'Nearly Raw' HAIKU ROLLS Recipe

Alright, first I'll address the elephant in the room.  Yes, it seems that I'm posting... again.  So much for quitting but I wanted to post this recipe and I realized the best place for recipes is still here.  

So, here we go again :)

FIRST STEP

Into a large bowl add the following ingredients then MASSAGE WELL

to wilt the kale and spinach and get the garlic flavor in there.

4 large leaves Lacinato Kale, torn or cut into bite size pieces

Handful of Spinach

a Tbs or so EVOO

1 tsp Garlic powder or finely chopped

SECOND STEP

After the greens are nice and soft add the following to the bowl

1-2" inches Ginger root, fresh grated

(if you don't have fresh then use powdered in the first step)

2 large Carrots, grated

1 C of either Diakon Radish or Jicama (I used Jicama)

1 grated small garlic &/or dill Pickle

(yes, I said Pickle! Just do it :)

1/4 C Red Onion, chopped (optional, not in the picture)

Juice of half a Lemon

1-2 Tbs Nama Shoyu or low sodium soy sauce

 1 Tbs Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce or to taste

(I've recently become seriously addicted to this stuff and I need to just make my own homemade without the chemicals and preservatives but until then...)    

Now stir well getting all ingredients and sauce even distributed.

You can even let it sit a few minutes to really get the flavors incorporated.

FINAL STEP

This may be the hardest part for some people but give it a try anyway.

If you just can't get the Rice Paper you could use Nori Sheets

or at the very least you could just eat what you have as a slaw.

 Vietnamese Rice Paper

Bamboo Sushi Mat

Prepare rice paper according to directions or basically just dip in very hot water

for a minute until soft.  Now this next part is important, especially if you used Jicama... 

you will need to squeeze out the extra liquid from the 'slaw' before wrapping in the rice

paper.  Don't squeeze it dry, but you don't want it running down your chin, arms, etc. 

Then wrap as normal.  Use the remaining liquid as a dip.

 

Alright... so I guess this blog isn't quite finished.  For those of you still hangin' around, I guess I'll just keep you guessing as to when and what I may post.  Although... if you have any requests, I'd love to hear them and maybe even follow up for a change :)

Love and Light from West Texas!

Coming to a natural end

I've been blogging on this site since 2007 and I've had my ups and downs but all the while I've enjoyed it.  Lately though, even though I still (sorta) enjoy it, I feel that I'm just not the same person I was when I started this blog.  And I just don't want to blog here anymore.  I'm not even sure if I will start another.  If I did, what would it be about? I have no idea.  Which is why I figure, if nothing else, I'm just going to take some time off.  I may never come back! Lol  But if I do start a new blog, I'll post a link on here in case anyone wants to follow me there. 

LOVE, HUGS AND KISSES TO ALL WHO HAVE FOLLOWED ME ON MY JOURNEY THESE LAST SIX YEARS!

Prepping for the 2013 West Texas garden

The past week my family has starting preparing the area that will be our 2013 garden plot.  Here's a picture to show you what is looks like today... although we've already cleared and put up new fence on the north, cleared out the chest high tumble weeds and put up the greenhouse.  We obviously need to do the same thing to the western fence.

It's obvious that at some time in the distant past that this area was used for gardening.  There's a water faucet right there, the ground is void of grass holding just tumbleweeds and a few sticker plants.  It's pretty much cleared of rocks and there isn't any mesquite or cactus.  Bonuses all around!  Also it seems that the dirt is actually in surprisingly good shape, not at all like the ground just outside of the fence. 

The fire pit it new to us.  Hubby and youngest son put it in last fall and it has been the source of much family enjoyment.  I have plans on adding either cement or some other hard surface around the pit to a diameter of at least 6 feet out so that there is room for furniture. 

In the last week I've made several to scale diagrams of possible layouts for the garden plots. 


Here's two versions;  this first one (to the left) has the most amount of work to be done and second (below) has the least amount of work needed completed. 

Before the scale plans I'd made probably a dozen sketches, lol.  I guess you can't take the artist (or graphic artist) out of the gardener. I still can't decide what to do.  We don't actually own the ranch though so I'm wavering on how much I want to put into the garden.  Although we did sign a lease to purchase so we do plan on eventually buying it.  Yet we all know how things are in the world these days and with the history I'm significantly worried we'll never get another loan.  So to put significant money into building raised beds, walkways, etc... Well, I just don't know.  But then there's the fact that we live in West Texas.  The edge of the Chihuahuan desert to be exact and I'm a bit (okay, more than a bit) worried how gardening in these harsh conditions will work out. Extreme gardening anyone?

I have such big plans for this year's garden.  I have hopes of it being the biggest garden I've ever tackled.  Yet I'm, again, terrified of the hard climate and soil I have to work with.  I'm really hoping to plant at least two corn varieties, one sweet and one popcorn.  I also plan on several hard bean varieties as well as lentils.  I'd LOVE to grow quinoa, buckwheat, flax and teff but I might just be dreaming on those grains. My hope is to be able to store at least 2/3 of what I harvest for my "preps".  I'm also going to grow tomatoes, peppers and onions to can for spaghetti sauce and salsa, my families to favorites.  Also, my husband requested pickles and his own strawberry plot.

All this gardening has been very exciting and I've been really looking forward to it all... and then yesterday I crashed.  All these emotions creeped up and I got scared, worried and to be honest I became down right grumpy and had a little meltdown.  Now... just to defend myself I was on Day 2 of the first juice fast I've done in close to a year and I was having a bit of a hypoglycemic reaction from the sudden reduction-elimination of all the bad stuff I'd been eating the past year.  Not to worry, I'm fine and I'm balancing out now.  I also didn't yell or scream or anything like that, I just wanted to quit it all and forget it.  But all is better today.  I think... It's hot today and I want to put on shorts already.  I'm trying not to let the weather freak me out yet.

Smoothies Day 5-8 / UPDATE!

I've decided not to continue with the 365 Smoothies.  

Mostly because I just don't have time to write it down and blog every single day.  That and as I'm on day 3 of a 24 day juice fast, just the idea of smoothies is too temping to think about at the moment.  So for those of you that were looking forward to 365 smoothie recipes, I'm sorry.  Then again, I doubt there was anyone out there looking forward to it anyway, Ha!  Let me know if there IS anyone out there truly interested.  

