say-soft. You are probably thinking I should just exercise more. I'd love to. I'd love to be able to do just that. But that's where my troubles are.

You see, even though I've been a very good---though not perfect raw vegan my rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia has gotten worse this year. The pain I experience everyday, every minute has multiplied. I honestly can't tell you if it's worse than before I went raw or not. I know my feet aren't as bad now as they were before I went raw. Then again, everything else is just worse overall.

These days I can't do as much as I used to. And I mean that I CAN'T. And the days that I can do something then it takes me days longer to recover than a normal person. For example; two years ago I was still doing some yoga and all was pretty good. At that time I was given a yoga DVD. I tried it once and tossed it in the back of my cabinet because it did nothing for me. It wasn't enough, it was for old people or sick people or something. A month ago I tried that same DVD. Though I finished it, it was painful and took me nearly a week to recover from-and caused a flare.

People that don't have auto-immune disease will never understand the words "can't"and "pain". I never thought I would either. Here is a link to the Spoon Theory, a story that finally helped my husband and kids to understand approximately what I go through everyday. Why some days mom can drive to town, shop all over and still have energy to cook a full dinner and clean up after... and why some days all I can do is take care of myself. I was humbled by my youngest son just yesterday. As we were driving home from football practice he said I looked like I was feeling pretty good. I said that, yes, I was because I'd broke down and taken a nap. (I've always loved naps but they seem so indulgent and I'm always worried they will mess up my already not so terrific sleep patterns.) He asked if naps "refilled" my spoon jar. I told him I hadn't thought of it that way before but I guess they did. Then he looked at me like I was crazy (which we all know I am) and said, "then why don't you take naps everyday?" Excellent question my dear!

So.... I'm off to take my afternoon cat nap. Here is Lightning our 13 year old black Siamese. Long story short. I took my then 4 year old son to get a kitten for his birthday. A friend of a friend had a litter of blue point siames kittens and I'd had loved my Mother Cat who was a blue point when I was a child. When we got there he went straight for the only solid black kitten of the litter. I still had to pay full price for her though. Turned out to be a perfect choice as she is an awesome kitty.

My Morning Ritual

2011-08-22T13:35:00.000-05:00

For the past couple weeks I've been taking mega doses of Vitamin C powder to help with healing my body and boosting my immune system. Here and here and here are some of my favorite links about vitamin C mega dosing. And don't forget Andrew Saul's information about mega dosing here.

Recently I've also added food grade diatomaceous earth too. I've read here and here about what it is and all it's benefits.

My TWICE daily drink consists of :

1 and 1/2 tsp (6.76 grams) powdered Vitamin C
1/4 tsp MSM (methylsulfonyl methane organic sulfur) Benefits of MSM here.
1 heaping tsp diatomaceous earth
1/2 tsp baking soda to make everything bubbly and easier to drink
plus it takes the bite out of the vitamin C

All of the above ingredients, except for the baking soda, helps detoxify the body, reduce inflammation, boost immunity, help with joints and arthritis.... really the list of benefits just goes on and on. Try them for yourself, you won't be disappointed. Besides, what do you have to lose other than illness and poor health.

Diatomaceous Earth - Isn't it beautiful!

2011-08-22T13:01:00.002-05:00

I do think my current blog "look" does look like me, feels like me. But I just found this and I soooo want to change my blog. There are many free backgrounds to choose from but this is my favorite. Check out these free blog backgrounds at Itkupilli-CuteNCool.

I want to be a Pin Up Girl

2011-08-21T18:52:00.000-05:00

I want to be a Pin Up Girl.

Seriously.

I love the clothes. I love the attitude.

And I definitely have the body. Big hips, nice breasts, small waist... I could do it!

But I've spent my whole life in jeans and t-shirts. Maybe the occasional hippie style blouse or multi pattern skirt. Maybe some tie-die here and there. Most people would consider me more Cowgirl-Hippie than Cowgirl-Pin Up. I like wearing make-up and dressing up but I also really enjoy not wearing make-up or doing my hair. Like today, I'm wearing jeans, t-shirt, flip flops, not a drop of make-up (I even forgot moisturizer) and I think I ran a brush through my hair this morning. The thought of doing all the work and putting that much thought into what I'm wearing would more thank likely exhaust me. But it sure would be fun.

Okay, maybe I'm not meant to be a Pin Up in this life. But maybe the next one...

Here's a couple links devoted to the Pin Up Girl Lifestyle.
Aubrey London
Pin Up Girl Clothing
Retro Lovely

Raw Pie Recipe- Preview!

2011-08-12T20:22:00.000-05:00

A long time friend of mine recently started a blog Vintage Violet Mama. As she is a fellow foodie, although not raw, I decided I'd post this recipe in honor of her new blog. The woman is just a little obsessed with lavender which I completely understand as I love it in food and drink as well.

Though there is this one flavor of GT's Organic Raw Kombucha that I just can't help but think tastes like bathwater because it has lavender. Flavor? See photo and caption below.

Once when reading of her cooking escapades with lavender on facebook I got a bit jealous and took to my own kitchen. This was the result of that day. I've tweaked the original into this final simple recipe that will be in my upcoming ebook so think of it as a sneak peak into what lies ahead!

a truly Rawesome!

Lemon Lavender Pie

CRUST

Use your favorite raw crust or wait until my ebook comes out and use my

Vanilla Crunch Crust as seen in the photo.

FILLING

Meat of two young Tahitian coconuts

Juice and zest of one organic lemon

1 C really raw organic cashews, soaked 6 hours

1/2 C Coconut oil (I use Nativa brand)

1 Tbs raw organic vanilla powder

1 Tbs organic Lavender

1/4 C organic raw Honey (or to taste)

dash sea salt

Blend all the above ingredients in a Vita-Mix or similar high power blender till nice and silky smooth. Top with a bit more lavender and zest of another lemon if you wish.

Refrigerate overnight or set in fridge a few hours.

I personally love this pie because of the contrasting crumbly vanilla crust and it's creamy and delicate yet memorable flavor. If using pre-packaged lavender you might need to use more lavender. I've always used fresh dried from my garden so it's pretty potent.


Botanic No. 3, I'm so sorry you taste like cold bathwater!

Results from my doctor's appointment

2011-08-04T19:06:00.000-05:00

On Monday I went to see Janet Keais DO at the Trinity Clinic of Neuroscience in Tyler, Texas. She is a Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine, if you don't know what DO stands for. It was actually recommended by a rheumatologist out of Dallas that I find a DO because of my lifestyle choice to remain drug free. I choose Dr. Keais because she has a Masters in Nutrition and was a licensed massage therapist for five years before going to medical school.

I was not disappointed in her!


www.empi.com TENS Pain Management System

Though I'm not positive yet about how our personalities are going to mesh, I am feeling pretty positive about her treatment plan. As a doctor that focuses on physical medicine and rehab, Dr. Keais did some manipulations on my neck, back and hips. Then she taught me some stretches and prescribed water physical therapy twice a week for a month. She also prescribed a TENS unit. I will go back in a month and see how all this works for me.

The manipulations worked wonders on my fibromyalgia and the stretches I believe will help as well. The TENS unit also helps really well with the fibro but does nothing for the RA. Actually nothing she did or prescribed has helped with the RA. Though, to be fair, she did recommend I start seeing a rheumatologist again at least track the progression of the disease. I'm going to call tomorrow to see if I can get in to see Heidi Schneider, MD at the Trinity Clinic of Arthritis and Rheumatology.

I'll let you know how the physical therapy goes. I've had pt only twice before in my life and both times I was in my late teens and early 20's so it's been just a few years. Not to mention those were both for accidents and personally I think I'm in much more overall pain now than I was then. We'll see. We are hoping to get my loss of motion back to normal and get me more active. Crossing my fingers I don't wimp out.

Coming Soon!

2011-07-27T19:14:00.000-05:00

Even before I became a raw vegan I loved making up my own recipes. There is something very zen about starting with a simple base, whether that is chicken or zucchini, and just throwing whatever feels good into the mix to see what comes out. Maybe it's my artistic side coming out in my food preparation. Either way I would have to say that 95% of my cooking is done without a cookbook.

My husband loves to say that I can't make anything good twice because I never write it down. Well, for their food that may actually be true. However, from the moment I started on this living foods journey I started writing everything down. Possibly because many of the first recipes I found on the internet were just disgusting. Really, who wants to eat raw cauliflower blended into fake mashed potatoes? Seriously, there is nothing you can do to that white lumpy stuff to make it into a comfort food such as cheesy garlic mashed taters.

After 4 years of being high raw I've accumulated a notebook full of recipes and I've shared many of these on this blog over the years too. Many people, mostly relatives and close friends have asked why I haven't written a raw recipe book. Why? Hum.... lazy comes to mind at first but no, that's not the reason. Actually I think it's because I'm afraid no one will like or appreciate my recipes. That and I have no education in food or nutrition so how could I possibly be qualified to write a cookbook? So I've kept the majority of my recipes to myself.

A few weeks ago I bought a living foods recipe e-book from a semi well known raw chef. I've had time to try out more than half the recipes and I've got to be honest.... I'm disappointed---again. Many of my recipes are much, much better than that.

I've found over the years that raw recipes basically fall into two categories. Those that are terribly difficult with twenty plus ingredients and some of you won't even be able to find in some major cities. Then there are those that have three ingredients and are just a repeat of ten other raw recipes that you can find anywhere on the internet. Why can't I find delicious and manageable living food recipes? Hum? I guess that's because they are all in my notebook waiting to be published.

I've actually started typing and laying it out (sure helps that I know a graphic designer, lol!) and I have plans on selling it as an e-book. I have no idea how much I will sell it for, that will depend on how many recipes actually end up in it. At the moment I have 40 plus recipes that are ready to go but I have another dozen or so that I'm in the process of tweaking. Then again, I'm always making stuff up so who knows how many will end up in the finished product. I'm giving myself a time line too. I want it finished and available for purchase by November 1, 2011. The approximate categories will be Juices, Smoothies and Teas, Salads and Sides, Soups, Entrees, Sauces, Dressings and Dips, and Desserts.

Let me know what you think! Or if you have any SAD recipes you want turned into raw recipes.

Food IS the Cure

2011-07-25T16:51:00.000-05:00

Zucchini w/cashew sauce, wilted spinach. Raw cacao bites and Rosemary tea.

Food IS the Cure.

That's a pretty bold statement, isn't it?

Most people today will totally disagree with my statement... and trust me when I say they will disagree very LOUDLY. I believe that the majority of people on this planet depend on doctors and pharmaceuticals to cure them of what ails them. I'm completely guessing here, but I think that the next largest group of people believe that their cure will come from their religion or their god. Then, maybe, you will find my group, those of us that believe food is the cure for the majority if not all of both physical and emotional issues.

When I first started searching for 'natural cures' I really didn't have any preexisting theory of what a natural cure might actually be. I had no idea I'd find the answer in food. The idea of herbs being made into tonics wasn't too far out of my thoughts but actual food hadn't come to mind. Though I've always been a bit of a hippie/nature lover I can't explain to you why the answer of healing simply from food hadn't been obvious to me in the first place. I guess growing up in the 80's with burgers, Doritos and Coke as my main 'food' overshadowed my soul's innate knowledge of the curative power of living foods.

From my initial internet research I've found and read many books on how to achieve good health and find natural healing over the past 7 years. Some of them I've read all the way through. Many I've read several times over. Others I've only skimmed through yet still managed to get quite a bit of information from. Thanks to that teacher in middle school who taught me to speed read. Though that skill has been both a curse and a blessing as I can take in massive amounts of information quickly and retain it but I also have never been able to sit and enjoy a novel as they are supposed to be read. But I'm off subject...

The books and website I've read have mostly been authors interested in nutrition as the medicine of choice. I've read many of the raw food gurus: Dr. Max Gerson and the Gerson Institute, Paul Nison, Matt Monarch and Angela Stokes-Monarch, David Wolfe, Dr. Douglas Graham and Dr. Gabriel Cousens just to name a few. I have personally found these people exceptional in the field of health and nutrition and truly inspiring. However, it is still Andrew W. Saul that is my all time favorite. If you haven't been to his website-GO NOW! I've owned and given away most of his books and now refer to his website at least monthly if not more. Maybe it's because he was the first I found when looking for a cure for my rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. Maybe it is because his teaching and information is just easy to follow not to mention that I love his stories of previous patients and just exactly how his recommendations helped them. It's always great to read about others positive experiences. For me, Andrew Saul is responsible for not only completely changing the way I look at food and live my life but he also turned me onto other, in my opinion, geniuses in the health world, namely those I mentioned above and, in my opinion one of the all time greatest, Linus Pauling. I don't know if I ever would have found the book How to Live Longer and Feel Better by Linus Pauling if not for Andrew W. Saul.

In Pauling's book his first chapter is short and sweet, Good Nutrition for a Good Life. Yes, he says, it really can be that simple. The rest of the book explains exactly how to go about this but essentially it really is that simple-good nutation does equal a good life. There is a short and sweet 12 step list in his second chapter that really makes his theory easy to follow. I'm not going to give you the specifics, you can buy his book here, but here are the basics:

Take Vitamin C
Take Vitamin E
Take the B Vitamins
Take Vitamin A
Get your Minerals everyday
Don't eat Sugar
Eat natural unprocessed foods in moderation
Drink Water
Exercise in moderation
Limit alcohol
Don't smoke cigarettes
Be Happy

He does not mention the use of chemicals or pharmaceuticals, nothing outrageous or difficult to follow, and definitely nothing that is going to cause you more harm or give you side-effects other than the side-effect of good health.

That's what I love about healing naturally with nutritian--- "food". It really is simple once you learn the basics. There are no side effects, unless you have an allergy to a specific food. Nothing is going to harm you or make you more sick, again, unless you have an allergy. Nothing, in it's natural state, is going to give you cancer (the pesticides and waxes might however). Everything is and has been found on this planet for thousands of years.

As a person with more than one unseen and chronic auto-immune disease I often find comfort in being a member of online support groups. Yet at the same time I am but an itty bitty minority in these groups. There seems to be only a handful of people out there that are attempting to live with and cure their diseases naturally and even some of those still take medication. To be honest, I don't personally know of anyone who is completely drug free like myself. If you are like me or know someone like me... please comment or email me, I'd love to hear from you!

I think my next blog post should be about why I became so anti-pharma.... Stay tuned, I'm going to have some real personal opinions in that coming post!

I never said I was perfect!

2011-07-24T16:11:00.002-05:00

The Raw Cowgirl on a typical day

2011-07-10T19:11:00.002-05:00

Thanks to an email from a follower I've decided to run you thru a typical day in my life. Well, the interesting parts that have to do with raw foods and how I live to control my rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia without prescription medications. I've included tons of links on this post so click away and you'll learn all sorts of new stuff!

But first let me say that this is what I've learned works (most of the time) for me. I'm constantly changing and tweaking and sometimes quitting altogether. My way of life is a work in progress. What worked for me 3 years ago doesn't work for me today. I believe our bodies are constantly changing and therefor the way we treat them needs to change and evolve as well.

Also I'm certainly not a doctor nor do I have any education in the nutrition or medical field. (I went to college for fine art and art history for heaven's sake!) Please read the following as entertainment only and not a recommendation for anyone else to live.

Wake Up 1st time
I'm usually awoken around 5:30 or 6 am to let the dogs out. They are used to this time because when school is on that's when the boys wake up... certainly not my choice!

While waiting for the dogs I set up my "upside-down" coffee to brew. I use 2 Tbs organic coffee to 2 Cups boiling water and just let it sit and brew on counter till later. Then I go back to bed.

Wake Up for the day

First thing is that I eat a small bit of fruit like an apple or a mango. I do this for a couple reasons, first I'm a little hypoglycemic and second it wakes up the digestive system for my coffee enema later.
Then I have my morning alkalizing shot. It's 1 Cup water, 1/4 tsp MSM powder, 1Tbs Spirinilla or other green superfood, an the juice of one lemon. I often put in a couple drops of flower essences (crab apple helps you feel better about yourself and accepting yourself as the way your are and mustard which supposedly makes you joyful) and a dropper of colloidal silver if I'm feeling like I might come down with a cold or the kids are sick.
Now it's time for Upside-down Coffee from the Gerson Institute. I strain the coffee grounds from the 2 cups I set out earlier and add 2 more cups of hot spring water for a total of 4 Cups which I put in my stainless steel enema bucket that I got here. I like to wait and "go" to the bathroom before the enema so my colon is mostly cleaned out. I suggest you get the Gerson book and follow their directions if you are interested but as I said I'm going to tell you how I do it. So, I take in about half the coffee and hold for 12-15 minutes... expel and do the second half the same way. If I'm running short on time I do the whole thing but trust me you have to build up to that, lol!
Now, it's finally time for breakfast. I have two standby choices; either a green juice or a smoothie. Green juices help me the most when I'm feeling my worst but of course the smoothies taste better.

It's the green BEAUTIFUL!

Green Juice is usually: handful parsley, handful or two kale or spinach, 1 large or 2 cucumber or zucchini, 1 whole lemon or lime, no peel, 1-2" ginger root, peeled, a few sprigs mint optional, half a fennel bulb and greens if I have one around, and either an apple or pear. I took this from Dan McDonald "The Life Regenerator"
Smoothies are all over the place. Sometimes I make a raw cacao smoothie, sometimes fruit like mango or pineapple, sometimes just banana and vanilla. Occasionally I make green smoothies if I know my body needs the greens but I don't want a juice. But I almost always add Maca and Lucuma powder. Other ingredients I love in smoothies are chia seeds, hemp, hemp oil, coconut oil, green powders, mesquite powder, raw vanilla powder, MSM, etc.