Sorry I haven't posted recipes every day lately.  Sometime that will just happen! You should expect that of me as I do get busy or run out of town for the day.  However I want you to know that I'm actually making these everyday and keeping the recipes in my Kindle Fire my family gave me for Christmas (thank family!!! :)

So... now to the recipes!... 

Day 5 Smoothie, 1-5-13

1 C almond milk

6 dates

1/2 banana

 1 tbs lemon juice

1 tbs maca

2 tbs hemp seed

1/4 tsp vanilla powder

pinch sea salt

ice

REVIEW: Can you say Lemon Cheesecake Smoothie? 

Day 6 Smoothie, 1-6-13

2 C almond milk

handful kale

handful young green leafy lettuce mixed

1 c blackberries

2 Tbs honey

REVIEW: Pretty good actually.  Although... there was too much kale.  Less kale and more lettuce next time. 

Day 7 Smoothie, 1-7-13

2 C Ancient Grains milk by Central Market/HEB

5 dates

1/4 tsp vanilla powder

1 tsp maca

1 tsp lucuma

2 tsp raw cacao

2 tbs hemp seed

ice

REVIEW: Another variation of a Chocolate Smoothie. This is the first time I've tried Ancient Grains milk by HEB.  Usually I make my own nut milk.  Actually anytime I don't refer to the brand then you can safely assume I made my own nut milk. 

Day 8 Smoothie, 1-8-13

2 C Ancient Grains milk by Central Market/HEB

1 heaping C frozen strawberries

1 banana

1 tbs lemon juice

1 heaping tbs maca

3 tbs psyllium husk

1 tsp chia seed

1/2 tsp acai powder

1/4 tsp MSM powder

1/4 tsp Stevia

dash sea salt

REVIEW: Strawberry Cheesecake Smoothie. This would have been an awesome smoothie except someone left the salt shaker on the largest opening so my little "dash" was several times more than wanted or expected :(  However, this is a repeat recipe if done correctly and I really like how the chia and psyllium make this smoothie nice and silky smooth. 

Day 4 Smoothie

The Mango Lassi is my favorite smoothie right behind my raw Chocolate mock "Latte" I make with Fo-Ti for that vague hint of coffee-ish flavor (recipe here).  I'm sure I'll be posting more versions of the Mango Lassi over the year. 

Day 4 Smoothie, 1-4-13

2 C water

2 bananas

1 Tbs maca root powder

1 tsp coconut oil

1 tsp hemp powder

1/4 tsp cardamon

dash cinnamon

dash vanilla powder

a few grains sea salt (totally optional)

good drizzle of honey

Blend above then then add

1 C frozen mango

REVIEW: Yummy :) Basically it's a Mango Lassie with Banana "mylk"

For those of you wondering how I could possibly come up with 365 completely different smoothie recipes I can tell you that for me it will be easy.  I hardly ever follow a recipe in the first place and every morning I make something different and never look up a recipe to do so.  I guess that is what prompted me to do this 365 days of smoothie recipes.  Partially to share my recipes for you to either try yourself or to inspire you to do as I do.  Just open the fridge every morning and see what calls to you.  Does your body call for chocolate? Berries? Something a little green or maybe even a lot green.  If that sounds a bit scarey to you then feel free to use as many of my recipes you want! :)

365 Smoothies, Days 1, 2 and 3

2013 YEAR OF THE SMOOTHIE

I've decided that this year I'm going to make one smoothie a day.  Everyday. 365 Smoothie recipes to be posted on here over the course of the year.

Most days I make a smoothie anyway but this year I'm going to post the exact recipe what I make and give you my comments on it.  Feel free to make comments on them too if you make them yourselves.  Just keep in mind that I make no guarantees these will be any good.  Although, after five (yes, 5!) years of being at minimum high raw that I've gotten pretty good at making smoothies without hardly thinking twice.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do on the days I juice. We will just see.

Enjoy the Year of Smoothies by Raw Food Cowgirl!

So, to get things started, here are Days 1, 2 and 3 :)

Day 1 Smoothie, 1-1-13

1 1/2 C water

1 Tbs Milk Thistle seed

1 Tbs Chia seed

1/4 tsp Diatamateous Earth

1 tsp psylium husk

1 Tbs Maca

1 tsp Acai

2 bananas

1 1/4 C frozen blueberries

1 Tbs coconut oil

1/4 tsp stevia

Let the water and milk thistle set awhile before blending.  I did not strain because I then added the DE and psylium so I figured it would just all be fiber.

REVIEW: Surprisingly good.  I did need the stevia because it wasn't as sweet as expected.  And it was surprisingly smooth and not gritty. 

Day 2 Smoothie, 1-2-13

2 C water

1 heaping Tbs raw caco

1 heaping tsp maca powder

1 tsp psyllium husk

1/2 tsp Merlins magic elixir

1 tbs coconut oil

1 tbs flax oil

1 heaping tbs hemp powder

1 c frozen strawberries

REVIEW: The flax oil made it taste a bit yucky! I think my flax oil went bad, lol. 

Day 3 Smoothie, 1-3-13

2 C water

6 medjool dates

1 heaping tsp maca

1 level tsp ashwagandha root powder

1 tsp coconut oil

1 Tbs Garden of Life Perfect Food Green Super Food

1/8 tsp BrainON by E3Live

1 Tbs raw cacao

1 Tbs honey

REVIEW:YUMMY! :)

Matt's video today couldn't have come at a better time!

I've attached a video below from the Raw Food World TV Show that couldn't have come at a better time for me in my life.  Matt Monarch's insights couldn't have been more perfect and spot on if I'd asked him personally what he thought of my current state of health.  It explains so much of what I've been going through.  On the surface, what I've been eating and the amounts are actually not that bad.  So much better than the average American woman actually.  But it's still a drastic change, a huge step backwards of my norm- or what my norm was for the past four years. (And even the past 4 years was a step backwards from my original first year of being raw.)

This video also clearly explains what happened to, well... to my face!  I thought it was stress and moving from humid ETX to arid WTX.  However, I know Matt is right.  The change in my eating HAS caused not only my weight gain but also how drastically I've aged in the past six months.  

Here's the video... You know I'm going to be seriously rethinking my diet.

Update for RawFoodCowgirl

This is not an easy post for me to write and I've been putting it for for a long time.  I'm not sure where to start, so bear with me as I stumble along...

The move to Fort Stockton didn't work out for so many reasons.  The first is that there are so few organics available.  There are a few places in Midland but that's a two hour drive from here and it's impossible for me to get there as we had to file bankruptcy and had no choice but to foreclose on our ranch in East Texas. As a result I also lost my car.  We are down to one old car and as my husband works, he needs it so I am left at the small ranch we are renting several miles outside of town. Not that living in town would have been any better.  There are only two place to buy food and both are, well, they aren't Whole Foods. As far as what is available, don't get me wrong, I AM grateful that the little local Walmart does actually carry organic carrots, celery, lettuce and spinach.  If it wasn't for Walmart there wouldn't be any organics in over a 100 mile radius or more.  The lack of organics, coupled with lack of ability to drive anywhere to buy and the lack of money to purchase over the internet has really set me back, health wise.  I know, I know, you are saying, "grow your own".  Well, until YOU live in Fort Stockton, Texas and have gardened successfully, don't even mention gardening in this horrid, rocky, good for nothing, dry as a bone soil. Not to mention the heat.  This fall I managed to grow a square foot of each lettuce and arugula and a few heads of broccoli bu that's the extent of that.  Shoot, I can't even FORAGE as dandelion and other forage-able greens just aren't here for me to forage for.  Mesquite.  Miles and miles of mesquite.  That's all that grows here.  And tumbleweeds. 

Another reason this move hasn't worked for us is the horses.  There is NO grass so we have to feed our horses purchased hay year around.  It's incredibly expensive (another reason I can't buy over internet or save up to buy a car). We've been trying to sell our horses with no luck.  We have tried to give them away also with no luck. 

And, lastly... my husband of ten years and I have finally decided to call it quits.  We've been limping along for years.  It was easier when he lived here and we still lived 8 hours away.  Now that we've tried, one last time, to live together we have realized it's just not fixable.  At least I know now that we actually gave it our all to make it work. If we would have divorced last year as we'd talked about I would have forever wondered if our moving to West Texas with him would have worked. Now I know that our differences are too much and that though we will always be friends it is finally time for us both to move on.

Unfortunately, moving on at this point in my life seems... nearly impossible.  The past six months of not being able to eat as I need to has really set me back.  Adding the emotional stress of money and a failed marriage and I'm a mess.  Although I'm still vegetarian I've been eating poorly.  I'm embarrassed to admit it but it's true.  Cheese enchiladas, deep fried onion rings, cheese pizzas, cookies, cakes, candy, bread, lots and lots of alcohol, it's all added up to gaining 20 pounds since the move in June and worse than the weight is the PAIN.  My sero-neg auto immune disease (non RA/RA) and fibromyalgia is back.  My hands and feet hurt all the time.  My knees and back, elbows, shoulders, hips, pelvis.  You name it, if it's a joint, it HURTS.  All the time. 

I've tried going on a juice fast but I can't get organic apples.  I can get them in Midland but I can't afford the gas for the car even on my husband's days off.  We did go this past weekend and I bought some organic apples, finally, after MONTHS without them but I actually had to pay $2.79 a pound for them.  Back in ETX I could get them at the farmer's markets or the little local place I went to for $1.49 a pound. Anyway, I've never been good with pure carrot juice and as that's all I can buy in town I can only juice for about 48 hours and then the pure carrot juice won't go down anymore. But I do keep trying everyday to eat healthy and stay away from the emotionally numbing bad foods.  It's tough though, trying to get back on track when I don't know which track to get back on.  My life is so upside down at the moment.  The days I manage to eat at least vegan and get some meditation in seems like Nirvana to me.  I'm taking each day as it comes hoping that each new day gets better. That I find hope again. Hope in myself. Hope that my body can once again be cured of this pain and disease.  I know it's possible.  I know the road I'm on is tough right now but someday, I know.  I know I'll be back.

New Energy Healing Website and Business

My new Energy Healing Website :) Click on either the link or the picture below.  If you are ever in the West Texas area, give me a call and I'd love to work on you.

Aleta Lightworker

Applied Kinesiology Mushroom Cacao Smoothie

As I'm writing this I'm enjoying a raw cacao smoothie with.... of all things, powdered mushrooms! (Click on the links in the recipe for the health benefits of each of the powdered mushrooms.)  I normally wouldn't think of using mushrooms in a breakfast smoothing but I decided to use applied kinesiology to create a smoothie that would be most useful for my body today.

Okay, I've thrown a couple new thoughts at you today :)  Lets start with the "applied kinesiology" I'm no expert but here is a few links that should get you going. www.appliedkinesiology.com  www.humblewellness.com  (Please don't read the Wikipedia definition or anything that has the words "quack or phony" in the description, this is just big business and the government trying to keep us all dumbed down like sheep in my opinion.  Try it. Think for Yourself.  Believe what YOU believe, not what you are brainwashed to "think".) Okay, now that you have a better idea of what I'm talking about you might be wondering...

 

How do I use applied kinesiology to choose 

which foods or ingredients are best for my body today? 

It's really quite easy and simple.  First, stand with your feet together and relax your knees.  Hold the food item that you are about to eat in front of you at about your solar plexus and just touching.  Close your eyes and ask your body if it needs this food today.  The majority of people's bodies will lean  forward for a "Yes" response and conversely it will lean backward for a "No" response. If you lean to either side that is usually a "maybe" or "optional" type response. The amount of sway differs on many factors including the person and the need of the body for that particular item.  Usually if I get a big sway I'll add more of that item.

Here is a great article on a different approach to using applied kinesiology in choosing foods at www.livestrong.com

And finally here is the crazy recipe my body decided it needed for a breakfast smoothie today.

Yummy, Protein filled GOJI BERRIES :)

• 2 C freshly made Almond "milk"
• 2 Tbs Raw Cacao
• 1 Tbs Goji Berries
• 1 Tbs Flax Seeds
• 1 Tbs local raw Honey
• 1 tsp Maca
• 1 tsp Ashwaganda
• 1 tsp Merlin's Roots Elixir
• 1 tsp Coconut sugar
• 1/2 tsp local Bee Pollen
• 1/4 tsp Cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp He Shou Wu
• 1/4 tsp each of Shiitaki (also here), Reishi, and Changa mushroom powder
• a dash of Stevia powder
• a dash of Himalayan Sea Salt
• 4 drops LiquiKelp
• 50 mg of DHEA

It's surprisingly pretty great.  I usually add vanilla powder to everything but I got a HUGE sway backwards.  Maybe I'm using too much vanilla (if that's possible).  I wasn't even going to make a cacao smoothie today but you can't (or at least shouldn't) argue with your body or the Antioxidant rating of raw cacao powder. I was  also intending to take my normal vitamins for the day that includs 3 pills I take everyday for menopause/hot flash support but my body didn't want them today either.  Hum.... Interesting...