Lunch

Orange Rosemary Pecan Salad

I usually have a big salad. Ok, it's more accurately described as huge. It's most often just mixed spring lettuce or arugula or spinach and or all or just one. I seldom put anything in it. Maybe an orange, strawberries or an apple, maybe hemp seed or nuts, but thats all. I never put in tomatoes or peppers because they are BAD BAD BAD for me. My dressing is almost always a variation of an oil and an acid. Olive oil or an avocado blended with citrus juice or apple cider vinegar. Occasionally I'll put in some coconut aminos or curry powder or other fresh herbs from my garden like basil, cilantro, etc. I NEVER use packaged dressings. Ever. They are full of sugar and chemicals - all bad.
After lunch I take my vitamins: Kava Kava, Boswella, Bio E with Selenium, Guggul, Relora (Now brand) and DHEA.

During the Day

Everyday I drink several glasses of authentic fresh from the ground spring water.
I also love Kombucha and try to have a half or full bottle everyday. Favorite flavors are Guava and Mango. I want to grow my own but I just haven't gotten around to learning how yet. Lots of healing properties in kombucha read about some here and here. I should mention that I don't drink anything - and I mean nothing other than water, kombucha, juices and smoothies I make myself, or herbal teas.
Herbal Teas: Here are a list of the herbs use all the time: Horsetail, Pau d'Arco, Cat's Claw, Nettle, Rosemary, Spearmint and Chamomile. This is my favorite herb book.
I try to get at least a minimum of 30 minutes of sunlight on as much of my skin as possible.
I also try to walk in the evenings or do some light stretching and or yoga depending on how I'm feeling that day. Any movement helps me even if it hurts too. Mostly though I get enough movement taking care of the ranch.
I love rocks, crystals and healing naturally with the earths vibrations. I sleep with a large rose quartz by my head and I often wear or carry different stones. My favorite bracelet I made to help with the RA in my hands is made of amethyst. I recommend these books, The Crystal Bible and Crystal Healing both by Judy Hall.
By the way, I'd like to add here.... sex. Sex is good! It releases endorphins which alleviate pain and come on, it makes you smile and sweat and bring you closer to your loved one :)

Snacks

Lemon "cheese" cake


Berry Raw "cheese"cake

I can't live without BANANAS, APPLES, MANGOS, and ALL THE BERRIES. Seriously, I think I'd die without my fruit :) And I eat a lot, several a day - Keep the doctor away.

I love raw cacao, read Naked Chocolate by David Wolfe. I make lots of raw fudge, cookies, etc. Usually the base is coconut oil and or coconut butter. Read the book the Coconut Oil Miracle by Jon J. Kabara

And I also love my raw pies and cheesecakes- again coconut oi, fruit, nuts... all the good things for you.
There is another snack I almost forgot to mention that I use for pain management... It's a medicinal herb I use to make raw cacao "Magic" bites with. If I lived in Colorado I could get a prescription for it but not where I live... yet. To help us win the fight support here.

Dinner


Kelp Noodles with raw Pesto

Most of the time I eat some sort of "pasta" for dinner. I love raw kelp noodles but also use cucumbers or zucchini spirilized and topped on a bed of lettuce or wilted spinach. I like rawfredo sauce or a raw pesto or this peanut sauce by Carmella is awesome.
I also like raw soups in the winter. Especially a warm carrot curry soup like this one. I also love Ann Wigmore's Energy Soup
Boats are a fun way to eat too. Just top lettuce leaves with, well, nearly anything shredded with herbs and or nuts and a dressing of some sort.

Spinach w/Rawfredo noodles


Ann Wigmore's Energy Soup


Beetroot Boats

Before heading to bed
I'm big into Essential Oils and recommend this book. Every night before bed I rub a mixture of oils on the joints that are bothering me, well, okay, all my joints back and neck. The base oil is 2 Tbs apricot kernel but you can use whatever oil you prefer be that almond, grape seed, olive or whatever. Mix into your base 8 drops Chamomile, 10 drops Lavender, 2 drops Peppermint, 8 drops Eucalyptus and 10 drops Rosemary. I usually mix up a large amount good for a week or two at a time. It not only helps relax my joints but helps me sleep sounder.

Well, I hope the trip through my day didn't bore you too much. A little secret though. I'm not perfect, as you know if you've read any of my older posts, so I'm a normal person and I cheat now and then. A glass of wine, a cooked vegetarian egg roll, chips and salsa... But I cheat and then I move on. I go right back to "my way of life" and hopefully I get back to feeling good asap. Life is a journey and I like to take the long way around. Happy trails, Y'all!

Sexuality, Shoes and Auto-Immune Diesease

2011-06-28T20:44:00.000-05:00

For me being a woman has always felt right. I just enjoy being a woman. Guys can't get away with the chameleon like changes women so easily get away with. I can wear jeans, boots and t-shirts (my everyday tomboy self) or dresses and heels (my sexual inner diva) depending on how I feel at the moment. Even the variations in the types of jeans can change my look immensely. Gathering cattle? A size too big plain label Wranglers, low heeled boots and whatever t-shirt I happen to grab over a sports bra. Cowboy bar on a Friday night? Tight, blinged out Big Star jeans, push-up bra, tight low cut shirt and embroidered high heeled boots. Sure, guys have dress and casual clothes too, but lets be honest here, there's not nearly as much transformation for them as there is for women. And I'm not even going into hair and make-up!

When I was in my early to mid 30's, before the symptoms of my diseases showed up, I loved transforming into that sexual woman I described above in the tight jeans and push up bra. I loved seeing my husbands eyes light up when he saw the transformation of his tomboy wife into a sexy wild cat. That, my friends, is one of the trills of being a woman.

I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia just over six years ago now and at one point the only heels left in my closet were the ones from my wedding. Ugly old lady shoes started taking over my closet once the pain became to great to wear anything remotely sexy. Sometimes I'd try to wear heels but when the pain was too great to wear them even a few steps I broke down and threw them all away. At the time I thought seeing them in my closet would be too much of a reminder of what I had lost. However with the loss of those heels I also started losing my sexuality, though I didn't realize it at the time.

Once I went raw and started feeling better I did buy a couple pairs of low heels for special occasions but they were still leaning more towards comfort than to sexual appeal. It's hard to be sexy in clunky Soft Spot granny "heels".

While seeing a therapist and dealing with my depression and feelings of losing who I am to my disease I discovered I'd lost something else too. My sexuality. Sure, I'm still tall, blond, blue-eyed and my husband still thinks I'm beautiful but I had lost my sense of sexuality inside myself. The worst part of this was that I'd just accepted it as something I'd lost to the disease - even though I now realize I didn't have to.

Rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia have a laundry list of symptoms; loss of motion, stiffness, inflammation, joint pain, fatigue, sleep disturbances, memory loss.... the list goes on and on but one symptom that I've yet to find mentioned anywhere is loss of sexuality. Maybe a loss of sex drive but I've never seen loss of sexuality mentioned. Anywhere. That was of my own doing.

The last few months I've consciously started working on my sexuality. It's not as easy as it sounds for someone who had quit thinking of herself in that way years ago. At first I just started simple; a pair of fancy jeans. A couple sexy, tight fitting tops. New underwear, not purchased from a discount store. Those changes did feel good but it wasn't until I started sunbathing this summer that I really started feeling better about myself. Now I don't want to freak everyone out, I'm not getting burnt or spending hours out in the sun, I'm just doing a half hour per side once or twice a week. Once I started seeing my body, in a literally different light, I started loving myself a bit more again. So much so I lost my shyness and even bought my first bikini in ten years.

My first Jessica Simpson heels!

Then last week, while I was walking through a high end department store on my way to the main mall, I spotted a shoe sale. And not just any shoe sale.... a half price Jessica Simpson brand shoe sale! I've always admired her shoes. I've always thought that if I were still normal I'd have a closet full of them. Her shoes are just like her they are sexy, edgy and freakishly dangerous just as I used to be not so long ago. Today though, these are definitely not a shoe for me, especially with my crippled feet. The feet I've described that on bad days feels like they are made of broken glass instead of actual bones.

Maybe all the sun I've exposed myself to lately fried my brain. Maybe my diseases have affected my reasoning. Maybe it was my inner sexual diva, the one that I'd thought was gone forever, who took control of me that day and forced me to buy the coolest shoes I've seen in years. Whatever or whoever it was I'm just glad that I bought them. Who knows if I'll ever have a good enough day to wear them out of the house. That's not the point. The point is that She Is Back! and I'm so glad she is ;-)

Summer gets away from me! and my worst flare EVER

2011-06-27T18:03:00.000-05:00

Wow, How does summer get away from me so fast?

Over Memorial weekend I took my children back to Nebraska to spend time with their grandparents, older brother and my middle son's father and his family. I came home to the ranch alone and have been enjoying my time alone.... mostly.

Overall my high raw has been easy. No chips, bread or cheeses to pull me in with the boys and hubby gone. The few times I'm had anything other than raw was the once I made popcorn on the stove (in just olive oil no microwaved chemical laden popcorn for me!)

I've been juicing, having smoothies, lots of berries and greens and I've been feeling... okay. Just okay. And why is that? I should be feeling amazing right?! Well, as I'm alone, every evening I get lonely. I mean, shoot. I'm out here in the Texas back country, all by myself with a few dogs and the horses. The neighbors I do have don't seem to have much in common with me so we just avoid each other, lol. So, what has been keeping me company? Oh, beer, gin, wine, rum.... I've not been drinking like a crazy person but I am having a small drink every single night. And that has caused.... the two worst flares of my life.

The first one was bad enough I tried to quit drinking. For a day or two. Then on Friday I went to town shopping and had two gin and tonics with lunch. By Friday night I had a fever and the worst flare of my life. Sleep was impossible most nights between my knees, hips and now my neck and spine along with my ribs (?!) have decided to just stop being flexible. I walk all hunched over and can't sit or lay in the same position for very long. And then there is my hands. Both are very bad but after the flare lessened I'm finding my right hand just doesn't want to work as well as it used to. I used to be a near perfect typist (years of working for a lawyer) but now I'm fighting a surprising amount of mistyping from just my right hand. And now I can't seem to open a door. My index finger seems to have taken on a claw like look and seems to have just quit working. Also my pinky tip literally twisted over night.

So, what have I learned this past 30 days? Well, raw foods may cure me but if you're still drinking alcohol, no amount of raw food will counteract the bad. So, I've quit again. Lets hope this time I can keep it to just special occasions. That works best for me.

2011-05-15T18:16:00.002-05:00

Several weeks ago I broke down and purchased Dan "The Man" McDonald's Lose 1 Pound A Day The Healthy Way video. It took it's time to get here and when it eventually came in the mail I then forgot it under a pile of junk mail.

Monday, May 9th, right I wrote my post on depression I found the video hiding under a pile of junk mail on the dining room table. I popped it in my computer and watched, maybe a third of it. Honestly, just the first third. The answer I've been looking for to feeling better was right there in the first ten minutes.

Now, I already knew the answer but I just needed someone like him to remind me, and to remind me in such a positive and caring way. The answer to all my problems; my depression, my weight, and most importantly my disease. Don't eat fat. Just eat fruits and vegetables. End of story. Yes, it's that simple.

The rest of his video, that I have watched, he gives the reasons why, how to go about doing it and many recipes for fat free salad dressings and other meals. I still haven't watched the entire thing and already I was excited and surprisingly.... positive and hopeful.

All of this could be breakfast tomorrow!

So this past Monday evening I quit eating fats, all fats except a bit of avocado blended with cucumber and spinach to use as a dressing on salads. And I've been really, really good! I keep thinking about how happy and positive The Life Regenerator is and it just seemed to rub off on me. And not only have I actually lost SEVEN pounds in, yes, seven days I haven't felt hungry even once. You wouldn't believe what I've been eating. Breakfast one morning I had 4 bananas blended with fresh coconut water and 3 dates. One day I was in town running errands I ate a box each of blackberries and raspberries and 2 apricots. For dinner tonight I just had 2 large cucumbers shredded in my Oster with 2 carrots and 3 celery then topped with a third of a new dressing I just made. The dressing was one cucumber, 1 avocado, 2 limes and 1 lemon. I think it needs something else, maybe basil and garlic or possibly ginger root. I've been eating three meals a day almost every day. I'm eating a larger amount of food yet losing weight. And I'm feeling better! Oh, there have been nights this past week that my knees, back and neck hurt so bad I had to take a few Aleve. I think it's because I'm detoxing again. At least that's what I'm hoping for. I'll let you know how the next couple weeks go. I'm hoping to lose enough to fit in my clothes from two summers ago. I don't even care what that weight is as long as I can wear all the clothes in my closet.

After I lose the weight I will start bringing some fats back into my diet. Good fats like coconut, avocado, hemp, hemp seed oil and other oils. I'm not sure about olive oil though. I'm thinking I became so dependent on it as a salad dressing I couldn't eat a salad with just lemon juice anymore. I don't want to get to that point again so we'll see how I feel about olive oil.

A New DIAGNOSIS!!! sorta

2011-05-14T22:00:00.000-05:00

Okay, it's not actually a new diagnosis.
It's just that I recently received my medical file from my rheumatologist in Fort Collins, Colorado.

I have been planning on finally seeing a RA doctor here in Texas and as there are so many in my area I figured I'd just take my file to each one for them to review instead of having my old doc fax the file to numerous new docs. I plan on 'interviewing' them to see if they really fit my needs of an actual medical doctor but one that accepts my no pharma lifestyle, just like my previous doctor in Colorado. So I called and my medical records were mailed to me.

Upon casually scanning them it became quickly apparent that the term 'rheumatoid arthritis' was missing from my file. Then anxiety set in. Do I even have RA? Have I thought all these years I have it and I actually don't? What do I have if I don't have RA? And worse yet, Is this all in my HEAD?! In my memory I thought I was told I had blood negative rheumatoid arthritis but I was led to believe it was the same thing regular RA.

After tearing my file apart I finally found my actual diagnosis:
'seronegative inflammatory auto-immune disease with coexisting fibromyalgia'

Ok...... that's interesting and slightly intimidating but it does sound more like what I thought. Whew!

And then I found this little tidbit in the notes following our last visit:
'possible ankylosing spondylitis' 'order HLA-B27' blood test

This is what ankylosing spondylitis does to a person.

Now that is new. I've never even heard of that one. And, as I moved to Texas almost immediately after that last appointment I never went for that blood test.

So it seems that I do, basically have a form of RA, though possibly milder than typical RA. It depends on what website you read. And this ankylosing spondylitis thing, well, from what I've read on the internet it affects more men than women 3:1 so there is hope there. Then again, my diagnosis of (lets call it SA) is also more common in men than women 2:1.

Looks like everything I do in my life, intentional and unintentional, is uncommon.

I have high hopes I don't have this nasty looking disease. I believe it's entirely possible my lifelong back pain is just that, plain old normal back pain of a klutzy tall girl with bad eyesight (15/20 now thanks to lasik). Then again, I've been complaining of back and neck pain my entire life. When I was a child I was taken to all sorts of specialists and eventually told I had mild Scoliosis. I even wore a back brace on and off for awhile but I'm sure my parents couldn't keep in on me too long. I remember I could take it off myself and often did when they weren't looking. (Yes, I've always been trouble :) So maybe my backpain and stiffness is scoliosis, maybe it's ankylosing spondylitis, maybe it's just the SA. Either way, I've got to find out or my very vibrant imagination will get the better of me.

I've been planning on heading back to Nebraska for a visit this summer. Yesterday I was wondering how I'm ever going to find a doctor that accepts my beliefs yet will still 'treat' me.

My previous doctor in Fort Collins was perfect. He actually was the first person to recommend changing my diet as he and his doctor wife are both vegetarians. When I told him I'd found Andrew Saul's book, Fire Your Doctor, he laughed and agreed it was a great book and he'd read it several times himself.

So, even though I'd just received my medical file from my previous doctor, I called up his office and asked if I could get in to see him while I was in the area for a visit. Sure enough, I was able to get into a canceled appointment. Yea! I figure I can see him at the same time I see my family, about once every six months. It's not perfect but at the same time I won't have to go through the hassle of finding one who agrees with my beliefs and he won't have to start all over trying to re-diagnose me.

I'll update you about my doctor appointment at a later date.

Dealing with Depression -Part One

2011-05-09T17:53:00.045-05:00

It's nearly 2 o'clock and as I'm writing this, using a blue gel pen, half a scrap of paper and steadying it on a book entitled Celtic Gods and Celtic Goddesses, I'm just now soaking in a bath of hot water and peppermint essential oils.

It's a late start to the day, even for me.

If you follow me at all you'll assume this is due to my RA. Intellectually that would make sense, especially because I ended last night with FIVE of my aspiring chef son's coconut oatmeal melt in your mouth deliriously delicious cookies. (Yes, they were THAT good!) Honestly though, my RA isn't half as bad as I expected from that bedtime indulgence.

No. Today my late start is due to something else. Something much deeper and darker than a chronic auto-immune disease. Depression.

In the past I'm mentioned the correlation between chronic disease and depression. Recently I've wrote about how I finally found a therapist and how much I believe she is helping me deal with my depression and it's relation to my disease. Only nonchalantly have I mentioned the other 'stuff' she's helping me deal with. Today, because it seems to have grabbed hold of me, I may be able to delve slightly into the depression that has plagued me my entire life.


Me and Star, my best friend

As a child I was 11-15 years younger than my siblings and therefor grew up without confidants close to my age. My parents were in their 40's when they had me and both worked full-time running their business. We only lived a few miles from town but I seldom spent time at my school friends homes as I was terribly shy and, well, just different than the other girls in my grade. I was quite the tomboy and though our town was small and I knew everyone I still didn't have real true girlfriends. My best friends were my animals and I had a lot of them over the years. As a child I remember I was often sad for no apparent reason and I knew I shouldn't have been. My parents were wealthy enough they could buy me nearly anything I wanted but any happiness I received from the gift quickly wore off. My mother often scolded me for being moody, shy and ungrateful and deep down I kinda agreed with her but didn't know why I was always so sad and I surely didn't know what to do about it.