Oh, and don't forget to click on the links in the recipe about each of the powdered mushroom's benefits.  They are pretty amazing and there are more than just those 3 types of powdered mushrooms that are healthy and beneficial.  Do some research if you don't know about then.  Maybe you they are something you also need to add to heal yourself and attain awesome health and wellness.

Sometimes the body knows more what we need 

than our thinking heads do.  

I try to listen. 

Do you?

Possible new business?

So, I'm moving to Fort Stockton, Texas in a few weeks.  Well, not just me but the whole family and ranch.  My husband has worked and lived in that area for the past 2.5 years and we just couldn't afford or stand living apart any longer yet his job there is too good to leave. 

I'm excited about new adventures! I'm a Sagittarius after all and travel should have been my middle name.  I'm also excited that my son will have the opportunity to try out for the high school swim team.  I'm excited that the house we will be leasing to purchase is not a trailer house but a real solid house with a Texas style metal roof and all.  Also, there is more actual acres for the horses though there won't be any grass there in the desert for them to eat.  I'm also, of course, super excited to live with my husband again <3

Annette Kohn-Lau's Reiki room

 

 

But what does all of this have to do with a possible new business?  Well... I'm thinking of opening some sort of shop or clinic or something.  I'm not sure what exactly or how (no money for start-up).  Well, that's not exactly true.  I DO have an idea and I want to run it by ya'll and see what you think.

First off I had decided I wanted to open an Energy Healing Clinic.  I've recently become a Reiki Master and I've been doing Shamanic Journeying for myself for over 7 years.  I've started doing them for others this past year. 

Second, I really want to do something with Juicing and Elixers.  Like a Juice and Smoothie Bar. 

I just can't decide if I should do one or the other or try to somehow combine the two into one.  Shoot, I don't even know if there is a legal way I could do them in the same building.  I was kinda thinking having the juice bar open in the mornings and thru lunch then schedule energy healings after lunchtime. 

Fort Stockton Texas isn't very big. I'm thinking around 10,000 people so it's not going to be a great income producer.  I really want to do this to HELP PEOPLE more than to make a bunch of money.  Sure, I'd absolutely want to cover all my costs and make a little more to make improvements to the business as I go but monetary payment to myself isn't as important as helping people heal. 

So what do you think of my idea? Crazy?

POWER LUNCH

Otherwise known as Super Powerful Raw Elixer Smoothie

When I'm Emotionally Low, need some serious Energy or just want to Feel Amazing I make a version of the following recipe.

2 C Spring Water (from the Canton Texas spring) If I had fresh young coconut water I could have used that either as a portion or entirely

• 1/2 tsp He Shou Wu
• 1/2 tsp BrainOn by E3Live
• 1/2 tsp Merlin's Roots Elixir (obviously optional but I love it!)
• 1 tsp Maca
• 1 tsp Ashwagandha
• 1 Tbs Hemp powder
• 1 scoop (21 grams) SunWarrior Natural Raw Protein powder
• 1/4 tsp vanilla powder
• 1/8-1/4 tsp Yohimbe
• 1-2 Tbs raw Cacao (to taste)
• 1 tsp (or more to taste) Coconut oil
• (I usually add a banana but I didn't have one today)

Sweeten to taste.  I use either dates, honey, coconut nectar, agave and or stevia

As I'm sitting her sipping on my first cup of this large smoothie I'm thinking that about the time I finish this post I'm going to be ready to pack a few dozen boxes and not even get tired :)

So that is my lunch... What did I do up until then?

My typical morning routine as of late consistes of the following:

• Wake up
• Start coffee brewing for enema
• Drink 8-16 oz spring water or coconut water 
• 10 minutes of easy Yoga to loosen up my joints, back and fibro muscles for the day
• Meditate 20+ minutes
• Eat some fruit: mangos, bananas, grapes, orange, etc
• Let dogs out, check horses water, maybe start a load of laundry
• Enjoy my "Upside-down Coffee" time
• Shower and dress
• Either juice or make a smoothie.  Juices of late are mostly green though when I run out of fresh greens my standard is the Carrotini (4-6 carrots, green apple and 1" ginger root)

Lunch usually consists of a smoothie and more fruit.
Snacks are fruit, carrots or celery with almond butter or another juice.
Dinner is almost always a mixed leafy green salad or other raw meal.  I'm really into using untoasted nori sheets and filling with avocado, carrot, zucchini, apples and maybe some cooked quinoa or cooked forbidden rice which I dip into a watered down coconut aminos sauce that I've "dusted" with wasabi power.

Fruit Trees by Claude Monet

“Nature is beneficent. 

I praise her and all her works. 

She is silent and wise. 

She is cunning, but for good ends. 

She has brought me here and will also lead me away. 

She may scold me, 

but she will not hate her work. 

I trust her.” 

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

What STRESS does to the RawFoodCowgirl

Talking on the phone one of my favorite things

It's not good, I can tell you that much.

Wow.... It's been awhile, hasn't it?  Sorry bout that! I'll just get to the dirt of the situation and tell ya'll that there really are only a few reasons why I occasionally don't blog for months at a time.  The best reason is that I'm doing great and frankly just feeling too good to be bothered writing about being "sick".  Then there are the times I think that maybe even though I am feeling great I should post anyway... and then I do a quick search and find tons of other blogs about RA, Fibro or Raw foods and I figure that everyone else probably has better and more knowledgeable information for you so I just don't. The last, and worst reason that I sometimes don't blog is that I'm actually not doing well and I feel like a hypocrite telling you how to eat and what to do when sometimes even I can't keep it up!  Don't get me wrong here... IF I could keep up eating as I recommend and exercise and stay away from alcohol I would more than likely be totally healed by now.  However, I'm not perfect, I have issues just like anyone and I just can't be perfect ALL THE TIME. 

So... that brings us to...

 Just how have I been since my last post? Well, the answer isn't cut and dried.  Lol.  If you follow me you will undoubtedly realize that nothing I do is simple.   