Do I even look intoxicated? Maybe, maybe not.

Once I was old enough to drive (in rural Nebraska this is 14-15 years old) I quickly found that the right mixture of alcohol and boys kept the sadness away. (I want to clarify, I wasn't a drunk, I just drank enough to be happy as I've always hated being "drunk". It's a loss of control thing and since I'm a control freak, losing control is out of the question.) I was constantly changing boyfriends and going to beer parties trying to find that level of happiness I hardly ever experienced sober and alone. This worked for me all the way through college and even into my first marriage. It was easy for me to drink just enough to numb myself but not enough for anyone to realize what I was doing nearly every day.

The photo to the left is me the day I was accepted as an initiate in the Gamma Phi Beta sorority my freshman year of college. I remember I was super stressed, mostly because I didn't want to join and knew I wasn't the type, but my boyfriend at the time, whom I thought I'd eventually marry, insisted I join his fraternity's sister sorority. I drank my breakfast that morning just to get through what every other girl there thought was going to be a memorable day. I didn't even want to be in college in the first place. I wanted to be at any one of the art schools I'd been accepted to but my parents insisted college was a better future for me. Because I was so unhappy in college instead of art school, and because my boyfriend was a mean drunk and beat me, I spent a good portion of my freshman year slightly numb, yet I got high enough grades I was named on the Dean's List. My sophomore year I smartened up, dumped my boyfriend and moved closer to home and family where I met my husband.

The first couple years of marriage to my first husband was pretty easy, really. I was finally 21 and could use my own legal ID to buy and didn't have to hide my all of drinking anymore. When I was 17 I paid $100 to an acquaintance to steal the driver's license of his girlfriend who could have been my twin and who was already 21. I was never caught though I was carded at bars and liquor stores and even by a few police. I continued to go to college, work part time and drink during the day and then we would relax with a few beers at night or party on the weekends. As far as I know, he never knew I drank during the day. I often quietly accepted cash from my mother to buy clothes or other things a young couple couldn't afford but would spend half of that on vodka I hid from my husband. Then I got pregnant and as any good mother would do, I quit drinking on the spot. I look back on those days and wonder how my first husband stayed with me as long as he did between my pregnant hormonal swings and the depression I couldn't drink away. For the next four and a half years I was either pregnant or breast-feeding. While pregnant with out second child our marriage fell apart and at the time I didn't understand it. Looking back at it though I can see how his seemingly easy going happy wife suddenly turned into a sad version of her former self.

After my divorce at twenty-five I suddenly became too busy being a full-time working mother to be depressed. That and the joy my three beautiful little boys gave me was the best anti-depressant in the world. During those eight single mom years I found my inner Type A personality. I worked hard at my job, was an attentive and loving mother and worked long hours after the children went to bed on my hundred year old (reading between the lines here you'd find the descriptive words severely neglected, abandoned ten years and haunted) Victorian home my sister helped me purchase. I also finally experienced my first true friendship of my life with a woman. Though we are no longer close I credit her for helping me break old family habits to become the mother I wanted to be and am today. Relationships with men were still emotionally difficult and at best were just games to me until I accidentally fell in love with one I picked up at a steakhouse. That man taught me more about the world, myself and my depression than anyone I've yet to meet before or since. After our relationship ended I went back to the games that kept men away from my heart. As far as my drinking went I kept it very much under control around the boys. Occasionally I'd have one glass of wine with dinner but overall, if I was around my children I was very conscious of how my drinking might effect them. On the weekends they were visiting their father and grandparents in another town however, I often started drinking at lunch and continued dosing myself like medication throughout the day, to get myself through the anxiety, depression and loneliness of being without my boys.

A month after 9-11 I met my future husband and in less than a year we were married and living on his ranch in western Nebraska. Though newly married and busy with the job of caring for children, a new husband, horses and a ranch I continued to numb myself whenever I'd feel any sort of unwanted emotions. Which, to be honest was more often than not. It went like this. If I was paying bills, which has always caused me severe anxiety, I'd pop open a beer. While cooking dinner, I'd have a glass or two of wine. If I was contemplating going to my parents, I made myself a cocktail first. If I was cleaning house I'd fix a margaritas. It was never huge amounts but it was all the time. Maybe not everyday but most days. To be the optimistic, happy and easy-going wife I portrayed myself to be, I needed to be numb.

This worked fine for a few years, that is, until I started feeling the pain that my then undiagnosed RA and fibromyalgia was causing. Then I upped my drinking to counteract not only my emotional pain but also the physical. At one point before I became a raw foodist and quit drinking entirely I was up to an entire of bottle of wine... every night.

When I decided to became a raw foodist I attacked it with everything I had. If I was going to do it, I was going to do it right. Perfect, 100% raw foods, no alcohol, no prescriptions and no chemicals on my body or in my hair. And it worked! Not only did the raw foods help relieve my symptoms of my disease they seemed to make me... Happy. The emotional high from eating raw foods was something I'd never expected or experienced before. It was wonderful! Eating raw, staying away from alcohol and being moderately active worked for me physically and emotionally for nearly two years.

Then we moved to Texas and I started falling apart.

To be continued....

2011-05-06T12:50:00.002-05:00

I posted this on Facebook just a few minutes ago and wanted to share it here.

"I'm confused by people who believe in God yet don't trust Him enough to treat themselves with HIS medicinal creations here on Earth and instead fill themselves with chemical poisons created by man."

The reason I wanted to share this is threefold. First, as you all know, I am ANTI PHARMA and happy to be so (maybe that should be my next tattoo?) Second, I try not to discuss religion here. And third, the reason I don't discuss religion is because for the past several years I have been dealing with my own inner turmoil that I may not believe in the God that most American's worship. Yes, to all you believers out there I just admitted that I'm not sure I, Aleta Marie Pearson Lewis, believe in God.

Yes, I believe Jesus was alive, walked on this Earth and died. Do I believe he was the son of the Almighty? I don't know! My first thought is that we are ALL children of a god or gods and goddesses, therefor the statement that Jesus was god's son is accurate. Was he sent here for the purpose of the life that he lead, to supposedly die for our sins? Again, I have to lean towards agreeing, because I believe we are all sent here to live the lives we are living. I am living with RA and controlling it with living foods because I chose that path long before my soul entered into this body.

My problem seems to be with the notion of ONE god over all else. How.... silly that is to me. It's like thinking we are the only beings in the entire galaxy. (Or is it universe? Which is bigger?) There doesn't seem to be any possible way, when you look at the size of the 'sky' that there isn't millions of other kinds of lives and souls out there too. So, why, when there are so many souls out there, can I believe that there is only one god over all of us? I can't. It's impossible for me.

My beliefs are kinda simple. We are all 'living souls' that never die. We live physical lives, multiple times, possibly even on multiple planets or planes. When our physical bodies die we go back to the source where we recuperate and choose where to go next. What lessons do we want to learn or experience next? What loves and losses do we want to feel? What physical or mental issues do we want to learn from? Our 'lives' are all about learning and it never stops. I'm not afraid of death because I know it's only my physical body, my hopefully 100+ year old crippled body, but it's only one piece of my personal, never ending, living soul.

And when I meet up with Jesus again I will love him just as much as I love Budda, Hecate and YOU.

2011-05-06T12:05:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd slip in a short post while I'm waiting for my morning "Upside-down Coffee" to percolate. I'll give you all the details about my morning ritual tomorrow or possibly next week.

It's 11 am and I've only been out of bed an hour. Last night was.... was what? A bastard? A bitch? I'm not sure there is a word for just how bad last night was. Then again, it wasn't so bad that it made my cry or anything and believe me when I say there have been nights in the past 6 years when I've lost my stoic composure when it comes to this nightmare of a disease. Lets just say, it was BAD and leave it at that.


BJ's Brewhouse Dark Sampler

And why was last night so bad you ask?

Simple chemistry.
I ate deep fried avocado egg rolls for lunch and washed it down with not just a light beer, because I don't actually like those pee-water type beers, no, I washed it down with a sampler set of BJ's Brewhouse dark beers.

From lightest to darkest there was: BJ's Jeremiah Red, Nutty Brewnette, BJ's P.M. Porter and Tatouka Stout (the last two were nitrogen infused, Yum!) Notice the beautiful foamy head on the last two. Thick and creamy, Oh My!

I liked them all, especially in comparison to say, Budweiser, but if I had to choose one it would be the BJ's P.M. Porter. It was awesome. Let me repeat that again (in an outrageously high voice with emphasis on the last word), "It was AWESOME!" My second choice, for an everyday beer would be Nutty Brewnette. It wasn't as smooth as the nitrogen infused darker beers however I might actually be able to drink more than one without it kicking my ass. But lets not forget the darkest and most sinful of all, the Tatouka Stout. If you were in the mood for a romantic night curled up next to the fire with your lover and a box of chocolates it would be difficult for me to choose between champagne (possibly my all time favorite alcohol, besides gin and of course dark ales) and that beautifully seductive, smooth and slightly smoky stout.

But I'm getting carried away here.

I was wanting to discuss the effects on my rheumatoid arthritis when I eat and drink poorly but I guess my post went elsewhere. Sure, as you can tell by my gushing review of those wonderful dark beers, I love to eat and drink what most people would consider 'well' or at least above average. Seriously though, in the scheme of things I actually had a small to average sized vegetarian lunch with less than 16 oz of beer and 2 glasses of water. What's so bad about that? For the average person, there is nothing wrong with what I had for lunch yesterday, possibly even healthier than most. For me, well, I just can't eat like that anymore and not pay for it later. It makes me sad.

And yet, here I am, having been diagnosed over 6 years ago with a crippling disease, I am still typing away, still walking (though heels are only for very special occasions) and still complaining about controlling the pain and stiffness through diet yet when people look at me they see a completely normal and healthy 42 year old mother of three gorgeous and empathetic young men.

I guess that's not all bad.

"Cracking" Joints and Rheumatoid Arthritis and... My Admition of Truth

2011-05-02T19:13:00.000-05:00

Alright, okay.... Again, this blog is not about coffee enemas. I'm still trying to figure out how to tell my story about that subject.

What I want to talk about today is a relatively normal habit many people seem to have.

Do you like to "pop" your knuckles? Does someone you know, love or work with constantly "crack" their neck? In the distant past I was known to purposely pop my knuckles on occasion too, not a lot mind you, but occasionally. These days my joints pop, crack and creak from the most minor movements and it's not a relief or enjoyable at all.

One of my children "cracks" his neck daily, sometimes multiple times in the evenings. It drives me crazy. Crazy with worry that he is somehow injuring himself and at the same time nauseous from the thought of the pain that seemingly benign habit would cause me if I were to do it. I feel the same way whenever I see or hear anyone "popping" or "cracking" joints in front of me. I just cringe.

My husband seems to love popping many of his joints but toes are his favorite and he says it feels wonderful. He enjoys it so much that over the years he has been "thoughtful" enough to pop mine, out of habit I'm sure, without bothering to ask. The first few years of our marriage this was just a nuisance and not a big deal. A tad bit of an annoying habit in someone I adore but it is definitely something I can overlook. That was, until I got rheumatoid arthritis. With severe rheumatoid arthritis that originated in the feet, well..... this little "favor" is excruciatingly painful. The last time he unconsciously did this for me I shrieked from the sudden shock and pain, flying off the couch like I was bit by a snake. Once I was able to control my tears I looked over to find him.... what was that look? Frustrated and upset with me? Are you kidding? He was hurt by my so described 'exaggerated' outburst? Really?!

I'd like to think that, over the past SIX years since I've been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, my family has come to understand and accept my disease. Sometimes I think they do. Other times I wonder if they even remember I have it and I believe it's partially my fault that they have. First off, I hardly ever complain. Second, I still attempt to do everything I've always done though now it can be severely painful. That's just the life of a person with RA. Everything is painful now whether it be a bear hug, vacuuming or something requiring serious physical work.

Over the years I've had my moments of believing that I've "cured" the RA. The insanely healthy raw food/living food lifestyle that I've spent the past 4 years trying to stick to in my attempt cure myself, does help. Really, it does! I would highly recommend it to any and all RA sufferers around the world.

But does it really "cure" rheumatoid arthritis? Sadly, I have to admit that it does not. Does it slow it down? I believe that this statement is mostly true, at least in my experience. Does it make you feel better? Yes! Most definitely! Does it lesson the pain? Sometimes, yes but sadly not everyday.

Though I will continue to stick to a 90-100% raw food lifestyle and praise it's benefits I have to admit that I do actually have an incurable and debilitating auto-immune disease. However, I am also able to admit that I have some control over it without the use of prescription drugs by being a living foodist and I'm thrilled with that! The recommended drugs of methotrexate, steroids and other NSAID's actually create so many more side-effects that I'm grateful I'm able to control some of the disease with living foods.

Animals really do know best

2011-04-25T22:54:00.002-05:00

Okay. I know I promised my next post to be all about coffee enemas but it's not. No worries though, I'll get to it, Promise!

I just have to tell you about what happened to me today.

Today I met an incredible young woman.

It all started because I was interviewing for someone to ranch sit while the boys and I go back to Nebraska for a few weeks this spring. I use the term interviewing lightly because I was damn lucky I found one person even slightly interested in taking on the job in the first place.

When this angel of fortune drove up to the ranch she didn't show an ounce of fear when the dogs came running to meet her. She didn't yell at them, scowl or even complain to me when they marked her truck tires.

And that was just the beginning.

Nap time at Dusty Creek Ranch. Duke in front, Ice the cat and Taz on pillow.

The strangest thing happened after that. The dogs didn't even bark at her. She just wasn't intimidated by them and they knew it. They knew instantly that she was like us, one of us, one of the few... A True Animal Lover. But I still wasn't convinced until she came inside and that's when she showed her true colors to me.

She didn't wrinkle her nose at the amount of animal hair floating in the air, disguised as actual bunnies under the table or ground into the carpet. She didn't gag when Lightning the cat jumped onto the kitchen island and proceeded to drink out of the glass of tea I was about to hand her. (I did get her a fresh one.) When Taz took a drink of water and the slimy, watery, glue-like drool that he slung from his jowls landed across her cowboy boots, she just... smiled. When Navada, our nearly white, yellow lab, who is in the middle of spring shedding wouldn't leave her alone and proceeded to rub himself all over her dark bluejeans covering her in millions of white hairs, well, I'm not even sure she noticed (I noticed and was horrified). Even later when Taz, who was quite taken with her by this time, insisted on sitting on the couch with her, looked deep in her eyes and licked her face in one giant, wet and recently hot dog flavored kiss, this young woman just laughed and exclaimed how "precious" he was. Even I haven't ever used the word 'precious' and Taz in the same sentence - and I'm the mom.

The peice de resistance came an hour later after going over all the chores, feeding and medication schedules. She said all was great, she'd be happy to do it and that she had just two questions: Is it okay if she lets the dogs sleep with her and do I mind if she brings her own gun.

Remember that famous quote in the 1996 romantic comedy with Tom Cruise and Renée Zellweger about a sports agent and a single mother? Well, I don't think I'm exaggerating a bit when I say that if my dogs could speak they would have said,
She had them at Hello.

Nightshade plants to RA patients really does equal HELL!

2011-04-21T11:00:00.000-05:00

It's 10:12 am and I'm just, finally, out of bed.

After days and weeks of eating near perfect raw vegan I ate exactly 1 1/2 cups of vegetarian spaghetti with chunk tomatoes and peppers. I love tomatoes and peppers and I loved the taste of that darn spaghetti but they don't love me.

Tomatoes and peppers are part of the Nightshade Family that also includes eggplants and potatoes which all contain a chemical called solanine that makes the vegetables grow at night. Solanine is actually toxic in nature and is found to be a major factor in increasing joint pain and aggravating the synovial fluid in the joints. Since it is the synovial fluid in and around the joint that is becoming inflamed or "attacked" by our autoimmune systems in the first place the whole idea of eating nightshade plants to a person with rheumatoid arthritis it like pouring gasoline on a fire.

Last night I poured gasoline (tomato sauce and peppers) on a smoldering fire (my RA).

This morning I, of course, awoke to my own self made Hell.

When I first awoke at 6 am to fix breakfast for the boys my lower back and attaching ribs were so stiff I just couldn't get out of bed. So I didn't and my boys got themselves off to school. I feel terrible about this but, in truth, they end up doing this about a fourth of the time anyway.

I slept fairly soundly until 9:30 am and then I started evaluating my joints.

Neck: pain worse than normal, pretty darn stiff and the popping sound has come back, damn
Shoulders: left is more painful than right (I awoke on that side) both stiff and I can't roll them this morning
Elbows: Shit, are they really swollen this morning! Damn! Sitting here typing they are unhappy to say the least
Wrists: very stiff and painful but not swollen
Hands: all joints swollen, stiff and of course very, very painful. Right hand index and middle fingers and base thumb joints the worst. Left hand ring, pointer finger and both thumb joints pretty bad.
Upper back between shoulder blades: Eh, sore and stiff but I'll make it though this area is usually fine/normal
Lower back: stiff, stiff, stiff and uber painful. Going to take quite a bit of stretching to loosen that up
Hips: Not painful but stiff as usual. Doesn't seem any worse than normal though
Knees: Painful like I over exercised yesterday on injured knees which I of course didn't do. But that's what it feels like
Ankles: swollen, stiff and walking was painful, creaky and stiff like was wearing athletic tape on them
Feet: not quite as painful as walking on broken glass/bones but very, VERY painful non the less and my toes are super duper stiff.

Weight: 173. I'm sure the salt from the "gasp" canned spaghetti sauce is to blame as I was stuck at 171 for the past 2 weeks before today.

What, exactly is my plan of attack to rid myself of my own demons?

VEGETABLE JUICE, LOTS AND LOTS OF GREEN VEGETABLE JUICE!!! Fruit, a big salad for lunch and more vegetable juice for dinner.
And.... COFFEE ENEMAS. Though I have a coffee enema most days to control pain, today I may need two. I'm brewing my first one now. After lunch I may need another but we'll see. Coffee enemas you ask.... Yes! Amazing for pain relief. I believe they were first discovered in WWI by nurses who ran out of morphine.

You know what? I'm going to write my next post all about COFFEE ENEMAS!

My therapist and Learning to Accept my limitations :(

2011-04-20T20:33:00.001-05:00

I've been seeing a therapist since the first of the year. Basically I had no other choice as I was in possibly the worst depression of my life at the time. It took me just over a month to find a therapist/counselor/psychiatrist that was on board with my "NO MEDICATION" lifestyle. Finding her was a difficult chore all by itself. Now, three and a half months later, I admit that "Yes! I DO feel better!" She really has helped me with my depression, issues and, lets just call it 'all that other crap'.

Part of what she thinks is responsible for my depression and emotional troubles are my issues with my rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. She understands that I don't actually want to 'own' them because I feel that by not 'owning' them, they won't own me by taking over my life. However, she feels that I'm not 'accepting' that I have these chronic autoimmune diseases either. Which I see, from her eyes, it does look like.

My little greenhouse a few weeks ago though it's empty now.

Raised beds several weeks ago. Veggies are all in now!

Lets look at my life. I am entirely in charge of 6 broodmares, 1 stallion, 2 foals, 1 rope horse and 2 young mares that are sorely in need of training to sell and with this herd comes all the ranch duties in addition to all typical house-wifey duties, mommy duties (2 teenage boys, 2 cats and 4 dogs, 2 of which are great danes)... and trying to scrounge up a few graphic design jobs on the side. Then there is my completely out of the ordinary life style choices of living without doctors, pharmaceuticals, growing an organic garden, keeping up a large butterfly garden and eating raw vegan. Oh and lets not forget my ever present need to save the planet by recycling, reusing, re-purposing and refusing to use pesticides or chemicals of any kind in our out of the house- in a borderline tropical type area where bugs get B I G!

So, am I 'accepting my limitations'? Hardly :) or should this be :( I don't rightly know.

Today, in an effort to start 'accepting', I called my old rheumatologist in Fort Collins Colorado and requested my file. I haven't seen him or any other doctor in over 3 years. Yes, that was probably not a terrific idea on my part but we all know I wouldn't have taken the meds if they prescribed them anyway. However, I've decided that due to my, up until now un admitted and frightening loss of range of motion in my hands, wrists, hips, and ankles, I am going see if I can find a doctor that will prescribe physical therapy.

I know, I know. I could just go back to yoga and exercise by myself. That's where the problem arises. I used to love yoga and light exercise but over the past few years I've noticed my joints slowly getting stiffer and stiffer and of course, more painful. When I am out in the pasture fixing fence, working in the garden, etc., and I over exert myself I pay for it for several days after. My joints swell up and the heat and inflammation, once back, take some time to ease, even on an 90-98% raw food lifestyle. So I find I do a little less and a little less and now, here I am, shocked that my right wrist has lost possibly a quarter of it's normal range of motion. I'm not even going to tell you how bad my hips and ankles are, that's just sad.

I'll let you know when I find a doctor and what comes of it!

Update on the Ranch - 2 fillies joined us!

2011-04-17T21:37:00.001-05:00

It's a little late news, but better late than never!

"Charlie Horse" was born on March 10th around 3:30 am to Bridget. Charlie is a gorgeous little BLUE ROAN FILLY!!! I couldn't have wished for more! She is tiny, possibly born a tad bit early but she is awesome non the less and I'm completely in love with her!
The two pictures taken with her mom were of her just hours old. The last picture of her asleep in the hay puts her about 24 hours old. Adorable, isn't she?!

Belle finally had her foal, almost exactly 2 weeks late. She had a beautiful bay filly with a small star. We called her "Lexi Long Legs" for obvious reasons! She was a monster in comparison to little Charlie Horse! In these pictures she is only a few short hours old. If you look close she still has wet patches on her.

I plan on going out tomorrow and taking updated pictures of the little girls as they just over 5 weeks old now and need new photos :)

Natural Hair Dye Experiement

2011-04-17T12:04:00.001-05:00

Ok, I've taken the plunge. But it started more more like dipping my toes in :)

After my last post I made a mixture of ingredients in my house and put them on my hair, letting it set for 2 hours. It did, in the sun at least, give me a tinge of reddish blonde. Nice start but not enough. Here is a picture out in the sun but I really can't tell much of a difference in the mirror.

My first mixture was just cloves, coffee and apple cider vinegar.

Yesterday I mixed up my second batch of homemade hair color.

2 oz cloves
1 oz turmeric
1 C triple or more strength brewed coffee
1 C red wine
8 stems of fresh rosemary from my garden
10 large fresh sage leaves from my garden
And I boiled this for a few hours and then let set overnight on the stove.

This morning I strained the mixture and tested on white paper towel. Very Yellow! Opps! I was worried about the turmeric already and I was right, I probably shouldn't have added it. So to get away from the yellow and go more to the reddish brown I added the following and simmered for an hour:
Another 2 C extremely/triple or more strength (decaf so I don't get the gitters) coffee
Another 1 C stale red wine
Another 1 oz cloves

And still it's too yellow for my taste.

So I broke down and added a box of Cherry Jello-O. Yes, yes I did! The color on the white paper towel is a beautiful auburn. Now I'm simmering it more to reduce amount of liquid. The plan is after it's reduced to half I'll add a Tbs honey, a mashed banana a Tbs olive oil and some corn starch to thicken it so it stays in my hair. I plan on letting it set for at least 2 hours.

Here are the before and after pictures!

The before was taken in daylight with a flash indoors and the after was taken at night with a flash indoors. But the wall paint color looks pretty similar so I think it's a fairly accurate photo. You can really see there is more yellow and less white blonde. I'm still not sure what to think about it. Was really hoping for more RED not.... yellow :( I'm sure it's the turmeric. Next time - NO turmeric. I let it set 2 and a half hours but washed it out because the boys were freaking out that my hair looked like an umpalompa - very reddish purple and they were afraid it would be awful. Boy were they surprised when it's was just slightly different and not reddish purple after all.

Tired of dull/dirty blonde and thinking of using HENNA

2011-04-11T16:48:00.000-05:00

Here are a few pictures of me :) First two are with sunlight coming through windows, second is with drapes pulled. You can really see how dark my actual hair is and how much I've highlighted it over the years.... bad bad me. I've always just highlighted the top/ends and left the underneath natural.

So I'm wanting to henna my hair. But my husband doesn't like bright orange hair. He likes more deep red/burgundy. I'm afraid dark anything will be too much... then again I'm afraid of bright orange tips too!

Here is a link to a website I've been studying and if/when I do decide to henna I will buy from them for safety's sake!

Henna for Hair

How To Not Feel Deprived On Your Diet, Ep331

2011-04-01T20:15:00.000-05:00

Day 7 of my 8 Day Juice Feast and Belle's foal

2011-02-28T12:03:00.001-06:00

My Juice Fast

Wow! Time sure has flown for me this week. My juice feast is going amazing and I feel terrific. Truly, my only complaint is that I miss chewing food. Okay, maybe I miss the taste of food too :) Green juices are not always wonderful tasting, no matter what you do to them and they are often icky brown (due to mixing greens with carrots or beets). When juicing one has to be very careful of the amount of sugars they are drinking. All root vegetables, and of course fruits, are naturally high in sugars. Yet, you often need carrots, apples or other fruits to sweeten up an otherwise nasty or dirty (beets-and yes, I peel them first) tasting healthy for you juice.

During other juice fasts I've only juiced what I wanted to drink at that moment. That meant multiple juicing and cleaning of my Champion juicer. This time I tried something different. Every morning I juice just a freakish amount of vegetables, drinking half for breakfast and the second half for lunch. I drink fresh spring water (not bottled but from an actual spring), herbal teas and coconut water in between my main "meals". Then for dinner I will juice again. A few days I got carried away and had enough for dinner too. Now I know that all juices are best fresh. They have the most enzymes, vitamins and minerals and often taste better. But I get so tired of juicing that I sometimes get lazy and don't juice therefor just drinking water and end up not getting enough nutrients. So, this time, I feel that I am really getting the correct amounts of juice, nutrients, enzymes, vitamins and minerals I really need to heal myself.

And I DO feel it working! My joints feel sooooo much better!!! The swelling in my hands is completely gone and my feet feel pretty darn good even though I've been working outside nearly everyday. I actually mentioned yesterday that I think I could wear high heels again, Yippee!

Here are the benefits that I've noticed so far this past week.

Rheumatoid arthritis: swelling - gone, pain - much improved!
Fibromyalgia: muscle tenderness - much, much improved!
Restless leg: GONE!
Insomnia: GONE! Sleeping like a baby and waking well rested and eager to start the day.

and a drum roll please.......

Weight: 178 pounds down from 185 just a week ago for a loss of 7 pounds! My clothes feel looser, my stomach flatter and my skin looks great.

For those of you who want to know what I've been juicing here is a rough recipe list

Juice One

Parsley (big fistful)

1/2 Fennel bulb including top

whole Lemon

Dandelion (big fistful)

2 Cucumbers

8-10 Carrots

1 small Apples

Mint (6 or so sprigs)

1-2" Ginger root (optional)

Juice Two

Parsley (big fistful)

and/or Dandlion

and/or Spinach

and/or Kale

and/or Romaine Lettuce

1-2 Zuccinni

10-15 Carrots

2 small Apples

2-3" Ginger root

Juice Three

1/2 to full Pineapple

4 - 6 Cups Spinach

2-4" Ginger root

Juice Four

1 Beet

1-2 Cucumber

and/or 1-2 Zucchini

8 Strawberries

5 Lettuce leaves

and/or Kale

1 C Spinach

Parsley (big fistful)

5-8 Carrots (optional)

Juice Five

Parsley (big fistful)

Celery (1/2 a full bunch)

2 Apples

2 big Cucumbers

8-10 Carrots

1 Lemon

Juice Six

Whatever is left in the fridge that I haven't already juiced! I'll try anything, really :)

You will notice I juice Parsley in nearly everything. I never used to, I admit, but I find it not only helps the breath but it really helps with body odor. A big fistful of Parsley and 1 Cucumber juiced is a terrific tonic right before working outside on hot, humid Texas summer days.

Tomorrow is my last day of juicing then I start transitioning by eating light salads, raw soups and fruits. I can't wait! I'll let you know what my first meal is.

On the Ranch

Well, Belle is still pregnant! I was told to expect her foal between the 25th and 28th. Today is the 28th and still, nothing. Oh, she finally has her milk in so I expect it to be any day now. Good news is that I'm hoping since she's a little late it will finally be a stud colt. I will post pictures the moment I have them.

And, as a side note. My heart goes out to everyone in West Texas with all the fires and the pileup on the interstate. Grass fires, all fires, seem like they'd be terrifying. Thankfully I've never dealt with one personally. I've heard of some ranches losing livestock. Which, I know in the scheme of things isn't as important as the human lives lost but still, as you all know, I'm an animal person. People may be in accidents but we put ourselves out there. Livestock aren't given a choice. We fence them in and they have no way to escape. It's our fault when they are burned alive or drowned for that matter. Sure, I understand that sometimes that happens in the wild too but not in the numbers that it happens to in domesticated animals. May all the lives lost, human and beast, rest in peace.

Starting from the Beginning

2011-02-22T13:44:00.000-06:00

Today I am starting from the Beginning. My beginning. Back where my story, this story, originated. Nearly four years ago my health was a mess and all I wanted was to heal my rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia and lose enough weight to feel good about myself. During my search for a cure I found Andrew W. Saul, PhD, author of Doctor Yourself, Fire Your Doctor and many other awesome books. Here is his website: www.doctoryourself.com

For those of you who have known me for years or have followed my blog, you know that on May 7, 2007 I started following his recommendations for curing arthritis.... And it worked! Within a few short weeks I felt the difference and within months I was off all my medications and had lost 40 pounds. Eventually I lost a total of nearly 80 pounds and was a completely different person, inside and out!

Over the years I forgot about Andrew W. Saul, PhD and his recommendations. I thought I was cured (invincible) and allowed myself the occasional cooked vegetarian meal at restaurants out with my family and co-workers. At first it didn't effect me but eventually I got 'hooked' on cooked vegetarian foods including breads and sugars. Then, as we know, even being a raw foodist became difficult and I ended up here, 40 pounds overweight and all the pain and stiffness of my diseases back in full force.

So, today I am starting all over again. Here is what I like to call Dr. Saul's Magic Cure

Days 1 - 8: Vegetable Juice Fast/Feast- Drink all the vegetable juice you want. Drink it when you're hungry, drink it when you're thirsty. He also recommends drinking a glass of water for every glass of juice. His favorite recipe for juicing is Carrots, Zucchini and Apple. He does allow apple and grape but not orange or any other fruit for these eight days.

Days 9 - 11: Very Light Eating- Transition from juicing to raw foods with fruit, simple salads and more juices.

Days 12 - 21: Raw Food- Eat all the Raw Foods and drink all the Juices you want.

REPEAT - And Life will be good!

Now, here is the most important thing that I learned about following Dr. Saul's recommendations; you MUST REPEAT and CONTINUE. Sure, you can obviously go weeks, months and even years after you've "cured" yourself and still feel good and be healthy but if you just stop... then everything does, eventually, come back.

Oh, and for those of you following me, I currently weigh 184 pounds and woke up super stiff and sore this morning. Yesterday I went to Whole Foods Store in Dallas for a shopping cart full of zucchini, cucumbers, carrots, dandelion greens, parsley, celery, beets, romaine lettuce, ginger root and apples.

This morning I juiced 12 carrots, 1 med. zucchini, 1 big cucumber, handful each of parsley, kale, romaine lettuce, 2 inches ginger root and 2 apples. It's gotten me through half the day and I'll probably juice again at least one more massive amount or two serving sizes.

Back on the Ranch Belle (Miss Doc Otoe Bell) a 2000 AQHA is due with her third foal the end of this week. She was bred to Docs Smart Fox of Fox Crest Farms in Quitman, Texas. He is a sorrel stud out of Champion cutting horse, Smart N Slick. This cross will make for a foal with 19% Doc O'lena AND 19% Doc Bar blood and will have a 50% chance of being gray like her mommy :)

Oh and the thought for the day.... Cowboys aren't easy to love and even harder to hold (but they are, oh, so worth it! :)

Pictures of me Fall 2007 at our ranch in Nebraska

2011-02-20T22:38:00.001-06:00

YouTube, Greenhouse/Gardening and Green Juice

2011-02-20T21:38:00.002-06:00

YouTube UPDATE

I'm still new to this whole YouTube thing. Oh, sure, I've been watching videos forever but I've only just started posting. I posted my first on Monday, February, 14th and I THOUGHT I posted my second video on Thursday, February 17th. I just checked to see if I had any comments and it looks like it didn't load after all. Bummer. I'll load it again tomorrow morning when I'll have faster upload speed. I was planning on doing another video tomorrow morning so maybe I'll just upload them both. We'll see.

Greenhouse / Garden UPDATE

My husband and I put down several layers of black weed block under and around the greenhouse on Friday. Now we just need to decide what to put on top of it. I kinda want pea gravel but then again, I don't want to pay for gravel. We used to own an old gravel pit in Nebraska and I just can't get it through my head that I have no other choice than to BUY gravel when before it was everywhere I looked, for free. I find it weird... I mean totally shocking that here in East Texas not only do I not have gravel, there just doesn't seem to be ROCKS on my property. Not even around the pond. It's just.... strange. Friday we also assembled a nice metal wrack for my seedlings. It was cheaper than buying wood and this way I'll be able to grow many layers of seedlings and WHEATGRASS. YEA!!! Now I want a wheat grass juicer as I don't think my Champion will work very well. I'd tried it years ago but I don't remember it working very well. Seeds for the greenhouse are being purchased and I'll post what I buy soon, promise!

Raw Food / Weight Loss UPDATE

So, you may be wondering how I'm doing being raw. Well, honestly I've been doing pretty well, not 100 % raw as I'd hoped, but acceptable.

Here's a list of my screw-ups the last 3 days:

Friday Dinner: cooked vegan enchilada with rice and black beans, chips and salsa, 3 bites chocolate cake and a glass of white wine

Saturday Lunch: blue cheese dressing on a wedge salad (my mistake, forgot to order without dressing) and a Absolut Berry Acai Sour

Sunday Dinner: 6 thin slices of sun dried tomato polenta (pan fried in organic butter) topped with the tiniest bit of organic goat cheese and fresh spinach

But it wasn't all bad....

Every morning I have a BIG GREEN JUICE and OVERALL I'm eating less calories and less fat everyday. I'm trying to be loving and accepting of myself and my body. I know my taste buds are still re-learning and sometimes I just crave SAD. Sure, my head knows better but the rest of me is still catching up. I'll get there.

Here was this mornings Green Juice!
It was AMAZING!

So, after a week, how much weight have I lost? About 2-3 pounds. Not terrible. I'll take what I can get. I'm being overly impatient with myself because it's starting to get warm here and all my summer clothes are too small. I have to lose at least 10-15 pounds to comfortably wear my "fat" summer clothes.