This was taken just before I quit exercising

After my last video I went on juicing and eating great and just being darn great for awhile.  So well in fact that I ACTUALLY FELT SO GOOD I STARTED EXERCISING! Yes! Actual exercising.  And not just little stuff.  I was doing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred and Shred It with Weights. Plus walking 2.5 - 5 miles a day.  Plus more weights 1 or 2 days a week.  Though during that time I never lost a darn pound -I did absolutely changed my shape... a little at least.  I actually could start seeing muscles and could absolutely FEEL them which was just awesome! I started on March 26th and worked out at least 5 days a week up until May 17th when I suddenly stopped because I spent the week cleaning house for my middle son's high school graduation.  During that time I also became incredibly over-stressed (ex-husband and his family coming to Texas first time and ALL my in-laws but none of my family).  Between the stress, suddenly stopping exercising and then stress-eating (breads, sweets and cooked vegetarian) and the stress-drinking (wine, beer, hard liquor, the whole deal) that I started up again to numb/push down my anxiety and panic, by the day before graduation.... I had created a self-induced (though unintentional) freaking FLARE! :(

My most favorite juice: pineapple, spinach, ginger

I went from AWESOME to SHIT in exactly 7 days ALL FROM WHAT I ATE AND DRANK and of course the stress too.  So if I (or you) never truly believed I was curing myself by eating raw these past FIVE YEARS then that week should have proved it once and for all. 

So, yes... THIS DOES WORK.  

But like everything else in life, 

WE won't get results unless...
WE DO THE WORK.  

That being said, starting tomorrow I'm going back to DOING THE WORK. Follow along if you like, I enjoy the company :) 
And as always, I promise, if nothing else... an interesting ride :)

Raw Cacao Smoothie and Ranch Dressing video blog

Just a quick link to my newest video blog :)

We are all individuals!

In this video I talk about the benefits I get from eating raw fruits and vegetables but also how certain fruit and veggies do aggravate my rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia.  I also go on a bit about my belief and suggestion that everyone needs to learn what their own bodies need and to heal your own body.  There isn't just ONE answer, rule, law, belief or way to heal everyone on the planet.

We are all unique... heal thyself!

The 19 year old gelding I talk about... that's him that I'm riding on my banner.  His name is Handsome Jack and he's awesome.

Here's a direct link to my article on Nightshade Plants.

I tried to find a link to the Gerson therapy "pain triad" but couldn't find one so here it is:  
500 mg ascorbic acid (vitamin C powder) + 50 mg niacin + one standard aspirin tablet.

Please excuse my excessive editing.... I got carried away talking about my horses and had to cut something like 5 minutes off.  Ever want to distract me just ask about my boys, horses or dogs and I'll talk forever :)

End of my 2 week juice fast and Online Organic Produce delivered to your door

Here's my incomplete list of online organic grocers that will deliver organic produce to your door. I really do hate that I'm going to have to have organic produce MAILED to me.  Unfortunately, in Fort Stockton Texas there just isn't a lot of other options.  There is one grocery store and a Walmart.  Actually I was a bit surprised to see that Walmart carries a larger variety of organics than the grocery store.  At least I'll be able to get lettuce, spinach and carrots even if the carrots are in the smallest size bag possible-just the size for ONE juice.  I DID find an organic grocery in Midland (Natural Foods Market and Strawberry Fields Cafe) but it's about an hour and a half away--though I can see it will be a home away from home for me. 

www.thefruitguys.com
(these guys seem to be the ONLY online grocer who will deliver to me once I move to Fort Stockton)

www.greenling.com 

www.farmfreshtoyou.com

www.boxedgreens.com

More to come...

Juicing, Spring Water and Alternative Hygiene Products

 Isn't that the most beautiful GREEN color you've ever seen?!

For those of you who have been following me or read my blog before you will know that I don't use typical name brand hygiene products. But the reason is not because I'm opposed to big business, though that is a good enough reason in itself.  The entire reason is because I choose not to use chemicals around me, my home and my family. 

You see, I've worked so hard at cleaning up and healing my body that for me at least, it just stands to reason that I shouldn't continue to put chemicals ON my body. But that's me.

I understand that the majority of people out there believe that they NEED to use certain products to be "clean" or to smell or look good.  Most women think they "need" make-up and perfumes not to mention all the lotions, wrinkle creams, etc.  Both men and women use deodorants, toothpastes, shampoos and conditioners.  And I'm not even going to mention what's used on our clothing or in the home.  Just think about it a minute.  HOW MANY PRODUCTS DO YOU "USE" ON YOUR BODY EVERY DAY? 5? 10? How many of those have chemicals in them? Does that scare you? IT SHOULD!

Today's video I show you what I'm going to juice, a little about where I get my water and a little introduction to the idea of NOT wearing all those chemicals.... at least while you are doing a juice fast and detoxing.    

Afternoon Juice on Day 8

Not all my juice is GREEN.  

Look at this BEAUTIFUL RED JUICE! 

And what's in this beauty?

5 carrots

3 celery

1 green apple

1/4 lime

1 peeled cucumber

and the color generator and blood purifier....  1 BEET

CHEERS!

My first video blog for you :)

I'm still here and I'm still RAW!

This is just a quick post to let "Ya'll" know that I'm still here and I'm pretty damn fine :)

Life is so much BETTER when you not only find but start following your true life path. 

Being Your Authentic Self.

It's truly AMAZING!  I am so much happier on a deeper level than I've been in... well, as long as I can remember.  Oh, I've been "happy", people, things, experiences have "made me happy" but I'm not sure if I was ever happy with myself.  My core. 

I woke up recently, literally from the drugging of this so called "life".  I'm not sure if it was from eating raw foods again, from the daily enemas and detoxing of my body or if it was from the coming of 2012.  But I DID, FINALLY WAKE UP.  Just after Christmas I had a dream so vivid, so real, that I knew that I had to get to the place where the dream was my reality.  I am working towards that reality everyday now and I am truly and it's strange to say this and literally mean it... I feel at peace. 

I know that I've had a few emails and responses to my blog thanking me for helping them, or asking me to help them.  I have to admit, it's tough for me to answer.  Life is such an ongoing challenge.  Everyday brings something new and different to deal with and heal from.  Past lives to toxic body's to energy fields.  We are always dealing with something.  I am working towards helping others.  I feel that is where I need to go, what I need to do not only for others but for myself.  So, I promise, I will get to you soon.  I haven't forgotten about you and I never will :)

So.... What am I doing lately?