And how is my Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia? Overall, I believe I am getting better. The swelling in my hands and feet in the mornings really depends on what I ate for dinner and if it was high in salt or not. Yes, salt is bad but I've always been a little of a salt-a-holic. The pain does seem to be tapering off though.

The family went bowling on Friday night and I'm still paying for that two nights later. My right hand and wrist were a mess by the end of the hour and my hip has been... on vacation ever since. I worked on the computer all day today and when I get up I just can't hardly walk. Pretty painful and extremely stiff. Sure, I'm out of shape and that has a lot to do with it, then again, I walk everyday, work on the ranch, etc., so I think it was just the repetitive movement that created the unusually worse joint pain on that one hip. Overall though, I do feel better as a few weeks ago I wouldn't have even gone bowling in the first place!

Wow! I was used as a "Reference" on eHow for building a pit greenhouse

2011-02-15T12:23:00.001-06:00

Crazy! I was just checking out my stats when I noticed I had the most views from an eHow article. How to Build a Pit Greenhouse by eHow When I read the article, at the bottom, the guy actually used me as a reference. Admittedly I did spend close to two years researching pit greenhouses, buying every book and paper I could on the subject and designing my own plans so I guess I was, at one time, pretty darn knowledgeable on the subject.

My new little greenhouse.

Part of me really wishes I'd had the chance to finish that greenhouse but then again, I'm now in Texas where I can garden 8-9 months of the year without a greenhouse. I do actually have a greenhouse now, but it was a little kit purchased from Lowe's for $200 and it's really all that I need here. We just set it up last last week and have yet to install flooring and build the planting boxes and workbench. It's not bad, actually it's very sturdy and is built entirely of powder coated heavy aluminum framing and rip-stop plastic/heavy thread material. I'm not positive on the size, it feels 8x10. I'll post my planter box layout to scale when I'm finished. I know it won't last forever but I have hopes it will last at least 3-5 years.

Oh, and if you're here looking for ideas on PIT GREENHOUSES for Cold Climates, I have several posts on the subject, just click on "pit greenhouse" in the Labels section on the left.

Book Review and Menu for Feb. 15, 2011

2011-02-15T11:59:00.003-06:00

I bought myself a new raw book last night. Though I love Barnes and Noble they often don't carry many raw books, so when they get in a new one, I notice!

Raw Food, A Complete Guide for Every Meal of the Day by Erica Palmcrantz and Irmela Lilja. Erica is a cousin of the well known Jinjee (and Storm) Talifero of The Garden Diet

What I immediately liked about the book was it's beautiful slick and colorful pages. I detest recipe books with a pretty cover hiding ugly monochrome print inside. This book is just beautiful and I'll be proud to own it.

At first glance, from someone who has been part of the raw food community for nearly four years, it's seems awfully basic and more for a beginner. But then pretty pictures drew me in and I ended up reading it cover to cover last night, scanning over the recipes and thoroughly enjoying the little extra interviews thrown in as well. What I found just as appealing as it's photography was it's SIMPLICITY. Nearly every ingredient I either grow myself or can be found at my local grocery store-and that's saying a lot, because I don't have easy access to any co-ops, farmer's markets (this time of year) or Whole Foods. I have several raw recipe books that require a dozen or more ingredients and I hardly ever open them because I know I'll have drive 2 hours to Dallas or order something online just to make one meal. Also, I was thrilled to see that not every recipe called for tomatoes. As I have RA, nightshade plants (tomatoes, peppers, eggplant, potato) contain alkaloids which, for me at least, cause significant pain and swelling within hours. I look forward to working my way through the recipes starting today!

Overall, I'd say that it looks like a great buy. At a retail of only $14.95 you get full glossy color, beautiful photographs, tons of recipes, interviews with several people new to raw food and additional information on the how to's and why's of raw food. I will post later about the results of the recipes.

Here's the Menu for today:

Breakfast

1 C room temp spring water with 1/2 fresh lemon juice

1 Kiwi

(Upside down-coffee... See Gerson Therapy for explanation)

Green Juice: 1 zucchini, 1 lemon, 2 small apples, big handful each: parsley, cilantro and spinach, 1 sprig mint, 1" ginger root

Lunch

2 Sushi Rolls made with untoasted Nori sheets

Filling: asparagus, carrot, avocado, spinach, arugula

Nut "Rice" spread: Brazil nuts, sesame seeds, tahini, miso, curry, turmeric, 1 clove garlic, 1 green onion
Half a Guava Kombucha of GT Dave's

Snack

3 Strawberries and a pint Blueberries with hemp cacao fudge

Dinner

Mango Lassie: banana, mango, hemp seeds, fresh coconut cream, dates, cardamon
(I only got half of this as I shared it with my boys :-)

My First YouTube Video and... ACCOUTABILITY!

2011-02-14T14:17:00.002-06:00

Hello fellow Bloggers! Today IS the first day of the rest of my life!

This morning as I was waiting for my work to come in I decided to catch up on some of my favorite YouTubers. The Life Regenerator (here's his link: The LifeRegenerator ) is one of my favorite raw foodists because he is just so, what’s the word… ALIVE! In the video I watched he encouraged others to video blog for accountability. A terrifying idea as I've been pretty shy my entire life but he did inspire me to finally go on YouTube. So, it's up, I'm out there and here we go!

Follow me here to my YouTube channel: Raw Vegan Cowgirl

As of today, I've decided to start recording what I eat on here instead of in my personal journal. This way, hopefully, I'll have more accountability for what I eat.

Breakfast
Green Juice
1/2 pineapple, 2 cups spinach and 2" ginger root

Snack
small handful of Organic dehydrated Botija olives in herbs (no salt)

Lunch
Kelp Noodle Salad
1 cup Kale, 1 Carrot, 3 green onions, 1 clove garlic, 1" ginger root grated
Dressing: 1 Tbs each of Miso, Tahini, coconut aminos, 2 Tbs lemon juice, 1/8 tsp cayanne

Late Afternoon Snack/Early Dinner
I just got in my order from Raw Food World so to celebrate I made a small batch of fudge dipping sauce for strawberries. Cacao, coconut butter, coconut oil, vanilla seed, spring water, a drizzle of agave and hemp seed.

Guava Kombucha by GT Dave's Kombucha

I'm happy to be back and blogging for you (and me!)

2011-02-13T21:55:00.000-06:00

Blogging. It's like anything else in my life. I'm either addicted to it or I totally leave it by the wayside.

My "rawness" is, unfortunately, very much the same. I'm either 100% raw, healthy, happy and pain free or I'm eating SAD (Standard American Diet), the chronic pain and swelling is ruling (and ruining) my life and I'm seriously depressed. I'm either terrific or a train wreck.

For those of you new to my blog I'll give you a quick run down (but I highly suggest you go to the beginning and read it for yourself). Almost 4 years ago I was in the midst of a nightmare. I was 37 years old and though I had been living with the symptoms for years, had just been diagnosed with severe rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. I still remember my rheumatologist telling me that my disease was one of the fastest acting cases he'd personally diagnosed. He said that I should live my life as much as possible now because he suspected I'd be in a wheelchair by the time I was 45 years old. He sent me home with a fist full of prescriptions that would help with the pain and hopefully slow down the progression of the debilitating disease. For almost a year I did everything my doctor told me to do. I took every pill prescribed and when they started eating my stomach I took even more pills to counteract the ones supposedly helping me. I gained 40 pounds from the steroids, spent $500 a month on the drugs, was either constipated or had diarrhea and was scared out of my mind I'd never be "healthy" again. I'd drink a bottle of wine a night to sleep and a pot of coffee in the mornings to get out of bed. I ate pain pills and sleeping pills like they were candy and I was on the verge of a serious depression.

Then I decided to find myself a cure because what I was doing sure in the hell wasn't helping me. Within months of going 100% RAW I lost those 40 pounds, the swelling went away and most of the pain. In another few months I was off all prescriptions, lost another 30 pounds and was feeling better than I had in literally 10 years. I considered myself "cured" and started blogging about the awesomeness of being raw. After two years of being raw and feeling amazing I thought I was completely cured and didn't need to be so strict. I was working full time at a job where it was near impossible to be raw at so I let myself eat a little of this, a little of that. My new friends and coworkers in Texas didn't know the crippled me before I became raw so they weren't as supportive as my friends and family back home in Nebraska. They were always saying "oh, it won't kill you to eat it" (how wrong they were). For another year I ate approximately 75-100% raw. I started gaining weight but otherwise felt fine. And then my husband transferred to a new job 7 hours away while the boys and I stayed home taking care of the ranch. Things got slowly worse and worse and worse.

For the past 6 months I've been a passenger on a runaway train. It's embarrassing. I can't believe I'm even blogging about it, it's been so hard for me to accept. I've gained 35 pounds, the pain and swelling of the rheumatoid arthritis has come back and even the fibromyalgia sometimes rears it's ugly head. My restless leg syndrome and insomnia bother me every night without fail. My libido crashed and the hot-flashes of early menopause from a hysterectomy 12 years ago hit me multiple times a day. And that's all the good news. The bad news is that I fell into the worse depression I've ever experienced. I really don't want to blog about that now, but I will another day. I will say that I started seeing a therapist and she has been a huge help!

As far as my RAWNESS I managed to go 100% raw for a week the first week of February, I lost 7 pounds and the swelling and pain of the RA went away - PRESTO! Like magic! It was awesome and amazing and beautiful! All was good in the world and I was coming back.

Then my husband transferred back home. Which is awesome in it's own right. My family is all back together and all is good with the world, right? Wrong. I haven't been 100% raw one single day since he came home. I've gained back a couple pounds, the restless leg and insomnia have come back and of course the RA is back.

But I'm going to try again tomorrow, as I have everyday for the past week. Tomorrow though is going to be the day. The day I go raw again and this time stay raw, for life. Though I don't know how realistic that goal really is. Eating raw is a complete life change and it's so difficult when you're by yourself surrounded by a family of SAD eaters. But I'm going to try.

Herbal Anti-Inflamitories and Dreaming of EarthShips

2010-05-06T11:04:00.005-05:00

Help me, I've been sucked into the black hole known as Facebook! Oh, I've been on it for awhile now but recently it's taken over even my postings for here. Friend me if you want, Aleta Lewis, as I am now sometimes posting recipes there for my non-raw friends. And, no, I refuse to "tweet" ;o)

So for breakfast this morning I made a beautiful greenish blue smoothie of mixed greens from my organic garden, blueberries, a nanner and a dash of bee pollen. Yummy!

I followed that with my morning round of herbals. Now, I've always been into herbs but this is different. What I'm currently taking is INSTEAD of the prescribed meds a doc wanted me to take.

After my last post about my neck and knee I broke down and got a doctors appointment. After explaining my history to this new doc and saying several times I DON'T DO DRUGS, she wanted blood tests and some x-rays on my knee and neck. Ok, that I can do. Typical doctor! After nothing showed up on my x-rays and my blood work came back normal she prescribed me anti-inflamitories. I explained, AGAIN, I don't do drugs and she handed me the prescription, said have a nice day and walked out the door like she'd never heard me. At first I thought she was being rude but I really think she just doesn't listen. Especially since I got a call today from a physical therapist wanting to make an appointment for my neck to rehabilitate it for it's "weakness". My neck never had weakness, it is my knee that's weak and painful. DOCTOR YOURSELF PEOPLE THE QUACKS AT THE HOSPITAL ARE ALL STUPID! (Sorry for yelling :)

Back to the Anti-Inflamitories... I figured the doc was partially right about prescribing something for inflammation so, I got on my iphone and googled herbal anti-inflamitories, drove across town to The Granary and bought the following:

Guggul- 2.5% Guggulsterones, 750 mg caps;
Bromelain, 2,400 GDU, 500 mg caps; and
Bowellia yielding 262 mg of Boswellic acids.

I'm trying to take 1 of each 3 times a day but sometimes I only get in twice a day. I've been on them a week and my neck is better and my knee is somewhat better. It IS hard to tell though as I've been sick for the past week with head/chest cold and super achey joints. I'm just now feeling better so I'm hoping I'll be a completely new person this time next week.

Lately I've dreaming of Earthships. The whole Earthship concept goes along with my VERY FIRST POST about living off the grid. No electric, no city water, eat out of your own garden... awe, the thought just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Here's a link to the guru of Earthships, Michael Reynolds All I can say is WOW!

Best Ever Raw Chocolate Shake and our "spring storm"

2010-04-26T12:01:00.003-05:00

Holy Shit! I just made my best Chocolate Shake EVER! :)

ALETA'S BEST CHOCOLATE SHAKE EVER

water of 1 young coconut

5 dates

small handful of each almond, cashew and a little less hemp

1/4 tsp vanilla powder (also from The Raw Food World)

1 tsp Lucuma

2 tsps+ of Truly Raw Cacao Powder

Ice and Viola!

Now.... I don't know if it was just the perfect mix of ingredients or because it was the first time I used "Truly Raw Cacao Powder" from The Raw Food World. Either way.... YUMMY!

On other news - Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I've been quite the mess actually. Yes, I've been pretty damn good with raw but my neck has really giving me severe pain for over a month. It's finally lessened but now my left knee decided to go on vacation. For a week now I've had awful pain above and under my knee cap along with the issue that I can't support my own weight with that leg/knee anymore. Getting up from gardening (or the toilet for that matter) requires me to use pretty much only my right leg muscles as my left knee just can't do it. It's somewhere between too painful and just flat unable to get the job done. I'm a non-doctor type of person but between my neck and my left knee I'm seriously considering it. I just don't know who to go to. I've lived here almost 2 years and never been to one here. I don't know if I should find a family doctor or just go straight to a rheumatologist. Either way I'm not happy about the prospect of dealing with a doctor who wont understand I don't do drugs. I just want to make sure I'm not injuring myself more by continuing to LIVE. Ya know?

Friday night our little ranch was hit by a huge storm. Some locals said it was just winds (of up to 90 mile and hour!) but I grew up in Nebraska and when it sounds like a train is heading your way, you see limbs breaking out of trees, crazy lightning, horses running, the kids trampoline wrapped around a pine... and then it just gone and everything is just a normal spring storm- Well, I say it was a tornado. I had a beautiful maple, at least 75 years old just twisted off at the base. It wasn't like the others around the county where they were pushed down, roots and all. My tree is a splintery mess. I'll take pictures and post later.

Clothing choices, herbal skin creams and homeschooling

2010-04-08T23:45:00.006-05:00

Accomplished a few things today and am feeling pretty good about all of them.

First, I sat down and had a talk with my 12 year old about his homeschooling. We've been having an issue with what he is reading. Sure, he is reading but it's all non-fiction war or military reading. Sure, it's historical but it's not.... Oh, I don't know. I just felt he needed to read something now and then that wasn't so violent. So he's agreed that his military addiction will be considered free time reading and that I can choose the books for his homeschooling. So, for his first book I choose Red Badge of Courage. It's a classic, it will be an easy transition for him and I know he'll like it, plus he'd never heard of it. Then I'm going to have him read Mark Twain. Can you believe that he'd never read Tom Sawyer and he was in 7th grade for heaven's sake! Nearly everyday I'm glad I took him out of public school!

Second, the last several weeks I've been working on an idea I've had for years. I don't want to spill too much I've always been a little more than just "into" herbs (though I don't often write about them here) and I've been wanting to create a few skin care creams and a shampoo replacement. For the past several years I've researched quite a lot for acne for my boys and wrinkle treatment for me. Today I started pricing the organic oils I would need to create my first batches and to start testing. Wish me luck!

And lastly I decided I was going to stop buying clothing - for myself - that wasn't ECO-FRIENDLY. I'm not big into second hand stores... sorry they kinda gross me out, but I've heard of a few in town and several in Dallas that are not what I've typically refused to shop at. But most of all, I want to own clothing that lasts, that doesn't shrink and that are more... me. I looked at one website that advertised hemp clothing and all I can say from viewing that one site is that hemp clothing has made some big leaps in fashion in the last two-three years! Whoo Hoo! Now, if I can just find prices that fit my minuscule budget :(

Oh, and in regards to raw foods - today I made a massive batch of coconut cream! But I'm out of vanilla so I froze it. Then when the vanilla beans get in I can put it through the Champion juicer with the vanilla bean and get something nice.... I'm hoping.

I also ate a fresh organic pear, 3 oranges, a cacao/coconut/cashew smoothie and a huge fresh organic arugala salad with olive oil, lemon juice, honey, a dash of nama shoya and grated ginger root. OMG! Was that ever wonderful!

Anastasia, Eco-Living, Off-grid, etc.

2010-04-07T12:11:00.005-05:00

Yesterday I stopped by Barnes and Noble not really looking for anything in particular but searching out something meaningful. I purchased Anastasia, book 1 of The Ringing Cedars series. I stayed up half the night reading it because I just couldn't put it down.

This morning I looked on Facebook for a group for the book series and sure enough, there were several so I joined the international group. While checking out the groups posts I noticed a group of photos of earth houses.

Which brought me right back to my original post nearly three years ago.

When I first went raw my whole life flipped upside down. Everything about me changed. I not only wanted to be clean inside but I wanted to be outside as well. The first and easiest change was what I used ON my body. I wrote about that yesterday and have remained steadfast in my quest to only put organic or at least natural products on myself. Then the next change was what I was using IN the house. That proved a little more difficult but I eventually got rid of the microwave and changed from chemicals to safer more eco-friendly products to wash everything from our clothes to the toilet. The plan at the time was to eventually convert our solid stick, cement and brick home into a self sufficient ranch with wind energy, a partially below ground greenhouse and other ideas.

Then we changed gears and moved to East Texas. The first issue was that everything cost more here so we were unable to buy a ready to move into ranch and home which would have been the most eco-friendly and fast choice as to not use more materials then change it over like we planned in Nebraska. So we found a 30 acre piece of land with a pond, pasture and some woods. Our second choice was to build a log cabin which we thought would be less expensive due to the number of trees here in the Piney Woods of ETX but again, that was too expensive. Next, we wanted to buy a modular type house but again, not enough money. So we ended up buying a double wide trailer. For the first six months I had headaches from the plastic and chemicals from the cheap building materials. I was miserable. Only lately have I given in to and even become grateful of our 'fate' of living in a trailer house. At least it's a home, right?

Now, I start reading the Ringing Cedars series and thinking suddenly about living closer to nature, living off the grid and becoming self sufficient. In a short, or long-if you're me, time I've gone full circle. Which is both good and bad. Good, because I was hit hard by the same bug that bit me two years ago and I'm suddenly wanting, no-craving, nothing less than living in a self built eco-home. Bad, because my husband just left 3 days ago to live 450 miles away for the next several years to make the money we so desperately need to just get by. Do you suppose that instead of using the money to build the horses barnes and fencing that I could use it to build an eco house? Doubtful as I realize how badly the horses need shelter. They've already lived two full years without shelter and with the young stallions recent attentions to three of our older mares it looks like we will be having foals next spring. My first priority is a barn. But now I'm wondering.... what about an eco-friendly barn? And possibly, what about an eco-barn built WITH a house? Wonder what the zoning laws in Texas are.

Products I use ON my body

2010-04-06T13:11:00.006-05:00

This morning while taking my bath I realized I never talk about the products I use ON my body. I'm always talking about what I put inside it. So today I thought I'd share with you the products I use.

I was a teenager in the 80's and had all that bleached blonde big rocker hair and bold make-up. As I've gotten older I wear less and less.

SKINCARE

CLEANSER/SCRUB: My typical day starts in the shower/bath with my absolute favorite cleanser called "Angels on Bare Skin" by Lush. It's this perfect blend of graininess for exfoliation, the relaxing yet invigorating smell from the lavender and oils for moisture. About once a week I like to use a nice salt scrub to keep my getting older skin glowing. In the past I've used just natural sea

salt but I prefer to use Lush's Ocean Salt when I have the money. That and who doesn't like the idea of using a vodka based salt scrub?

MOISTURIZER: I love coconut butter. I eat it and I slather it from head to toe. Back in dry Western Nebraska I was able to use it year around. However, here in the hot East Texas humidity it's just too oily so I prefer to use Alba Green Tea Eye Gel around my eyes and Burt's Bees Naturally Ageless Day Lotion.

BODY LOTION: Again, coconut butter is the norm but I also love Burt's Bees Radiance Body Lotion because it has natural mica in it giving me this beautiful hint of a sparkle. Not teenage sparkle, just this gorgeous slightly iridescent look that goes just as well with jeans and t-shirts as with ball gowns or business attire.

ARTHRITIS LOTION: Arthritis lotion? What's that you ask. Well, I found it just a year ago and have been using is relig

iously ever since on my hands, wrists, elbows, knees, where ever might be aching. It's called Glucosamine, MSM & Arnica Liposome Lotion by NOW. It does smell so don't use it if you're planning on making a good impression.

SOAP: Ops, almost forgot soap... mainly because I don't really use soap on my body. If I get really dirty I'll use a bar of handmade soap that doesn't have sulfates. I like the oatmeal and coconut butter kinds.

HAIRCARE

Immediately after going raw I tried the "No Poo" method but I just couldn't keep it up. I have pretty crazy hair; 3/4 of it is naturally curly and the top 1/4 is wavy at best. I was a light blonde my whole life but as I get older I get darker and I don't like it so I do "gasp" get it high lightened a few times a year. Hey, I'm still a girl, what can I say :)

I'm currently switching

between two products. I only "wash" my hair once or twice a week and I switch between products. I don't actually use a shampoo or anything that might strip too much moisture from my hair.

• My favorite of the two is Wen by Chaz Dean but it's pretty expensive. Yes, this is from that TV infomercial with Melissa Gilbert of Little House on the Prairie. It's not organic but it is sulfate free and I can actually semi-control my crazy hair.

• The second product I use is Organics Rosemary Mint Conditioner by Noah's Naturals and strangely enough I found it at Walmart. It was marked down to half price so I bought a case of it a few months ago.

• Jells, hairsprays, foams, etc. - I don't use any of it. As I do have crazy hair I will use a dab of coconut butter rubbed thoroughly through my hands then lightly "topped" onto my fly aways.

EVERYTHING ELSE

DEODORANT: When I first went raw in Western Nebraska I quit using deodorant because I found I just didn't smell like I did when I ate meat. Occasionally I'd use a natural salt rock and that was enough. Here in East Texas with the heat and humidity I need something a little stronger-especially in the summer. I'm currently using Nature's Gate Organics Chamomile & Lemon Verbena. It's okay, has a weird feel to it but when I'm outside working or I go to an event it's better than nothing.

TOOTHPASTE: Okay, I'm going to admit something.... I don't often brush. Never have really. I guess I have good teeth. When I DO brush, about 3 times a week, I use either Uncle Harry's All Natural Toothpowder OR Nature's Gate Creme de Anise Natural Toothpaste depending on if I want to taste black licorice or not ;)

PERFUME: Yes, again, I'm still a girl and I occasionally like to smell nice. For the past 3 years I've only used KARMA

solid perfume by Lush Cosmetics. It's ME. Enough said.

MAKE-UP: Yep, it's the girly thing again. When I'm working outside of home or going out I wear make-up but on a typical day I do NOT wear a bit of make-up. But when I do, I ONLY wear bareMinerals with the exception of mascara in which I've been known to use Organic Wear.

This is me today as I'd be found most days, without a stitch of make-up.

Marriage, Over-soaked cashews and looking for an Irish Moss dessert recipe

2010-04-05T11:26:00.004-05:00

It's been B*U*S*Y here since I last posted. My husband switched jobs so was home from last Wednesday until yesterday. We, again, spent a ton of time in the garden, in the pasture finishing up fixing fence and just spending some quality time together. I'm still pretty sore from all the work but rested yesterday mostly on my backside either in the hammock, in front of the computer, tv or fixing meals. We had our big holiday meal Saturday night. The family ate the typical ham, mashed taters and corn casserole while I ate a nice salad and gogi berry raw pie for dessert. Oh, I did eat a bite of my son's molten chocolate cinnamon pots I made for them but was surprised to find it too sweet and the chocolate tasted weird, not at all like raw cacao! Yea, again for the happy raw taste buds!!!

I guess, overall, I feel better. It's a tough call though as I'm now sad because my husband is working 450 miles away and will only be home every other weekend. We don't know how long this will last -years for sure- but the money is so amazing that even with paying for his apartment and living expenses out of town we will still be able to build the garden shed and horse barn this year and buy a used pickup. It will take time but it looks like it will all finally start coming together for us this year. But I will miss him soooo much. I already do and he's only been gone 24 hours.

Because I couldn't sleep last night I ended up sleeping in this morning and it's really put me in a funk. It's almost noon and I'm still in my pj's. I've GOT to go to the store today as I seem to be out of everything. I made myself a carrot, romaine and ginger root juice for a late breakfast as there really wasn't anything else left in the fridge!

Hey, that reminds me I need cashews. I bought a pound the other day, rinsed and soaked it and put it in the fridge to use the next day. The next day came and went and I didn't use it until it was 2-3 days later. I opened the jar and it smelled like... dirty feet. I rinsed and rinsed and they still stank. I was so mad at myself for letting a whole pound of raw organic whole cashews go bad!

I DO have in my fridge a jar of irish moss gel! I rinsed (and rinsed and rinsed!) then soaked 36 hours in the fridge then blended with a little water. I read that now I can keep in fridge as long as 3 weeks before using so I'm looking for my first recipe to try it with. I admit I'm a little scared as I can usually taste anything fishy a mile away and I don't like it one bit. If I make a beautiful expensive dessert and it has the slightest fishy smell or taste I will not be happy. I'll let you know what recipe I decide to use.

25 followers?!

2010-03-31T22:23:00.002-05:00

Holy crap! When did that happen?! And I don't even post that great of stuff. Maybe I should actually attempt a real raw food type blog. Hum... but then I'd just have to pay for therapy. This way I have therapy and a raw blog all rolled up into one nice neat little package.

Thanks for listening! Oh, and for those of you who celebrate... Happy Easter!

Self Sabotage

2010-03-31T21:48:00.003-05:00

Okay, self sabotage. Am I the only person in the world that does this? Doubtful. So, lets talk about this nasty problem I have and for those of you who don't have this issue - great for you!~ But, more about me and what I believe to be the majority of the people out there.

May 7th will be my THREE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF BEING RAW! The first 1.5 years was pretty great. The past 1.5 years has been rough. I've cheated, diverged, ran off track always to come back to raw again because I know that is what I need to be. I feel my best at full raw. My rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia just disappear when I've been perfectly raw for awhile.

I've been pretty damn good lately I'm happy to announce! The occasional steamed broccoli or warmed tortilla is not making me feel the least bit guilty as I know that overall I've been getting cleaner and cleaner with everyday.

Until tonight. Oh, it wasn't that bad, it was just popcorn topped with a little sea salt and agave - okay, so I like kettle corn. But the reason I ate it was for reasons I acknowledge but can't seem to control. I didn't eat it because I was hungry. I didn't eat it because it smelled good. I purposely fixed it to drown my sorrows/worries. And what sorrows am I drowning in gooey sweet and salty popcorn? I'm worried about my RA and Fibro.

The past two weeks my family has been working pretty hard on the ranch. Fencing, fencing and more fencing then gardening, raking, pulling, shoveling, rototilling and more gardening. The exercise feels... sorta good, but not great. Sure, I'm thrilled to be getting off my butt that's been attached to a desk for the last 1.5 years and building up a little muscle again. But it hurts. A lot. And the past two days it's not just my muscles, my joints are flaring. And.... omg, I think the fibro may be also. It's scaring me and making me grumpy to my family because I'm terrified to think I may have set something off. I think my husband just thinks I'm used to sitting at a desk and he knows I want to work off some extra pounds off my, um..... backside so he's pushing me. And I'm sorta grateful because I know I can be a little of a non-physical type person. I'm one of those people who never liked athletics or sports. I like hiking and swimming but organized sports just bore me to tears. And my husband IS the athletic type so he knows that I'm more likely to sit and watch the work so he's pushing because he knows I'll complain to him later that I'm not working enough fat off my a....

But today after working in the garden for several hours not only did my muscles hurt but so did my joints. Then my son gave me a hug congratulating me on finishing a portion of the garden and his hug hurt. I spent this afternoon in a warm bath, sitting on the couch and fixing myself an amazing raw salad and dessert thinking I was imagining it all. Unfortunately, I'm artistic and that means imaginative-so my imagination got the best of me and instead of going to bed crying I fixed popcorn and attempted to drown my worries.

What did I accomplish by this? A serious tummy ache and swollen fingers from the salt. I still feel the same. I'm still worried. I'm still sore and hurting. But now, I feel guilty and sick to my stomach. Self Sabotage. Wonder if they have a pill for that? Lol!!!

My (SAD) homemade potato salad - NOT!

2010-03-22T14:30:00.005-05:00

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. My family came down from Nebraska and Colorado to visit and I just had such a wonderful time with them I was too busy to post. We've lived here almost two years and it was their first trip to see us. Very exciting.

I wasn't especially perfect raw wise while they were here. I drank a few glasses of wine, ate a few smores by the fire, a piece of my father's angel food birthday cake and.... I ate a few bites of my homemade potato salad. Wow, was that a mistake. I was thinking it was mostly potato and didn't take into consideration the amount egg in it along with the mayo. It went down okay but tasted totally different than my memory of it. I asked my husband if I made it wrong or if it always tastes like that. First he thought I'd lost my mind by even tasting it, then he wanted to know if I was going to vomit it back up like the bite of steak I had that one time a few months after I first went raw. I said, no, it was staying down but I was curious about the taste. He said it's exactly the same as I'd made since I met him. It's my mother's recipe and she insisted it was perfect. To me, though, it tasted all..... fake, plastic and the egg whites had this god awful texture I didn't remember. And it was insanely salty. I've always added green olives and the olive juice instead of vinegar with the mayo and mustard and it was like drinking, oh, I don't know... pee. I don't remember any of that. It smelled good, it looked good and everyone in my family hogged it up all the while saying how amazing it was - but to me it just tasted GROSS!

No more potato salad for me! After that experience going back to 100% raw was E-A-S-Y!

And you know what? I'm just fine with that!

Coconuts and DURIAN!

2010-03-11T11:58:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I made my twice monthly trip to the Tyler Asian Emporium. The owner goes to Houston every Wed night to pick up fresh fruit and veggies. Last night I picked up a case (9) of young Tahitian coconut, of which I'll end up freezing half the fruit and water to last longer. While I was perusing through the fresh veggies, most of which I don't recognize, I spotted an unusually large spiky brown thing that looked vaugly familiar. Upon closer examination I realized it was a DURIAN! Frozen, of course, not fresh.... but still, an intact durian.

What a surprise! I had to buy one! I brought it home and left in the fridge overnight. Then this morning I took it out of the fridge and it is sitting on the counter defrosting. I'm not entirely sure when to open it. I've read you should open it when it's still slightly frozen to keep it from going too bad. I've read it will more than likely stink up my house for days.

The interesting part is that my parents and brother are here visiting. My brother has lived all over the world while in the Air Force, several of those years living in the Philippines. He's eaten a little of everything in his lifetime and I thought it was perfect timing because I'm not sure anyone else in the family will be interested in trying it with me. My brother, Roger, was actually a little interested in trying it too.

I plan on opening it later today and I'll have my brother video tape the experience and post it as soon as I can.

I'm sooooo excited!!!!

My Brownie bites and my son's rawness.

2010-03-06T11:00:00.003-06:00

My son has decided as much as he likes raw food he's just not ready to go full out raw. And I'm just fine with that. Sure, I want him to be super-duper healthy.... but I also want him to do it on his own. We are both happy just having him eat my raw in addition to whatever else he eats. He has decided that Doritos taste fake all of the sudden (YEA!!!)

So, this morning I was looking online for a raw cookie recipe that would use up my ton of frozen almond pulp as I just wasn't feeling up coming up with something on my own today.

As I was searching I found a recipe for Chocolate Covered Super Cacao Squares that looked yummy. I started reading the recipe and the cookie part itself is surprisingly similar to my Magic Brownie Bites recipe I posted nearly two years ago. There are some differences, I don't put mushrooms or walnuts in mine but otherwise they are almost exactly the same. Even the how to mix them is nearly identical. And, I never posted that I ever coated mine though I mentioned I might try it someday. It's interesting that I feel slightly upset about this. I know I shouldn't. I'm sure I didn't originate the idea. There have been raw foodists for 30 plus years and I'm sure someone came out with a similar recipe before me. Still.....

Oh, well.

My son's day two of trying raw

2010-03-02T14:05:00.004-06:00

Um, I guess so far so good.

We had an issue just before swim practice. He was super hungry and felt he wouldn't have enough energy so he had a banana, peanut butter and honey sandwich on whole wheat bread. And then after swim he ate the remainder of my raw berry cheesecake.

This morning he had a banana, pineapple, coconut, hemp & white chia seed smoothie. He said that filled him up for hours.

Early lunch snack was an apple and some raw cacao fudge. Personally I put the fudge on a banana but he preferred the apple (yuk!) ;)

Late lunch I fixed, for the first time ever, spaghetti sauce - I LOVED IT AND SO DID HE! I never, in 3 years of being raw, have ever fixed raw spaghetti sauce. I usually stay away from nightshade plants because of my rheumatoid arthritis but I was looking for something that he'd really like and I already had ingredients for. It was nice that I was able to already go out to my herb garden and get some fresh herbs (though no basil). And, I had a small bag of sundried tomatoes I'd hadn't used.

Here is my basic recipe - I made up as I went....

2 large-isth tomatoes
10 or so sun dried tomatoes
1 Tbs or so lemon juice
2-3 Tbs olive oil
a small yellow pepper
2 celery stalks
1/2 - 1 garlic clove
herbs from my garden: mostly oregano, cilantro, thyme and a bit rosemary.
I also picked a small handful of MIZUNA and added to the mixture. I'll add a picture later today.

My son is going RAW with me for 1 WEEK!

2010-03-01T11:26:00.002-06:00

My son is the most active person in the family. Not only from being young and on the city swim team but because it's just his nature. My oldest son is active too but my middle son is more like me, not athletic and with a more quiet nature.

Anyway......

We started homeschooling our youngest, the one that's going to go raw, a few weeks ago and mostly we've just been letting him unwind while doing a lot of reading, internet investigating and watching specials on Animal Planet, the History Channel and the Military Channel.

As of today I'm now working from home and starting a freelance graphics company as well. Not only will I be able to homeschool him better but it will be easier to remain raw - as well as take care of the horses and danes!

So, yesterday as I was making a raw raspberry cheesecake when my 12.5 year old, active, thin, homeschooled, I wanna be a Marine, son tells me he's decided to be 100% raw with me for a week. I was a little surprised though not as much as if it had been one of my two older boys. Eldon has always liked salads and loves my raw pies/cheesecakes/smoothies and he even likes most of the juices. I'm a little worried, not because of the nutrition part because I know he will get more nutrients than eating SAD but I'm worried that now I'm going to actually have to fix more meal type things to feed him. And, as typical for his age, he is always hungry.

So, now I guess I'll be blogging about HIS week raw.