• The MOST IMPORTANT THING:  ENEMAS!  Whether they be coffee or otherwise.... People, the #1 way to cleanse your body and your spirit is to detoxify your body through enemas, colonics and hydrotherapy.  End of story.
• I've been eating a small amount (less than a cup) of cooked organic steel cut oatmeal gruel for breakfast flavored with local honey and a dab of organic yogurt and cinnamon.
• I am drinking juice MANY times a day.  A cup or two every hour or two or as long as three in between... but SEVERAL every single day.  If I use my juicer is almost always carrot apple.  If I'm making a smoothie it's almost always just greens, a fruit and water. 
• I'm eating a salad once a day.  Just lettuce with a light dressing of flax oil and lemon juice.
• I've QUIT eating the following: nama shoya (also known as Braggs amino acids or coconut aminos, any of those) and SALT.  I have also limited my olive oil SIGNIFICANTLY.  And I eat a few bites of avocado maybe once a month.  I'm getting my fats mostly from the flax oil, a dab of olive oil here and there and the yogurt in the morning.  And I've also cut my nut intake - even though they are sprouted or soaked nuts only anyway, I've still cut them to nearly an 1/8 of my previous intake.  
• I'm eating seasonally.  Right now I'm eating a ton of citrus from the store and the greens are from my greenhouse and gardens (Yes, I'm thankful to live far enough south to still have cilantro and arugula growing from self seeding in my front gardens.
• I'm meditating every single morning. 
• Drinking my homemade KOMBUCHA nearly every day.
• Other than the morning oatmeal I'm eating everything else RAW.  I'm not cooking anything anymore. I'm not even eating the Hippocrates soup at the moment.  But I think that's just because I got bored with it.  It absolutely helped at the time however :)

Does all of this help and make me feel better?  YES, ABSOLUTELY!

What am I drinking now?  a green smoothie of spinach, arugula, lettuce, parsley, cilantro, apple and lemon.  I can feel the SUN inside of me :)

Happy 2012!

2012 is the 

Year of Enlightenment!  

The time has finally come for those of us who have been sleeping to awaken and join the Light!  And I, for one, am not ignorning this awesome calling.

For years I have heard a calling from the distance.  Soft and sweetly I've heard the whispers of the Old Ones, the Lightworkers, and others like me.  The past year the whispering turned a little chaotic.  Raw emotions flowed from me like molten lava or lightening more so in 2011 than any year of my life.  Listening was often difficult and as a stubborn woman I often couldn't see the forest for the tress and tried desperately to cut down the trees growing so obviously in my supposed "path". To say I didn't deal with my feelings is an understatement.  The past couple months my emotions started reaching new highs (and lows) and my life became a roller coaster of craziness mixed with calm serenity. One day I'd have a pretty good idea of what I needed to do.  Other days I rebelled against myself, my family and my husband without listening to them or spirit.

I've known for awhile that this year would be different, and not just because of all the "end of the world" stuff related to 2012.  I've been so busy just getting by in this life that I forgot to look to the future and BE in the moment.  2011 I tried harder than I have in years to "be in the moment".  It's hard for me as I have a tendency to live in the past.  I've worked at learning to Love, Let Live and Let Go. I'm no where near close to perfecting it but I believe I've worked through some of the hard parts. 

This year I am focusing on bringing to fruitation what I've been called to BE in this lifetime.  The seed of my Being was planted so long ago and though I've watered it sporadically, this year I will tend to it every single day.  I will water it with love, fertilize it with knowledge and care for it like a seedling Oak that will someday grow into a strong tree with her roots firmly planted in Mother Earth.  I will forever be learning and growing, growing and learning.... and at the same time, teaching, loving and giving to you and to the world.

I am dedicated to You.  I AM your fountain of Love and Light!

When Stayin really IS worse than Leavin

I've been looking back on my marriage these past few years, wondering where I'd gone wrong, what caused this, I can't help but wonder....  Did my change in attitude start when I went raw?  I look back and I can honestly tell you that the issues we have did NOT start until after I went raw.  Coincidence?  I don't know. I honestly do not know.  I DO know that I have changed DRAMATICALLY since becoming a raw foodist.   But did it start the change in ME?  Possibly. 
As I am a country girl and I love country music I was brought to tears the first time I heard this song this summer (2011).  So, get out your hankie... 

Coffee Enemas

I've been wanting to write or do a video on coffee enemas but I'm just to chicken. But recently I found that the Wellness Warrior did a video and it's just AWESOME!  You can watch it now and my comments will be below. 



I do them a bit different but not drastically different. 

• Here is EXACTLY what I do: Immediately upon waking (about 7:45 am) I start my coffee (and if you follow the Gerson Therapy I also start my oatmeal). I have a 4 cup (32 oz) Bodum french press that looks just like this one to the right.  I put 3 rounded tablespoons of ORGANIC MEDIUM ROAST COFFEE GROUND in it and fill it about a third to halfway with boiling water.  Note about water: I get my water from a natural spring about 30 miles away and yes, the water has been tested and it's amazingly clean water.  I know I should use distilled water but something in my soul says that there are minerals in there that Mother Earth wants me to have. 
• Then I go feed my horses, eat my oatmeal and juice my first juice of the day at about 8-8:15 am.
• I then add another cup or two of boiling water to the coffee and stir.  It's easy to add the boiling water if you have a water dispenser that heats it like I do or if you use an electric tea kettle or even if you just boil it on the stove. I let that set until 9 am. Most mornings after I eat I need to "go" to the bathroom naturally. The enema works much better if you've evacuated your bowels first.  This is a retention enema -not a cleansing enema.
• At about 9 I check the temperature of the water and fill it up with either hot or cold to reach body temperature then take it to the bathroom and fill up my bucket which looks like this.