Today is day 1 for Eldon and here is what he's eaten so far:
Breakfast: a piece of raspberry cheesecake and a banana
Morning snack: orange, banana, chia seed, bee pollen, vanilla bean and agave nectar smoothie

Here is the plan for the rest of the day:
Lunch: I think we'll just have a nice lettuce, spinach, celery, cilantro salad with a tomato based dressing. I think I'll add hemp seeds to his for crunchiness
Afternoon snack: some sort of fruit I'm guessing
Early Dinner before swim: I'm thinking I'll make mock zucchini spaghetti
After swim: another piece of cheesecake

I'll let you know how it goes!

Raw Spanish Slaw

2010-02-28T15:46:00.003-06:00

Ok, I hadn't eaten all day as I was still feeling full from yesterday at Raw Bliss. About an hour ago I finally got hungry but just wanted something light so I went out to my just barely up garden and found a few spinach leaves and a ton of cilantro. In the fridge I found 6 cherry tomatoes, celery and cabbage along with carrots (which I've grown tired of since all that juicing). I looked for an avocado but no luck. It's possible this would be even better with a half avocado.

All measurements are approximate as I NEVER measure anything ;)

1 C thinly cut Cabbage
1/4 C thinly cut Spinach
1 thinly sliced Celery against the grain
Fresh Cilantro leaves, whole - I use a lot, maybe just less than 1/4 C
6-10 cherry tomatoes thinly sliced into circles

Marinate the above "slaw" for an hour in:
Juice of 1 big lemon or 1-2 limes
Cayenne pepper to taste
1/2-1 tsp olive oil (though this can be left out)

This is enough for 1 person as a meal or two people as a side.

Saturday at Raw Bliss in Dallas Texas

2010-02-28T09:26:00.003-06:00

The Coconut Kale Enchiladas were AMAZING! I don't think I can say enough great things about them. They really were at the top of all the raw food I've eaten in the past 3 years. And that includes eating at the Raw Spirit Festival in Sedona Arizona back in 2007.

The cheesecake was great also but I was already so full from the enchiladas I couldn't eat it all. I didn't even eat dinner last night and still haven't eaten yet today because I'm still not feeling great from just plain over eating. Plus I think all the nuts in the cheesecake did a little something to my tummy. But the taste, the texture-it was all amazing.

Thank you Chef Miranda!!!

Days 10-14 of my second New Life!

2010-02-27T09:22:00.003-06:00

Ok, I've been a little busy lately but I'll catch you up quickly.

I went a full 10 days on my juice feast but had to break it because I knew we were coming to the Dallas opera on Friday (last) night.

On day 11 I juiced for breakfast, had a small lettuce, tomato, cilantro, pepper and onion salad and for dinner had 2 pieces of raw veggie roll-I just couldn't eat the rest and juiced instead.

Thur, day 12, I made a 1/2 banana, coconut water, and superfoods smoothie, had juice for lunch and a tiny salad and juice for dinner.

Friday, day 13, I juiced, then made small coconut water, 1/2 banana and cacao smoothie (that I gave 1/3 to my son than only drank 1/2 myself for breakfast. For lunch I juiced again then had a small tomato and lettuce salad with lemon juice, a dash of olive oil and 3 drops of nama shoya. Then I didn't have time for dinner as we went to the opera. I had a mimosa and 3 chocolate covered strawberries so I did cheat a little there -but hey, it's the opera and I thought I did great.

This morning there was a Jamba Juice across from our motel so I had a shot of wheatgrass shot, then a smoothie with mango, strawberry, orange, pineapple and had them add a small glass of carrot juice to it. My husband just ate two McGriddles and hashbrowns from McDonalds (Ugh! ;) He says it was delicious. I said mine was too. His reaction: a sarcastic "Really."

Ah, the life of a Raw Cowgirl.

Day 9 Juice Feast & unsure what to think

2010-02-22T06:59:00.003-06:00

Wow, what a long weekend.

Yesterday I was so tired from all the work on my garden Saturday that we just stayed inside cleaning house, doing laundry and hanging out. Well, it was drizzling. My muscles are still sore today. I'm am so terribly out of shape. I hate that. It's what I get for sitting at a desk all day instead of when I didn't have to work and I physically worked on our ranch all day. Weird to say I actually miss scooping chicken and horse poo.

It was nice yesterday to juice whenever I felt like it. I had 2 grapefruit for breakfast, green for early lunch a brown for late lunch and then another brown for a later dinner. Seemed I was always slightly dizzy though. I'm thinking my blood sugar might be starting to get off kilter. I hope not.

Also, when I got on the scale this morning I had gained back 2 lbs??? Why? Because I juiced 2 grapefruit? Or because I use too many carrots or is it the celery/apple juice I'm suddenly addicted to? I'm only drinking a large glass per meal. Or is it because I juiced spinach, carrots and an apple at 8 pm last night and then fell asleep at 9:30?

I couldn't sleep last night either. I kept drifting off only to re-awaken. At one point when I was laying there awake wondering why I was awake I swear someone tapped me on my right thigh four times. It was so real, so physical I thought one of my kids was in the room. Freaked me out. I thought then and still think now that it was a ghost trying to get my attention. Instead of getting up and facing it was I was so terrified I cuddled in with my husband instead. It's been years since I've felt a presence as strong as last night. So much for tapping into the spiritual plane.

So, this morning, off to work I go. I'm going to juice a small zucchini, beet, spinach and an apple, leaving the carrots for lunch. Shoot, maybe I should leave off the apple too. I need to read up on hypoglycemia and juicing. I wish I knew who I loaned my book "Fire Your Doctor" by Andrew Saul to. I guess I'll just have to go to his website after I'm done posting.

Have a great day everyone!

Day Eight and Feelin' Great!

2010-02-21T10:34:00.007-06:00

Today is day 8 of my originally planned 8 day juice feast and not only am I feeling terrific but I've decided to continue for another week.

My rheumatoid arthritis is still hanging on in my hands and feet but the rest of my body is feeling welcome relief. I'd like to say that the rest of my body is completely healed but I can't quite say that... at least not yet. I believe that a complete cure will come again, though more slowly, for my entire body-including my hands and feet, through continued juicing and staying 100% raw. I see that as an Absolute Truth for me now. Autoimmune diseases are nothing to mess with and as much as I want to believe they can go away forever, it's not that they disappear, it's more that they are kept away by a magical force field of GREEN!

I've seen a drastic change in my sleep patterns. I've been a lifelong insomniac. When I went raw originally in 2007 my insomnia disappeared completely. The past 6-9 months it had crept back into my life. The past 4 nights I've fallen asleep easily and awoke refreshed just before my alarm goes off. Two mornings I awoke laying on the same side I fell asleep on!

Lets see, what else has changed....
Oh, yea. Emotions.
This is a good though difficult change. I've experienced so many emotional changes going raw and staying raw for those first two years. Many of them unexplainable and certainly unexpected for me. Reading my old blog posts will prove that, I'm positive.
I experienced more emotional changes this past year when I was only partially raw. I'd describe those changes as feeling edgier, more stressful and more susceptible to anxiety all the while less.... lovable. I realize the 1,100 mile move away from family and friends, the bankruptcy, the major downsize in our home quality and my need to now work full time had a lot to do with that stress and anxiety but I honestly believe that if I'd managed to stay raw during that first year I would have weathered the storm better. I'd also like to note that this past year I'd become measurably less Earth Friendly. Though I knew better in my heart and soul I just didn't seem to care.
In the past week I suddenly started recycling again without any real reason other than I just felt like it. There have been more difficult emotional changes that I don't want to go through just yet. Thinking about that I remember there is a book that I've been wanting called Raw Emotions by Angela Stokes-Monarch.

Oh, and lets not forget I've lost 10 pounds. One-third of the way back to the weight I was when we moved to Texas, one-third of the way back to how great I felt, inside and out, when I was 100% raw.

Ok, now for the good stuff. I came home from work Friday and my hubby and son had built us(me) garden boxes. Yesterday we planted 4 of the 6 3'x3' boxes but first it took us all day to layer our lasagna gardens to prepare them for planting.

The layering went as follows:
Layer 1. Lay 20 sheets of newsprint or 1 layer of brown corrugated cardboard directly on the ground (grass, weeds, cement, whatever). Wet down with water and dust with bone/blood meal. ((A quick note about using Blood/Bone Meal: I'm NOT sure how I feel about this. I know I DON'T like the idea of it, I DON'T like using it and the whole thing makes me slightly uncomfortable.... yet I used it because that is what the garden shop told my husband to use and therefor that is what he bought. I could have, and now with hindsight, should have gone back to the garden center and expressed my preference for something animal friendly. Then again, my husband and boys still eat meat and I'm the one that prepares it for them so I really can't argue this point too much. It's just recently become more of a personal feeling for me.))
Layer 2. Add 2-3 inches of Alfalfa (not hay or grass and then grass and hay will grow but alfalfa will not). This is the Green Layer. Dust again with the bone/blood meal.
Layer 3. Eight inches of brown fall leaves, straw, shredded newspaper. This is called the Brown Layer. Compact with your feet until crushed down at least by half, water down and again dust with bone/blood meal.
Layer 4. This is another Green Layer. We used our entire compost pile of fruit and vegetable scraps, tea bags, (you could use coffee grounds if you have them), seaweed, old horse or cow manure, etc. A good portion of this had not turned to compost yet and was still just looking like a pile of lemon rinds, pineapple tops, etc. This is fine (or at least that's what I was told-I'll let you know!)
Layer 5. We then topped our kitchen compost with 3-4 inches of purchased organic cotton bur compost.

We then simply planted a few purchased seedlings and more seeds then watered heavily. I got to tell you, it was weird digging a whole for some transplanted cilantro and finding a half rotten grapefruit. My husband asked if it will change the taste of the cilantro..... I'll let you know ;)

It's Friday and I'm now on Day 6 of my Juice Fast/Feast

2010-02-19T07:31:00.004-06:00

And OMG! Do I feel TERRIFIC!!!! My joints are feeling better everyday. My outlook is better everyday, I feel light, relaxed and aware. Hum, aware, that's a funny word to use but it's the right word.

I've been drinking apple and celery juice when I come home after work as my little after work tonic and it's been great. I've also recently found that I love pineapple juiced with spinach and a bit of ginger root. Wow, is that tasty! I'm finding I prefer the really green juices or the orange or red juices. After nearly 3 years I still have a hard time drinking the brown juices. Gaack! But I like the taste, so there you go.

Day 4 of my Juice Feast and Starting Over

2010-02-17T07:24:00.005-06:00

Thanks so much for everyone's encouragement! After something like two years of blogging I'm still not sure what to think. I blog for me but I also blog in hopes that my successes and failures somehow help others- but most of the time I don't really believe anyone ever reads me. Lol!

Sunday I woke up with a changed attitude. I was originally worried I would fail after a few days as I have been doing for the past year but this time it's different. I believe my attitude about my health, at least, has truly changed.

I've been oh- SO! good the past 3 days and I can feel the difference physically and emotionally. My joints are already feeling a little better throughout the day though the mornings are still bad. I am more positive about myself, more caring for myself. And, hey - I've even already lost about 4 pounds.

I'm most pleased about my changed attitude toward myself. I'm really trying to be nicer to myself. Instead of being angry at myself for failure I'm trying to encourage myself. I made myself a nice celery and apple juice last night when I first got home from work as a little cocktail instead of the glass of wine I wanted so badly (my new job, the job I thought was my dream job has possibly the worst boss I've ever had in my life - great job/killer boss=STRESS!). After I stepped in the house I knew I needed to unwind, relax and not let myself yell at my family and ususally that glass of wine is what does it for me. But something inside me told me to look in my juicing for life recipe book for something with "cocktail" in the title. I did find one but made one called Waldorf Salad instead. It was just what I needed. Fresh, cooling, relaxing and I felt amazing after. That experience was new for me finding another way to relax without the wine. I told my husband last night I'm thinking of giving up all alcohol for 6 months as I did when I first went raw. Those first six months I felt like another person and I want that feeling again. He thinks I should try for a month first and see how that goes. He may be right but wouldn't it be great to just quit all together?! Then again, I have nothing to share with him and friends anymore other than a glass of wine.

In another life I know I'm a hemp wearing, long haired, Earth loving, hippie type (without the drugs) like so many raw foodists I met in Sedona at the Raw Spirit Festival in 2007. I'd love to be that now! I'd love to live closer to the planet, create and sell my art and be in tune with the universe.

For now, though, I'm going to have to be happy being a cowboy boot, jean wearing, hopeful raw foodist trying to live everyday the best she can for herself and her family. I think I'm going to make a beet, carrot, zucchini juice for breakfast!

starting over

2010-02-14T10:31:00.003-06:00

Most life has been a self imposed roller coaster ride. I'm just not the kind of person to live in the same house for 50 years, married to the same man, doing the same thing day after endless day. I need change and if change isn't a possibility I make the changes myself.

Maybe I'm self sabotaging. Maybe my emotions are ruled by the seasons and every late winter/early spring I, quite frankly, lose my mind. Maybe I'm just a spoiled little girl who when she doesn't get her way she throws a fit or does something drastic.

I read through most of my old posts this morning. As I was doing this I noticed I seem kinda unemotional, which caught me by surprise, until I remembered that I had deleted about a third of my posts a few years back because my mother-in-law found my blog. I know, I know... if I wanted it private I could have taken precautions. I wish now I'd have just left them. It would have helped me to remember my feelings at the time. Becoming raw changed me and I wanted to read about that again.

Texas has changed me. No, that's not true. The state of Texas has not changed me, living in Texas has not changed me.... the circumstances in our lives while living in Texas the past 21 months has changed me. Those circumstances could have happened in Nebraska, or any state, just as easily.

Twenty-one months ago I will be the first to admit I wasn't happy. I was stressed beyond belief by living so close to my aging parents. Their constant involvement in my family life was making me crazy-too crazy. They were draining me if that makes any sense. I needed to run away, from them and from some of the decisions I'd been making personally. That and my husband had recently just "quit" our business, let our employee go and just called the company we contracted with and said we were through. In such a small town in the middle of nowhere Nebraska we had no way to continue making our payments on our ranch let alone the 4 month old $55,000 Dodge pickup my husband couldn't live without and my one year old SUV. There just were no other jobs in that town. I've only been back once since we left and I hear it's even more of a ghost town then it was. It was the town I grew up in and the thought of losing everything so publicly (because there is nothing to do in small town America except gossip and talk badly about people down on their luck-especially those who did it to themselves) - well, I just couldn't do it. So we sold the ranch, for a loss, and moved 1100 miles away. We lost the truck and horse trailer, filed bankruptcy and live in a trailer house. We both work full time for much less money than we ever expected.

Things are tough. Real tough. Every day is a struggle for me. I don't think anyone realizes how much. It's not the same for my husband, he has doing the same thing everyday for the past 8 years. Driving a truck hauling oil. Sure, he'd like to find something else but he refuses to look. And, personally, I don't think he ever will. This man, for the nearly 8 years we have been married, will only allow me to pack one of two kinds of sandwiches for his lunch. Peanut butter and jelly or ham with mustard and pepperjack cheese. No turkey, no cheddar, no lettuce, no mayo - nothing different or he literally will go hungry. Need I say more? Me, on the other hand, I have a hard time eating the same thing twice in a week and if I do, it's going to have a different sauce or something.

I don't know what I'm writing anymore.... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm a failure. Maybe I can blame it on the circumstances of the move, my lifelong poor choices, my lack of faith in a god or maybe it's just me. Crazy, chronically depressed me.

Either way I've failed.

I have not been 100% for the past year (shit some months I've been lucky to be 50%) and it's made it's mark on me. Maybe people without autoimmune diseases can live well on only 75% raw but I can't. My rheumatoid arthritis is back, and has been, for months and it's getting worse everyday. Last night I couldn't get off the couch without a hand from my son because my hip joints had turned to fresh cement. (That's my best description of what RA feels like. Pretend the fluid in your joints are replaced with fresh cement, the little pebbles get caught in the joints-that's the pain part you have to break through yet the longer you sit the more likely you won't ever be able to get up yet because you know the cement is going to cure.) And besides the RA lets not forget the wonderful fact that I've gained something like 25-30 pounds. Not only bad on my joints carrying around this extra weight again but a killer on my self-esteem. Basically the only thing I've got going for me is my hair is all grown back, just as full and possibly curlier than before. I've got my beautiful hair but a fat and painful old body. It's an interesting conundrum.... when I was feeling and looking physically my best that was the point where my hair had mostly fallen out-ok, I admit I wasn't bald, not by a long shot but super thin none the less.

SO WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS? I am, as of today, starting all over. I'm not "going back" to raw. I'm simply "starting over from scratch". I'm going to do what I did the first time. I'm going to go on a juice feast for as long as I can- a minimum of 8 days because that is what I did my very first time. And then, I'm going to see, what, if any changes, have happened.

There were times after I went raw that I wanted to go to the Tree of Life Rejuvenation Center to refresh and have people make raw foods for me... like at a spa. But now, as I sit here crying... yes, crying, I wish I could go so I could have the help and support to get better again. So I could break this cycle and be healthy - so that I never end up here again. It's crazy, back then I even had the money to do it but spent it on stupid things. Now, with no money, saving myself is up to me.... and I'm terrified.

Holiday meals... help!

2009-12-11T11:16:00.003-06:00

The last two years of being raw I've fixed myself raw lasagna for Christmas. Well, I made it for Thanksgiving this year and it was good as usual. But I'm tired of it. I'm tired of raw alfredo sauce over zucchini noodles with wilted spinach. I'm tired of guacamole. I'm tired of all the typical/normal raw meals. This is a special holiday for me. It's my last Christmas with all my boys-still boys. My oldest graduates in the spring and will be going farther away for college. My middle son will be at my ex's in Nebraska next year and I may send my youngest to my parents. This is my last big blow out family Christmas. I've got lots of the boys favorite foods planned for them but I also want something a little special. Yet I don't want to waste a bunch of money on something I end up not liking the taste of. I've got several raw recipe books and of course access to all the websites, but I don't have time or the money to find something that I might like. Can anyone out there help me with a killer recipe?