•  I have a nice little nest on the floor pretty much like the one described by the Wellness Warrior.  I have a small pillow and a thick bathmat that I've covered with a large waterproof pad that they use under your butt in hospital bed after you've had a baby (sorry don't know how else to describe them) they cost about 60 cents a piece.  You can use a towel but it is going to get messy.  Sorry. There is no way around it.  I've been doing them over a year now and the amount of times that it went perfectly can be counted on one hand. Coffee will "escape" one way or another.  It's just how it goes. Anyway, I highly suggest music or a book to keep your mind occupied or the minutes will literally drag by and it will seem like an eternity.
• I also use coconut oil to lube up the end.  
• Lay on your right side with your knees close but comfortably close to your chest, insert the end 3-4" and SLOWLY let out the coffee.  I don't care if it takes 10 minutes to let all the coffee SLOWLY drip in.  Just remember you will have much better luck keeping it in for the 12-15 minutes if and only if it goes in slowly.  Goes in fast, won't want to stay in and comes out faster. Once it is all in then you start your timer, again for 12-15 minutes or until you can't hold it any longer.  Note: It took me months to get my bowels trained to hold it that long.  MONTHS, not days and not weeks.  Months.  Don't push yourself, everyone's body is different. Shoot, you may get it on the first try!
• A little trick I learned to help keep it in longer is to make sure you don't have any left over obstructions from your (hopefully) earlier evacuation.  I let in just a little bit of coffee.  It's hard to say how much because mine is steel and you can't see how much but I count to 5 then clamp it down, remove the tube and lay there 2-3 minutes then get up and let it go into the toilet.  There... now getting it all in and keeping it all in will be so much easier - trust me!
• Repeat the above by lubing up the end, (though not too much or it will slip right out and  it will spray all over you and the floor) and remember to RELAX.  Let it in slowly.  Stop it if at any time you feel it wants to back up.  If it does feel like it wants to come out you can lower the bucket and let it flow back in.  Sometimes it's just air and you see bubbles going up the tube.  This is perfectly normal.  When the pressure is gone, slowly let the coffee flow again.  You will learn how your particular body likes it.  Listen to your body - it is the best teacher. 
• And.... This isn't rocket science. This doesn't require a nurse.  People have been giving themselves enemas for probably hundreds of years if not thousands.  It's like childbirth.  It used to be so easy and normal and then the medical community came in and wanted paid for something natural and made everyone afraid to do something your great great grandmother did as a way of life. Just remember that the temperature should be body temperature.  I prefer a touch warmer than body temp but if you are worried about burning your insides, colder isn't that big of a deal.
• After you've held it 12-15 minutes or if you couldn't hold it that long, then of course, evacuate it all into the toilet. You will probably need to sit there awhile.  I have no idea how long you will need.  I spend at least another 10 minutes there I'm guessing. I don't know though, never timed myself.  I do know that I can read a lot of pages or listen to lots of music during my morning coffee.  Keep in mind though not to rush yourself to evacuate it all at once.  There are lots of crooks and cranies and it will get stopped up in there.  Just relax, it will all come out... Oh, unless it doesn't because your body started absorbing the fluids.  Which is also fine.  

 Alrightly then!  I hope I've successfully described my morning coffee routine to you.  Please feel free to ask me ANYTHING!  I'm here to help. Really!

Almost Raw Vegan Eggplant Parmesan

So the above is a picture of my "Almost Raw Vegan Eggplant Parmesan".  It's nestled on a bed of slightly warmed spirilized zucchini topped with a raw Italian tomato sauce (roma tomatoes, onion, garlic, green pepper, basil, parsley and a dash of salt and a squirt of agave).  The white is a cashew "cheese" sauce (cashews, lemon juice, olive oil and a dash of salt and water).  The eggplant's crust is a mixture of ground flax, pecans and fresh oregano. I kinda had hoped the eggplant would "sweat" enough in the salt to soften up to an edible consistancy but it didn't in time so I threw it in the oven at 350º for 8 minutes per side.  Yes, bad for "raw" but awesome tasting and came out a much better texture and flavor.  Overall I was pretty happy though the cook in me really wanted that eggplant cooked twice as long for a more restaurant type texture.  I have several extra slices and I'm sure when I warm them up in the dehydrator they will be much better. 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE! 

May you all be Thankful for the wonderful family, friends and gifts already in your lives.

Preparing for Thanksgiving 2011

This year's Thanksgiving is going to be a little bit different than recent years.  First off this will be the first year in ten years my husband won't be home with us.  I have no idea if this will be the first of many future holidays alone or not.  Only time will give me the answer to that question. What won't change is that this will be my 5th Thanksgiving since since these lips have touched a turkey - or meat at all for that matter.

Food wise, what is going to be a bit different is that I'm going to lightly cook what I'm calling "Almost Raw-Vegan Eggplant Parmesan" In previous years and most holidays of the past I've made raw vegan lasagna mostly because it's such a pain in the ass to make unless there is a special reason.  Oh, there was that first year---that I'm sure if you searched through my older posts you would find--- that I actually attempted raw mashed "taters" outta cauliflower (gross) and raw mushroom gravy (so salty, weird color and consistency if I remember right).  If I remember right I did make some sort of raw pie.  I do have a small butternut squash.  Maybe I'll make something with it for myself.

I am making a cooked vegan dish for both the boys and myself.  Baked fresh green beans and brussels sprouts.  I got the original recipe out of the November issue of Women's Day but trust me when I say I've tweaked it to make it "Gerson friendly". 

For the boys I'm making a traditional meal of Cornish game hens with apple sausage stuffing, mashed taters and gravy.  Oh, and not to worry about the kids, I made them a pumpkin and my deadly whiskey pecan pies.

If I have time and remember I'll post pictures of my "Almost Raw-Vegan Eggplant Parma" tomorrow :)

Update on how I'm doing on the Gerson Therapy

I apologize for the lack of posts the last few months. 

I've been BUSY!  Very busy juicing and juicing and making  Hippocrates Soup and enjoying my coffee enemas..... 

and H E A L I N G!

The first few weeks on (my version of) the Gerson Therapy was quite a roller coaster ride.  Some days I was slightly better.  Some days I was much worse.  I experienced headaches, increased joint pain and inflammation, incredible muscle pain and quite a bit of a whirlwind of up and down depression mixed with hope. There were nights and nights of insomnia and then there were days all I wanted to do was sleep but had to get up every hour to juice. 

Up until Monday of this week, I've got to be honest, I was feeling pretty awesome. The pain and inflammation of the rheumatoid arthritis had practically disappeared though admittedly not 100%.  The fibromyalgia had though, seemingly disappeared all together---which is just amazing. I was feeling more and more like my old self everyday.  I had lost about 6 pounds and was just fitting into a size smaller jean which also increased my self-esteem and encouraged me to keep going because I was literally seeing the results as well as feeling them.  Sleep was wonderfully easy to attain and I felt rested in the mornings.  There is the exception that I wasn't wanting to get out of bed in the mornings even though my body felt rested but that was entirely an emotional issue.