Here's my "Wish List" for a holiday meal recipe:

I don't want to have to dehydrate anything, though it wouldn't kill me.
I'm not a fan of nut "meats" though a little is okay.
It's got to be fairly fast and easy.
Ingredients have to be fairly common, nothing I have to order off internet. I will be going to Whole Foods next week.

The Journey (Evolution)

2009-12-09T13:21:00.005-06:00

As I look back over my journey of being raw I see so many changes.

My journey started on May 7, 2007 when I went on an 8 day juice fast followed by 80-100% raw for the next several months. By that summer I had even quit drinking alcohol and was nearly 100% every day. The 2007 holidays were a crazy time for me. All the holidays were at my house yet I fixed both the standard holiday fare and my raw without a complaint. I specifically remember those Thanksgiving "mashed potatoes" made from cauliflower (YUK!!!) and the mushroom gravy made mostly with nama shoya. By Christmas I realized holidays would never be the same for me so I made myself a raw lasagna instead and was very happy with the results. By winter 2007 I'd lost most of my weight (75 lbs) and had found all the high fat raw recipes that reminded me of SAD food tastes. The beginning of 2008 until that summer was a whirlwind of making costly and difficult raw recipes, dehydrating and sprouting. I liked what I was eating and was, at that time, still enjoying the time fixing those meals for myself in addition to cooking for my family. We sold our ranch and moved to Texas the summer of 2008. There was a month that we lived with my parents that, at the time, seemed so difficult to stay raw. My parents house was full of so many foods that I had quit buying for the family and items I knew better than to keep in one of my cabinets for fear I'd cave and eat it myself. What I didn't realize was that one month with my parents was only an introduction in the difficulties I would face in Texas. The first few months here we lived in hotels because our house wasn't finished. I drank a lot of raw cacao smoothies and ate a lot of plain salads. We moved into our house but for 11 weeks we didn't have electric so storing raw foods was nearly impossible. We had a generator and ran it for several hours a few times a day but fresh foods didn't keep for very long in the oppressive heat of that house. We ate out a lot at that time because of the difficulties of cooking at the house. By that time I was so very tired of salads that I started eating a little cooked vegan. Then cheese on my salads. Then SAD salad dressings. Then Southern desserts. Then bread. By the time our house had electric my whole way of eating had changed. Around the same time I started working full time with a 45 minute commute. When I went raw I was working out of the house so if I was hungry I had my blender, juicer and a fridge full of fruits and veggies. As I look back I realize how much easier it was for me to BE raw as a stay at home then while working. Working has definitely been difficult as far as being a raw foodist. I'm lucky we have a small fridge to keep things in but everything else is hard. We have a small little grocery store here on campus and it's filled with everything SAD including pre-made bakery items not to mention candy and chocolate bars. It's pretty close to food Hell for me. Another thing I didn't realize while living in Nebraska was that our small towns lack of decent restaurants was actually beneficial to me. The few restaurants in town really only served plain white lettuce salads so we got used to not eating out. Once we moved here, was forced to eat out because of our house situation and then got used to eating out several times a week, well, it totally changed the way I ate. Salad? Sure but it has this, and this and this on it. I used to carry raw dressings with me but after a few days of trying to carry them in this East Texas summer heat I realized I might kill myself with my own dressing if I wasn't careful. And, as you all know, eating plain lettuce salads over and over again does get a little boring. This past year I've enjoyed being in Texas. I've enjoyed the weather, the people and the opportunities. But what it's done to myself as a raw foodist is, to me, a sad thing. Pulling myself up and out of my SAD slump has been a roller coaster of emotions and difficulties. It's been hard on my body too. I've gained 20 pounds, taken myself on numerous sugar and bread benders and reactivated my rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia.

I see, now, how my previous beliefs that "one little bite won't hurt me" couldn't have been more wrong. For me being a raw foodist isn't a luxury, isn't because I want to be skinny, beautiful young or even just different than everyone else - but for my health (though I DO love those side effects ;) For me being raw is how I save myself from a life of joint and muscle pain. My choice is simple: be a raw foodist-100% or eventually end up in a wheel chair, sad, fat and in horrible pain.

My blog has always been about my evolution as a person or as this post title says "The Journey". Lately I've been angry with myself for the detour I've taken. Now I see that I needed that detour to show me why I need to STAY raw. It's obvious why I went raw but staying raw is just as important. I can't let "just one little bite" literally ruin my life.

Green Smoothies

2009-12-09T13:14:00.002-06:00

This past week I've been really - and I'm talking REALLY into GREEN SMOOTHIES.

Spinach and Banana is my f a v o r i t e!

I'm finding I don't particularly like savory green smoothies. Or, at least, I haven't found one I like yet. I do enjoy Ann's Energy Soup as I've posted before. Maybe it has to do with drinking from a glass vs. eating with a spoon. I just don't know.

I've been drinking at least one a day. Not only does it help me stay on the 811 but I'm finally starting to kick the cravings for sugar, chocolate and breads (again).

Chinese food mistake and Apparitions

2009-12-03T15:50:00.003-06:00

I had to attend a working lunch today.

Usually it's at a very cool Latin restaurant where I've gotten to know the chef and he gladly makes me these beautiful raw salads (Shout Out to Carlos at Villa Montez, Tyler, Texas).

But today they switched the meeting on me and we met at a Chinese restaurant. I knew there wouldn't be anything for me to eat and I was correct. No lettuce on site and they wouldn't make me anything raw. My only choice was vegetarian delight. Since I was in a rush this morning I wasn't able to eat breakfast and was starving so I made the huge mistake of not only ordering it but eating it. Ugh! What a stupid, stupid mistake!!! My stomach is killing me and I have a headache (yea, yea, I know). I've been so good! I've been attaining 811 so EASILY this week and was feeling amazing. Looks like just green juice tonight to calm my achy tummy :(

On a positive note- I received a "call" from the other side. My soul aches to be reunited with that apparition! The sun, sand and salty waters will come to pass. Someday, This Life or the Next. It doesn't matter because I know it to be true. I miss you! <3

Raw foodists at a church I'm considering going to

2009-12-02T11:39:00.003-06:00

Kinda bummed today.

I realized last night that I have to give a talk about the non-profit I work for on Saturday from 11 am to noon. That means I can't go to Dallas/Irving to the church I want to visit. Though I don't actually have plans for Sunday and maybe it would be better to go then. If I don't go Sunday then it looks like I couldn't get there for at least the next 5 or 6 weeks because of my son coming in from Nebraska for the holidays. I guess I'm still up in the air at the moment.

Either way - I thought it worthwhile to tell you about the conversation I had with the gentleman arranging my visit. After going over the basics of the church beliefs, why I am interested, etc., he mentioned that I could stay as long as I like and even eat there. Eat there? Yes, they serve meals. I said that though it was very sweet there probably wouldn't be much for me to eat. (I'm thinking back to those typical Catholic food events.) The gentleman mentioned that if I had a specific dietary need that they could order something special for me. I said, well, I am a raw vegan but I don't need anything special other than fruits and vegetables. And this is where he surprised me... He then said, "Oh, that shouldn't be a problem, we actually have several raw foodists here", "I'll make a point to introduce you" to some of them. What a pleasant surprise!

811 and detoxing raw cacao

2009-12-01T12:44:00.006-06:00

Sorry I haven't posted lately. I've been on a roller coaster. For several weeks before Thanksgiving I was eating raw and almost unintentionally, I was eating 811. I started feeling amazing, losing weight and feeling better about myself-and thinking seriously about why I had troubles with 811 the first time I tried it.

Then, Thanksgiving came along. I made myself a raw lasagna but was out of several ingredients and the end result didn't taste as great as I'd hoped. Not to mention that after eating 811 I wasn't really interested in eating a lot of heavy nut meats. Instead of eating a nice salad or something I instead ended up eating mashed potatoes, wild rice and homemade mac and cheese. Though all vegetarian it was all a far cry from what I'd been eating the last few weeks. I also drank two bottles of wine with my husband over the weekend. Not my favorite red wines but the kind he likes, sweet and white and way too much sugar for my body. Friday and Saturday I continued eating cooked vegetarian out of... stupidity for lack of a better adjective. Over the holiday I managed to gain back all I'd lost and turn my healing body back into a trash can.

Yesterday (Monday) I started all over eating the way I was before Thanksgiving. I juiced in the morning, had a green smoothie for lunch and a perfect light spinach salad for dinner. Started today with an orange and coconut cream smoothie and just finished off another green smoothie for lunch. I'm already feeling better with one exception, I woke up with a headache and I still can't shake it. I even know why I have it. I ran out of raw cacao powder last week. About every other morning I make myself a raw cacao smoothie with bananas, nut milk, agave, mesquite powder and vanilla bean. Even when I'm eating vegetarian SAD I still start every morning with a cacao smoothie. Well, I'm out AND I'm seriously broke until the end of the week. No ordering any for me any time soon. So I'm detoxing the caffeine in the chocolate is my educated guess. Serves me right, I knew I was using the smoothies as an emotional crutch anyway.

PS- Saturday I'm going to Dallas. Or more specifically Irving. I'm going to a church to spend the day. I'm really excited about it. I've talked openly with my husband about going and mentioned it to my kids but not a soul else. The kids think I'm crazy and though Ron is always supportive of whatever I do he mentioned that he doesn't want to hear anything about it. Even thinking, briefly, of looking into a new church, of a new religion as a family is a huge step... but to do it alone, without my family-I worry if maybe I have lost my mind. But then again, the mind is the entire reason why I'm going.

I miss my Fuzzy Wuzzy :(

2009-11-11T11:14:00.003-06:00

As my tattoo is healing it is going through the typical process of burning, swelling, itching, etc. It's constant irritation is also a constant reminder of the pain I've been feeling in my heart.

Today on the way to work I saw a woman in her pj's leaning over the fence and loving on her horse with a cup of coffee in the other hand. The scene was so similar to so many days over the past six years. Seeing that woman in her pj's, focused solely on her horse, well, that did it. I've been holding off the tears for more than a week by just not thinking of her and by focusing on the words on my wrist, not the soul that they represent.

My Fuzzy Wuzzy is gone and I miss her terribly. As I'm typing this I'm crying. I think a part of me has been in denial. I keep looking out into the pasture waiting to see her. I miss my girl, my little Fuzzy Wuzzy... my daughter.

Doing Great!

2009-11-10T13:23:00.004-06:00

I haven't posted in a few days and the reason is a little surprising.

I've been 90-95% raw without any trouble. My few blips consist of little things like organic chunky peanut butter on a banana topped with raw cacao/agave/coconut oil, vegetarian sushi from the grocery store or my (almost) nightly 1" glass of wine. I'm not feeling guilty about my little blips at the moment because I'm feeling that my brain has switched over to thinking RAW again. I know that at this rate I'll want to feel better and better and to do that I'll need to get cleaner and more raw so I know I'll get there again. No problem!

The other reason I've forgotten to post lately is really exciting! My rheumatoid pain has significantly diminished to nearly non-existent. Hooray! The swelling finally went down in my elbows for the first time in weeks, possibly months. My hands and feet are feeling-normal. Everything is getting back to normal it seems. My cravings for sweets and bread is fading, I'm bringing lunch everyday so I don't have to starve just to eat something quick and bad at home and I'm just feeling like my old self. The person I like to wake up to.

It's exciting to me that I don't feel worried that I'll stumble and fall back into cooked vegetarian again. It's just not in my thoughts. I think that's a good thing that my brain has reset.

Dave the Raw Food Trucker

2009-11-06T12:15:00.002-06:00

Inspiration from a truck driver! YEA MAN!

Energy Soup - Thank you Ann Wigmore

2009-11-04T13:42:00.005-06:00

On the morning of May 7, 2007 I threw myself into the raw food lifestyle. My life since then has not only been supremely healthier but happier. I don't deny that I've had troubles, especially this past year, but all in all I've considered myself a successful raw foodie since that fateful day.

In the time since I've been raw I've fixed Ann Wigmore's Energy Soup numerous times- a couple dozen at least. I've never made it two meals in a row, however and I've never made it multiple times over multiple days. As you've read lately, I've been really into soups. They are easy for me to make in the mornings to take to work and I know I'm getting a ton of food/enzymes the fastest and easiest way possible.

With all this recent experimentation with soups I have decided that the best and by far the easiest to make has been Ann's Energy Soup. I don't even make it the same everyday. Today was the first time I put tahini butter in it instead of an avocado and I really enjoy the difference. I've made it with sprouts and without. I've made it with more apple or no apple at all, with garlic and without, I've doubled the cayenne or substituted it with curry. My favorite addition has been lemon juice. I've replaced the seaweed with nori sheets or powdered spirinilla. I've loved some that I've made and had to choke down other versions. Yet each time I know that when it's time for lunch I will have a jar of PERFECT GREEN GOODNESS waiting for me. I'm no longer bringing bags of lettuce, jars of dressing and misc veggies in my purse only to be forgotten and go bad before lunch or worse yet, I'm not starving myself because I was too lazy to bring anything.

Now I know this isn't the exact recipe, but it's the one I can work with the easiest:

Handful lettuce - baby greens preferably

Handful dark greens

½ zucchini &/or ½ cucumber

½ avocado or 1 Tbs nut butter

½ peeled apple, papaya or watermelon

1 cup fresh sprouts (sunflower, buckwheat, mung bean, etc…)

2 tablespoons dulse flakes (may add kelp, nori, and other sea vegetables)

¾ cup Rejuvelac (though I don't often have it to use)

I also throw in herbs from my garden such as parsley, oregano, basil, etc.

A cup or two of water depending on what I want the thickness to be.

Sea salt to taste

Halloween Candy, Raw Soups & Tattoos

2009-11-03T12:06:00.007-06:00

I'm happy and satisfied to say that I'm still 100% RAW! Yea!

Okay, ok - with the exception of Halloween. I did indulge in two small candies from my son's bag. I also had a cookie with purple frosting. I blame the frosting-it was my favorite color! At first I felt guilty for eating them but then I realized I was okay with my little bump in the road because I realized it was just that, a bump, not a major detour.

Lately, I've been eating a lot of soups. I'm not sure if it's because the weather here is cooling off a little and finally making it feel like Fall or if it's just because I know I can get more healthy raw enzymes into me without getting full or not liking the taste. Either way, the soups are working for me. The RA and Fibro are starting to back off again, I've lost the weight I gained after Sierra died and I'm feeling emotionally and physically back on track.

Recently I've made various versions of Dr. Ann Wigmore's Energy Soup. Yesterday I put juice of a whole lemon and an entire sheet of raw seaweed in it and that gave it a completely different taste! I'm not out of sprouts so I'm thinking tonight I'll go easy and make Carrot Curry.

Oh, I forgot! I'm getting another tattoo Saturday. I'm getting Sierra's name on my right wrist. Nothing crazy or inappropriate just a beautiful scrolly script that wraps all the way around. I wanted the dates but the tattoo artist recommended against it because I wanted them small and on the underside of my wrist where they might wear off. That's okay. I need to focus more on her life not her death.

Every time I get a tattoo or highlight my hair I wonder about my values. Here I am, living the life of a raw vegan, using natural cleaners in my house, DE for my pets, soap nuts for my

laundry, natural/organic/sulphate free hair products, chemical free deodorants and toothpaste, etc. and then I freely get inked or bleached. At least I admit that I'm an oxymoron.

Don't judge a Daisy because you think it should be a rose.

No complaints - I'm still raw!

2009-10-30T11:38:00.004-05:00

Last night on the way home from work I was starving hungry. Which was strange because I've actually been eating more, more regularly, all week. I was worried when I walked in the house I'd just grab something bad, like chips and salsa or a cookie or whatever. But I was good. I even started my kids dinner before getting to my own.

I made carrot curry soup because it was fast and easy. I didn't realize I was out of lemons though so it didn't taste like normal but at least it satisfied me! Yea!!! I'm still raw!

This morning I had a raw coffee. I can't remember which website I got the recipe off years ago but it's called a Rawbucks Coffee. I think I got it off a post of GoneRaw.com Anyway, it was amazing.

Lunch is again, a different story and I'm a little worried. I didn't make lunch to bring to work... and I'm leaving at 2 pm today to do some running around for work. I'm already pretty hungry. I think I'll go over to Papa Bill's Store (Azleway's little food pantry) to see what they have for fruit. Lately it's been pretty pathetic on the fresh fruit. During different times of the year we can get some nice fruit but usually it's a little on the ripe side and it's never organic. But at least it will be raw. I think when I'm doing my running this afternoon I'll grab a Rawsome bar from the Granery. That will help tide me over till dinner.

An Artistic Life

2009-10-29T15:17:00.002-05:00

I'm artistic. I know it. Everyone who knows me knows it.

Yet I don't create art. Oh, I paint now and then. Pictures for friends or relatives or the latest was for a fundraiser for where I work. But I don't paint for me. It's not that I don't want to - I do! It's just not a priority. But it should be. It's who I am.

Sierra's recent passing has inspired me to paint a picture representing our relationship. I want to paint the picture for me to help me with my grieving. It wouldn't be a painting that you could look at and say 'oh, yea, that's you and that's your horse'. I have the idea in my head and I want to paint it... but I'm afraid. Afraid it will bring more pain (which it will), afraid I'll be unhappy with the result and afraid my family won't see anything but blobs of paint on canvas.

I don't want to be afraid to paint for myself. I shouldn't be afraid to paint for myself.

One step at a time though. Focus on being 100% RAW again. Focus on getting my RA under control. In the mean time keeping my family a priority and my job under control.

Baby steps.