Well, those emotional issues came to a head Monday afternoon.  I sometimes wonder if being healthy does something to my brain.  I want to know... really... why is it that when I feel good, my body starts to heal and I see the possibility of an actual healthy future that I do and say things that have the potential to cause my self-destruction?  Or is it that it's actually not self-destruction but the need to be true to myself for a change. Does being healthy cause my true self to want to come out from behind the cripple mask?  Is the thought of being crippled and in physical pain the rest of my life easier for me to deal with than what happens to my feelings when I start feeling physically healthy? Because the thoughts and feelings that run through this girl's head when she feels good is scary... and heartbreaking.

Anyway, due to personal issues I'm not comfortable discussing here, I ended up taking a road trip Tuesday. And even though I took my juicer and my veggies I still cheated... a lot.  And I drank everyday for 3 days.  And ate bread and cheese and dairy and things I knew I shouldn't be eating and drinking.  I knew that every bite would not only stop my progression of getting healthier but take me backwards.  But I did it willingly and with intention.  Crazy? Yes and No.  If you knew the circumstances of my emotional and mental state I believe you would understand.  How do you choose?  It's impossible.  I want both.

Now I am home again and the past two days I've been trying to get back into my schedule-but it's tough.  Even just a few days and those addictions hit me hard. I have been doing the juicing though not as many as I'm supposed to. I haven't actually been eating enough, just a salad here and there but I did make a batch of Hippocrates Soup this afternoon.  And of course I've continued with the coffee enemas. I never stopped those as they help me so much with pain management. 

I'm upset with myself because my hands started swelling and hurting again.  I'm frustrated that my feet, ankles, knees and hips are painful again. I'm mad that my sleep is seriously disrupted again.  And I'm just depressed that in 3 days I gained the 6 pounds that took me 2 months to lose (though losing weight was not the intention-it just made me feel better about myself).

Image courtesy VintageHolidayCrafts.com

But I know I can do it again.  I know I can get back to where I was at the beginning of the week.  I know my joints and muscles will feel 'normal' and my sleep patterns will return and the weight will come off and I will feel good again.

Yet at the same time now I also have to deal with a personal issue that is incredibly difficult.  And I don't know what to do about it.  I keep telling myself 'one day at a time, one minute at a time'.  That now instead of healing just my body, now I'm healing my whole self.  Body and Soul.  I hope I'm strong enough. 

 

Depending on the religion there are actually many possible meanings surrounding the Lotus Flower but the most basic meaning that means the most to me is the simpleness of BIRTH OR REBIRTH and SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT. I look forward to the 'rebirth' of my body and my soul.

This is absolutely the BEST video I've seen on FIBROMYALGIA.  I know it sounds "crazy" but it's all true.  I've experienced all of it personally on and off for years.  At the end the video poses a question... and the answer is "YES".  BUT WE CAN ALSO CURE IT OURSELVES.

Valerie Lumley's Story of curing her Fibromyalgia

This woman's story makes mine look like a picnic.  Yet our stories are similar. 

Chronic disease CAN be reversed with a high raw food diet.

I love Dan the Man :)

I've been watching the Life Regenerator for a few years now.  If you are interested in tons and tons of health and healing videos about raw food and juicing but not turned off by a slightly crazy healthy guy.... this is worth watching :)

Fibromyalgia Healing and Cure

Fermenting, Fermenting, Everywhere Fermenting!

A few weeks ago I was cleaning up in my office and found a GT Dave's Kombucha drink with a baby SCOBY (Symbiotic Culture of Bacteria and Yeast) in the bottom! I was so very excited as I've been wanting to make my own kombucha for quite some time but thought that I had to buy a "mother" off the internet.  I didn't realize I could make my own. After a bit of digging on the internet (seriously, when the world collapses what am I going to do without internet!) I found out that, yes, a person really can make a mother from just leaving a jar of purchased kombucha on their desk for a few weeks.  Crazy!

So I then set my little mother scoby aside and brewed up a batch of sweet tea using half Jasmine tea and half Dragon Pearl tea and a cup of organic raw sugar in 8 cups spring water. I then added a cup of purchased kombucha and the little mother scoby.  I covered it an an antique flour sack and hid it in an upper cabinet. Here is a picture of what it looks like after about 3 weeks.  The little 2" mother that I found in my purchased bottle sunk to the bottom and I think she's still down there but I have no idea. I'm not supposed to disturb it so I don't rightly know at the moment.  I'm sure she's down there somewhere.  You can see that a new paperthin baby is forming at the top.  Too slowly for me, but still, she's growing and that's what matters.

I tasted the brew and I'm afraid its a little too vinegary for my tastes but I think I'll still try to mix it with some fruit juices this afternoon and bottle those and let them sit out another week and see what happens.  I'm thinking I'll do some of each: lemon-ginger, pear, and blackberry.

I've brewed up another batch of green tea and Dragon Pearl tea with organic raw sugar and I will feed that to the mother this afternoon.  She needs the sugar and caffeine to feed off of and as it's tasting pretty vinegary I want to give her some fresh food.

Now, on to more fermenting!

Wow! Will you look at this!  I made this beautiful purple sauerkraut this morning.  I was supposed to be doing some graphics work but as I'm the Queen of Procrastination I decided making sauerkraut was more appropriate.

And just so you know, this is my First Attempt at making this amazingly powerful raw pro-biotic food.

Here's my Raw Purple Sauerkraut recipe

1 massive head green cabbage

1 small head purple cabbage

1 fennel bulb

4 cloves garlic

1 Tbs semi-ground caraway seeds

1-2 Tbs Sea Salt

I shredded everything with my food processor, poured into a large mixing bowl and salted.  After washing my hands really well with non-chemical coconut soap I started the "smooshing" process.  I've got to tell you, for a woman with RA, the smooshing was a little more difficult than I'd like to admit. But at the same time it was therapeutic.  It's nice to take out your frustrations on innocent cabbage knowing your turning it into something yummy.

I've got to be honest.  I was quite surprised at the color.  I expect it will turn pink after 5 days to a week of fermenting on the counter.  I'll take pictures as the days go by and show you the color change.